Thursday, May 12, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 28

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I came face to face with an interesting concept that I have to digest, chew on, and reflect on. Am I talking back to God more than I am talking with God? This is an interesting concept and to be honest about it; one where I think that as of late, I have likely been talking back to God more than talking with him. There is a difference.

It is in the talking with God that I understand God’s direction, purpose and confidence. In this place I will be able to better see what is best for me and reflect on the situation I am in.

I have no doubt that God loves me and desires the best for me. I have had a lasting relationship with God for a number of years, but is it possible that the relationship I have has become routine? Have I forgotten the freshness of a loving conversation? Is my conversation with God one where not only I share my thoughts, but I take the time to listen?

God has in the past, and will again in the present and future, use the circumstance I am in to help and bless someone else. I have to learn to receive what God has for me. My relationship with God is not all about what I can do for others, it also understands, and appreciates what God can and will do for me.

God, help me to escape in our times together. Let me look forward to those times much like a date on a mountain side overlooking waterfalls and blueberry fields. Let me renew my spirit in those times, in those places, not just to enjoy the surroundings but to hear that gentle whisper of the things you have for me.

We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him. They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose, ~ Romans 8:28

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