Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 31

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Over the years as I have gone through my own recovery, not just from physical and sexual abuse, but the religious abuse as described in these journal entries. I have developed a relationship with God that has proven to be of great value in each of these experiences. Over the years, with some difficulty at times, I have realized, the more time I spend with God, in prayer, or in other ways the better I do emotionally. I value my relationship with God.

I spend time with God each day, whether going through this journal process or daily devotions. I seek wisdom and direction from God in understanding through my daily process, and I have for some time set aside Fridays as my Sabbath. There are distractions though.

Fridays is a Holy Day to me. While I try to spend time with God each day, I dedicate the whole day to God on Fridays, but there are people who don’t understand the importance of this day to me. As of recent I have had to turn off my cell phone. There are other distractions though, that even on the surface while seemingly good; take me away from the time I value most. Most of the time, those distractions are people who either don’t understand the reality of God, or don’t care about the time I value. The Sabbath issue is a big one for me because I the value of the time to reflect on the goodness and love of God.

I agree with the premise in today’s journal process. Everything in life that is worthwhile starts with a single step. That step of spending time with God, developing a real, lasting relationship is something that in my experience, most so called followers of Jesus doesn’t take. I am not saying people should get entwined into the religious aspects of Christianity. I am talking about a relationship with Jesus that goes beyond religious expectations. It is in Jesus that healing exists; it is in Him that relationship is developed with God. I don’t know the answers for everyone, but I know what has worked for me. The relationship with Christ has given me the direction, help and change needed. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been honest, and in being honest with God, it gets easier with each step.

I realize there may be people who long for more with God. They long more in their relationship with Him. As hard as the first step is at rebuilding bridges and relationship it gets easier once one takes that step of working on their relationship with God. Hopefully today, at least through my experiences in this area, there are those who will take those steps.

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