Here it is, 4:00 AM on Easter Sunday Morning. It is kind of different, I sat alone in a hotel in Kansas City, looking out my window to my left overlooking Interstate 29 and on my right I am listening to the television. Right now I am listening to the CNN special regarding What Would Jesus Do? I just finished listening to Rick Warren, and am now listening to a Rabi and a Catholic Priest speak about; Would Jesus be Married.
For me this is certainly a different Easter, much different than Easters of the past. Many of those Easter Sunday’s were quite different, whether as a child wondering why it was Christians made such a big deal over the day, but in fact never lived the teachings of Jesus, and at other times getting into all of the Easter Bunny, Easter Egg hunts and all of that.
Right now I am listening to the commentator on CNN give a rant or sermon about living out the teachings of Jesus. I love what he is saying, “no political party has a hold on Jesus.” “Christians quit talking about what Jesus would do to make the planet better, start living the message of Jesus.” “Following Jesus is more than being about one or two issues.” I think his name is Rowland Martin, not positive, but a good message at this time of the morning.
The message reminds me that my relationship with Jesus is as much about what he is going to do with me as it is about what he has done for me. In fact it is a lot more than just me as I am not a sole proprietary of Jesus. That being said, one of the wonderful things is that Jesus treats me like someone special, he treats me like, well, he treats me personally, and in a special way.
I can think of all kinds of events where I have found in my own life that the Resurrection is real, that Jesus still lives is real. I can think of no better way than what he did for me a number of years ago now.
I was living in Tulsa Oklahoma and while at the time I had been married for going on 20 years, times did not look good. Fact is, I was searching for a relationship with another female, not getting it, and throwing away my marriage. We were not living together and I was just so messed up, doing so many stupid things that many reading this wouldn’t believe it unless you know me and knew me then, and those will know that what I speak of here to be factual. The truth is, I was throwing my life away, I loved my God, I loved my Savior, but I put them on the back burner. I was having an emotional affair, seeking to have a physical affair, even crossing the line at times and doing things I knew were wrong and shouldn’t have done. I was drinking again, quite heavily, and was really glad that no drugs were available or I would have been involved with them again. I was also smoking a couple packs a day of Djarum clove cigarettes. I know for some, all of this hard to believe, for others, knowing that what I am saying is true.
It was on the Saturday before Easter I had visited our house outside of Tulsa in Owasso Oklahoma to see my wife and kids. I know when I had walked in the door early in the morning on Saturday from the night before I smelled of cigarette smoke and alcohol. I shouldn’t have been driving that night and have looked back many times thinking how grateful I was some years later that I didn’t get a DUI during those times. It was as usual, my wife and I got into it, our children had to have been hurt through all of that, arguing, fussing, and knowing that their momma and papa was going to be separating. I decided to leave and go back to the place I was staying that morning.
For me this is certainly a different Easter, much different than Easters of the past. Many of those Easter Sunday’s were quite different, whether as a child wondering why it was Christians made such a big deal over the day, but in fact never lived the teachings of Jesus, and at other times getting into all of the Easter Bunny, Easter Egg hunts and all of that.
Right now I am listening to the commentator on CNN give a rant or sermon about living out the teachings of Jesus. I love what he is saying, “no political party has a hold on Jesus.” “Christians quit talking about what Jesus would do to make the planet better, start living the message of Jesus.” “Following Jesus is more than being about one or two issues.” I think his name is Rowland Martin, not positive, but a good message at this time of the morning.
The message reminds me that my relationship with Jesus is as much about what he is going to do with me as it is about what he has done for me. In fact it is a lot more than just me as I am not a sole proprietary of Jesus. That being said, one of the wonderful things is that Jesus treats me like someone special, he treats me like, well, he treats me personally, and in a special way.
I can think of all kinds of events where I have found in my own life that the Resurrection is real, that Jesus still lives is real. I can think of no better way than what he did for me a number of years ago now.
I was living in Tulsa Oklahoma and while at the time I had been married for going on 20 years, times did not look good. Fact is, I was searching for a relationship with another female, not getting it, and throwing away my marriage. We were not living together and I was just so messed up, doing so many stupid things that many reading this wouldn’t believe it unless you know me and knew me then, and those will know that what I speak of here to be factual. The truth is, I was throwing my life away, I loved my God, I loved my Savior, but I put them on the back burner. I was having an emotional affair, seeking to have a physical affair, even crossing the line at times and doing things I knew were wrong and shouldn’t have done. I was drinking again, quite heavily, and was really glad that no drugs were available or I would have been involved with them again. I was also smoking a couple packs a day of Djarum clove cigarettes. I know for some, all of this hard to believe, for others, knowing that what I am saying is true.
It was on the Saturday before Easter I had visited our house outside of Tulsa in Owasso Oklahoma to see my wife and kids. I know when I had walked in the door early in the morning on Saturday from the night before I smelled of cigarette smoke and alcohol. I shouldn’t have been driving that night and have looked back many times thinking how grateful I was some years later that I didn’t get a DUI during those times. It was as usual, my wife and I got into it, our children had to have been hurt through all of that, arguing, fussing, and knowing that their momma and papa was going to be separating. I decided to leave and go back to the place I was staying that morning.
On the way from Owasso to Tulsa on that Easter morning I was listening to a local Black Oriented Radio Program. I don’t remember who it was on the program but they were interviewing an artist who had played with Chaka Kahn who was now having a successful solo career in the music industry. This lady, from Tulsa was talking about how she was living in the world, having it made while she toured and sand with many of the top R&B artists in the industry. She spoke also about how she had remembered her Grandma, back in Tulsa praying for her and lifting her up, she prayed about how she had felt her grandma’s prayers.
To say the least, that message resonated with me, it resonated because I as well remembered my own Grand Ma’s prayers. I remember staying at my grandmothers’ house, waking up sometimes before day break seeing her sitting at the dining room table, doing her Bible study, then taking the time to pray. She did this every morning that I can ever recall. I knew she prayed for me, because she told me, I know she prayed for me, because I saw her pray. The message I was hearing on the radio made me think, “Oh God, you have given me so much, my grandmother who had prayed for me had given me so much. Why would I throw all of this away”
As I arrived at the place I was staying the tears had already begin to flow. It was then that I sat down and wrote the music to a song I have performed many times, but a song I don’t think I have ever been able to perform without having tears in my eyes, and many other times, barely able to finish. It was that Easter morning that I wrote the songs to Grandma’s Prayers.
I used to hear you praying,
but now I know you’re gone
I know I miss you grandma,
you’ve been gone oh so long.
You spent your life
You prayed for me
You spent it praying on you’re knees
Jesus Came and died for me,
and the veil was torn.
You can now talk with God,
if you’ve been reborn.
I can still remember,
the day God sat me free.
My grandma’s prayers,
played a part
in what God did for me
You spent your life
You prayed for me
You spent it praying on you’re knees
Jesus came and died for me,
and the Veil was torn.
You can now talk with God,
if you’ve been reborn.
My life has not been perfect,
many times I’ve fallen down.
But my grandma’s prayers
played a part in what God did for me.
I used to hear you praying,
but now I know you’re gone
I know I miss you grandma,
you’ve been gone oh so long.
You spent your life
You prayed for me
You spent it praying on you’re knees
Jesus Came and died for me,
and the veil was torn.
You can now talk with God,
if you’ve been reborn.
Jesus Came and died for me,
and the veil was torn.
You can now talk with God,
if you’ve been reborn.
It was that morning, after penning the music and words to that song that I returned back to my home in Owasso. It was that Easter morning that I went back and made things right with my wife and family. It was that morning that I realized that with all I had gone through in life, there had been many people I know who had been praying for me. I knew that of all of the people I had ever met, that my grandmother was the most Godly human being I had ever met. It was my grandmother that had prayed for me so much, and for so long. At that point I begin to realize these things, I knew I could hear the Holy Spirit drawing me back to God.
I can’t say that my life since this moment has been perfect, but I can say, I haven’t fallen back into the life I did at that point. I can say that the relationship between my wife and I, some 9-10 years later has been much better. I can say my children have seen their father dedicate himself back to them and to his faith. I know that I can speak from experience, that the one who died on a cross still lives. One of the catch phrases that many Christians use is, “born again,” or even being “reborn.” I can tell you from experience that in my life with Christ I continue to reborn, it is an ongoing process. I can also tell you that there have been episodes in my life where this has been obvious in my perception of my own life. That Easter morn was such a time for me. I knew, someway in my spirit and in my life, that Jesus was alive and wanted more for me.
I have to admit, there have been times I haven’t listened, but on that Easter morn, I am glad I listened to my God calling me back to a place where I could experience happiness without alcohol or drugs, I am glad he called me back to a place where I could experience love without infidelity. I am glad he called me back to a place I could be a father who was there with his children as opposed to being at a distance from them. I could go on, but the bottom line, I was glad, I was happy, I was again at peace.
I guess this Easter morning, here in this hotel, all alone for the moment, I am reminded of the fact that Jesus still lives. He still loves, and he still cares and wants people to know happiness. I still know that people are praying for me, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I can also tell you that I have learned lessons in life and there are many here that I have prayed for and have considered it an honor because I know how valuable those prayers for me.
This morning, this week, or whenever you read this, know that Jesus loves you, know that his death on a cross was an indication of the amount of love he had for you. I think we forget a passage in the Bible that states that, “Jesus could have called down tens of thousands of angels to prevent the crucifixion if he had wanted to.” The bottom line, is he freely gave up his life on a cross for you so that you could live life and receive the happiness and joy that he wanted so much. As hard as it is to believe, he wanted to have a relationship with you. It is unreal, that the God of the universe would want this personal relationship, but his actions on the cross proved that he did. As important as this is, we have to also remember, and always know, that his resurrection proved the point that Jesus Christ had power over the grave, and ultimately that power can be ours if we just ask.
I could end today’s article in many ways, but I can think of only one appropriate way, so to all who read this, I would shout that I know, from the bottom of my heart, and from the depths of my soul,
HE IS RISEN!
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