Saturday, March 17, 2007

Roller Coaster Days

I am actually tired of days like this. Things seem to been going pretty good, actually great, then all of a sudden, Bam! There is a major issue.

Here is a brief scenario of my life.

  • Right at birth, it starts of and sucks.
  • Pretty bad until I get married, 20 years later.
  • Finally graduate college, pretty good and excited.
  • Work in the early days of Christian music, great life, but no money.
  • Start working in Mental Health, Late 20’s, life is good, I am finally making money.
  • Leave the “Professional Life” to go into ministry where I feel God is calling me, again no money.
  • Leave being the pastor of a church and start new life, (4 weeks ago) again no money.
  • People believe in what I am doing and contribute, some hope.

Things seem to go up and down. Concerns and problems always seem centered on one thing, money. Oh to live in the days where friends and family took care of each other.

Right now, with our new ministry, The Virtual Pew, we have enough funds in our budget for about 6 - 7 months of salary obligations. I get paid $400 a week not much, but I can live on it. I need speaking gigs, and contributions to survive and keep up necessary funds for our budget, (ministry and mine) which include helping out folks as we can, and doing other types of ministry. To meet total budgetary needs for The Virtual Pew we need an additional $24,600 which we will hopefully earn by monthly donations, one time contributions, eventual sales on The Virtual Pew store, and speaking engagements.

How is it a roller coaster? On Friday I get a generous contribution that allows for the purchase of several items of ministry, such as a lap-top (I get it for $500 off retail a great machine), a projector for presentations (find a floor model for $200 off retail) and then back up funds to allow ministry to The Lost, The Last & The Least for about 6 months to provide my salary during that time.

Then, this morning I get a phone call from the people renting our house in Oklahoma, our original dream house on Lake Oologah. They are not going to be able to pay the rent this summer due to going on a mission’s trip and need to turn in their notice to move out in 2 weeks. Bam! There is that downward slide of the roller coaster that turns your gut inside out.

One thing I am sure of is the need for people in ministry to maintain integrity, for that reason, we won’t compromise a single dollar of the money that has been designated in gifts for ministry. We live like most folks, from week to week, and sometimes the weeks are iffy. While it would be great to be able to eat the mortgage costs until the house is rented or additional funds are available, that just isn’t possible, remember the week to week comment above.

There are questions we have, what about a house that was a dream house? Are we going to have to sell it? How do we take care of the mortgage on it until we sell it if we do? Is it possible that we will lose the house and any of the investments we made on the house? What will this do to our credit? Is there any way to keep the house we had wanted to designate for ministry use? You can imagine, the questions goes on and on.

Here is what I know, although sometimes it is hard to live it.

Matthew 6:25-34

(25) I tell you not to worry about your life. Don't worry about having something to eat, drink, or wear. Isn't life more than food or clothing? (26) Look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds?
(27) Can worry make you live longer? (28) Why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow. They don't work hard to make their clothes. (29) But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn't as well clothed as one of them. (30) God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. He will surely do even more for you! Why do you have such little faith? (31) Don't worry and ask yourselves, "Will we have anything to eat? Will we have anything to drink? Will we have any clothes to wear?" (32) Only people who don't know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father in heaven knows that you need all of these. (33) But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.

(34) Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.

It is hard to not worry about tomorrow; I think one of the reasons is that sometimes on any given day we are living in can be so difficult. The truth is sometimes it is just like life sucks and there isn’t much obvious hope. It is in those times, the times that we overcome the obstacles we face, that we know where our faith is really at and how difficult it is to sometimes live and practice that faith.

Yes, of all families, I think mine knows more than most of how God is Faithful. It is a reminder I need, it is a hope I have, God continues to be God. Just when I think things are too tough for me, I realize there are others going through tougher times, and tougher situations. I can learn from their examples, witness, and strength. Is it easy? As the Apostle Paul would answer at times, “Hell no!” Is it possible on the other hand? I continue to believe and not compromise the fact, that; “With Christ, all things are possible.”

To become more a part of The Virtual Pew, visit, To learn more about me visit I am also active on MySpace at: I have another blog at To visit the Hollywood Jesus group at MySpace with membership by numerous Hollywood Jesus reviewers visit: You can contact me via email at or

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