Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.
God's Spirit doesn't make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7
In my past abuse, I think I am sometimes, if not a lot of times, over sensitive. The acceptance of others, to feel their love is of incredible importance. While I know people are far from perfect, even have the potential to hurt, they also have the potential to help, encourage, and yes, even love and be used by God to help those of us who have gone through tough times. I suspect I want the approval of people because for so many years, I felt unloved even by God. I have come to the place where I find joy in the love I feel from God, but I have to admit, I still hurt and cringe at times because of the lack of love I sometimes feel from people.
I want to find that happy place, the place where people are used by God to in part express His love to me, but also to the place where I know that the main love that matters is from God. I am reminded that if God is for me, who can be against me? I still want, and long for acceptance and love from others though.
The journal process for me is a way to open up and start letting people know of my desires, wants, and yes, even needs in regards to human interaction. It is also brings me back to the point I need to be to remember what God has and will give me.
Father, provide the love and acceptance I so desperately need. Where I need that love from others, move them and help me see it. I realize I need to lean not on my own understanding but to lean more on you. Help me in this area, help me come to the place where I find the fullness of joy you have for me, not just in my physical needs, but my emotional needs.
Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.
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