Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.Today’s topic on trust is one that has hit home for a number of years. I am pretty sure that I have learned to trust God, but I am far from being at a place where I can trust others. I have said many times, ‘The only one I can trust is God; others have done nothing but let me down and I have a hard time even trusting myself.’ I even had a pastor once ask me to trust him, I responded, ‘If you knew how many Christians and pastors have let me down, you would never ask me to trust you.’
I have to be honest about it, while I trust God; I think there is more trust I can have in Him Him. He has been faithful in all areas of my life and I have come so far from where I once was in life, all with the help of God. That said, I think I still have doubts based on the circumstances I may be going through at any moment of time. I know it isn’t God’s fault, I just need to come to the place where I believe 100% of what I say about God in regards to Him taking care of my families needs.
I wish people knew how much pain they create in another over a long period of time when they let others down, or don’t honor their word, thus, giving that person a reason to not trust. It is lonely place when one has come to the place that they can only trust God.
God I know you have been by and far the most faithful one in my life. Help me to develop more confidence, and more trust. God show me the people I can trust, let me experience through them the trust that lets me know I am not alone on this journey.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
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