All through the Bible we see the concept of friendship presented. Even in today’s world, the concept of friend has been popularized by such things as having “friends” at Facebook. Unfortunately, that word friend because of things like Facebook has in my opinion been bastardized. That is, it has strayed so far from it’s original meaning that it essentially has lost its meaning.
Using the Biblical definition, what is a friend? From
the Bible Dictionary we have the following: “In both Testaments the ideas of
friend and friendship involve three components: association, loyalty, and
affection. There are also three levels of meaning: friendship as association
only; friendship as association plus loyalty; and friendship as association
plus loyalty plus affection.”
With the above definition I can’t help but wonder,
have we and people lost the meaning of things like loyalty and affection? It seems to me as if the word friend is just
a word for someone we know, better fitting with the concept of an associate or acquaintance,
but certainly, not someone we are loyal and/or are faithful to.
Some know I share my emotions on my sleeves, or
tattooed arms if you will. I am not afraid to share my feelings and emotions
with others. It is one of the things that makes me unique I guess, it is a way
of me dealing with life as well as an understanding that sometimes it is a way
to help others deal with the same thoughts, they may have that I either am, or
have experienced. So here goes.
At this point in my life, I have had very few real
friends. A lot of acquaintances but few friends. Obviously, my late wife was
more than a lover, she was a friend. Then, with a real blessing of God. I now have
someone I can talk to about anything like no one I have ever been able to talk
to. I don’t mean this as a slam in any way on anyone, but at this point, I can
talk to my fiancé Sheila about things like I have never been able to talk to
another about except for the Lord. That, my “friends,” is a real and true
friendship. I have a question though, what if we could experience that level of
friendship and love for each other, as I do believe that love does exist in a
brotherly and sisterly way with real friends?
How much easier would it be to deal with life’s issues, it’s
difficulties?
I have PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It is a horrible condition. If you don’t know what it is I encourage you
to look it up. It can be debilitating and is often influenced by triggers or
events that bring back memories. I
recently went through a bout of depression because of some triggers that are
and have been going on. I needed friends, friendship, the feeling of love that
only friends can bring about. I prayed, I asked others to pray for me, and
thankfully they did and even more thankfully, God heard those prayers.
In short, God answered those prayers by allowing me to
spend time with an old friend from Tennessee who was taking his new bride to be
back to Tennessee from Washington State. That day, reflecting on old times,
just hearing the voice and dialect of “home”, (I am originally from Upper East
Tennessee but haven’t lived there in over 40 years) was so healing. To talk
about old memories, good times, hard times, it was healing. But there was a
kicker that God also provided. Besides my best friend Jesus, God provided me
time with my best earthly friend, the person I have come to love with my all, by
far the person I can talk to like no other on this earth, God provided me time
with my Sheila.
Sheila works a tough schedule, often with mixed hours
and long hours that prevents us from spending the time together that I am so
hungry and thirsty for. So, I’ve learned to cherish those times together, even
if just for moments. While we talk online when we can, it just isn’t like being
there, to caress her arm, or to experience a passionate kiss, and then, to also
just talk. To talk about things that are important, to talk about things we can’t
talk to any other about. To know that the person is listening, and that they
care. That is what real friends do. With Sheila and I/we experience all facets
of love, a Godly Love, a Brotherly Sister Love, and beyond that an Erotic
Passionate love meant for a married couple. That is the ultimate friend but unfortunately,
we can’t all meet, nor should we, all those facets of friendship. I do believe
that the last one mentioned, Erotic or Eros Love is intended for two people God
has brought together to partner in life and to essentially as the Bible states,
to go to the place where the two become one. The question is, how do we get to
the place where we can be real friends with others in the appropriate ways we can?
We all know, we need real friendship, but it is unfortunately lacking.
I don’t have all the answers but the thing I do know
is we have to be careful. One reason it is so hard to develop real friendships is
because of issues related to trust. We all fail here, let that be clear, but it
is something we must work at. It isn’t an issue of if we can be trustworthy, it
becomes an issue of will we be trustworthy and then, be willing to perfect that
character trait. Then and only then, do
I think we can trust enough to be willing to be open and share in the important
things of life, be it emotions or experiences with others. It’s not easy, I
know. I am often asked to trust people. My general response is that I’ve
learned to only trust myself and God and half of the time I don’t trust myself.
Believe me, I know, it isn’t easy, but I know, it’s necessary. For me, let me make something clear, I can for
example speak to Sheila like no other, my truest friend because she opened up
to me about herself. She took the first step which enabled me to trust her
more. It is because she was willing to take that step, that my life is so much
better because now, well, now I have someone I can talk to about anything. Of
course, the Lord is and has always been there, but there is definitely
something about us as human beings carrying out that concept of love, trust,
that the Lord expects us to have in Him.
Here is my challenge today, work at being a friend, not an acquaintance, not just a social media friend, but a real friend. Here is the crazy thing about it, when we work on this, not only does it improve our life, but it also improves the life of the one we have chosen to be friends with. So, in that regard, I challenge, work to make life better not just for you, but those friends, even if they be few that surround you and share in life with you.
For some reason, it seems like this song is appropriate, after all, I wonder, Why Can't We Be Friends.
WAR - Why Can't We Be Friends? W/ Lyrics - YouTube
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