The Best Slide Guitar Player I Ever Knew: A Suicide Story

Stan Hamm was one of the best guitar players I ever knew. He was without a doubt the best acoustic slide player I ever knew. After working for a number of years in the music business and hearing some of the great guitar players of my time it takes a lot to impress me. Stan impressed me, and the memory of seeing him play, still has a lasting impression.

Stan was tall, over six feet with dirty blonde hair. He was slim with decent muscle tone due to the years spent on his family’s farm and all of the carpentry work he had done. He had the tendency to wear a beard for a month or so and then change his look in some way, either by shaving, changing his hair style, something. He wasn’t overly handsome but he was far from ugly. He could have had many more girlfriends than he did, but he was complicated with a lot of deep thoughts and concerns he wasn’t afraid of discussing.

I first met Stan while attending Tabor College in Hillsboro, Kansas. Hillsboro is a small town and Tabor is a small Mennonite Brethren college. When I first met him I didn’t know he was a musician. We were involved in some classes together and I found out that he enjoyed some of the same Christian artists I did. The one that brought us together was Larry Norman. I enjoyed how Larry Norman used Rock ‘N’ Roll to address social issues and Stan was of the same opinion. It didn’t take long before Stan showed up at my house one evening with guitar in hand.

At that time I was a frustrated musician who had not taken the time or made the effort to learn to play my bass guitar in an appropriate way. I dabbled with a harmonica and tried to sing but really wasn’t that good. I’ll never forget the first time I heard Stan play. I was amazed at how fast his fingers were and how good his music felt. When he brought out that old glass pop bottle neck and started playing slide guitar I was blown away. I had never heard anything like it. He could play everything from classic blues to gospel renditions which he often did at church. His slide version of Amazing Grace is still one of the best renditions I have ever heard. His fingering with both his left and right hand were so effortless, yet the music was without mistake and nothing short of incredible. On some of the things he would sing, and he wasn’t all that bad vocally either.

One of the things I always appreciated in my friends was their honesty and Stan was one of the most honest people I have ever known. I’ll never forget sitting out in the garage one evening, Stan playing guitar and me trying to play harmonica and sing some of those Larry Norman songs. It wasn’t long before Stan told me, "I don’t really think you should sing. It’s not that you can’t sing but you can’t sing the style we are playing." While those comments hurt a little I appreciated him for his honesty. His honesty also caused me to take my singing and playing more seriously. Through the brutality of his honesty I was challenged to be a better singer and a much better musician. I realized that Stan was good for me and would help me not only become a better musician, but a better person.

Over the years Stan and my family became close. For a year and a half we lived in separate attached apartments. We kept the doors between the apartments open and had a common room together that we called our family room. We lived in a community with other close Christian friends but while those families shared their own apartment space Stan and my family took it a step further. The television and our reading materials were in the family room. Our daughter was only 3 or 4 at the time and Stan would watch her as we went to the store or ran other errands. We looked after his things when he wanted us to. We shared most all possessions because we were like family. We even shared a meal together each evening. What was ours was his, and what was his was ours.

Over the years Stan became involved in the jail ministry I organized in college. He was among the first to care and respond to the people we tried to help and was there each week. There were four of us that were regulars in this ministry and we drew close over the four years we worked together. Stan was also involved at church, with student prayer groups on campus, and Bible studies. As far as I was concerned, he had it all together and we had a love for each other that was hard to describe.

Stan and I shared a number of heartaches together. We both had difficulties with our families and there were times we shared those heartaches with each other. He was having some troubles with his folks and their newfound "Charismatic" faith. I on the other hand had difficulty with my family who were all strict Republicans and very conservative. One Christmas Stan went home with me to Tennessee. That particular Christmas was unusual in Tennessee because the temperature was in the 70’s and the mountains were beautiful. We took a 4 mile hike up into the mountains to one of the beautiful waterfalls in the National Forest surrounding Erwin Tennessee. We found some popular tree leaves to cover ourselves with after we decided to strip down and get into the pools surrounding the waterfalls and take some photos.

Later that day we went home and spent time with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It wasn’t unusual that when we got together my family would get into some deep philosophical or political argument, this time was no different. While I was so hurt that I was ready to leave and drive back to Kansas, Stan was among the first to be at my side, telling me that my family was worth more than any political view. It was important to make up and see to it that we didn’t have this type of separation, especially at Christmas. It was times like this that I knew Stan was a dear friend. I was there for him when he needed me and he was there for me when I needed him.

Some years later I ended up graduating from college and Stan and I went our separate ways. He spent time in Hillsboro, Oklahoma and Colorado and I was in South Carolina. It was almost 3 years later before I saw him again. My wife, daughter and I were visiting Hillsboro Kansas during Easter. While there we had decided to spend as much time with Stan as possible. I could see at the time that Stan was having some difficulties. He was focused more on the problems around him and didn’t seem happy. He was disillusioned with the church and the Christians around him. He was tired of seeing them talk about love while never showing love. I had not seen Stan like this before, at least not to this extent. We spent a good deal of time together and before I departed to go back to South Carolina I told him that if he ever needed anything to give me a call.

I had been back in South Carolina for almost a year when I received a phone call late one night. It was Stan on the other end of the line and he had awakened my wife and me. I was surprised to hear from him but was pleased. I quickly sat up in the bed and told my wife who it was on the other end. We had not been talking long when Stan began to ask questions about South Carolina. He wanted to know what the people were like, how hard was it to find a job and things of this nature. He than asked if I would be willing to let him move in with us if he moved there. My wife, Mary Jane and I were surprised because we still maintained a close relationship with him and considered him a part of our family. He would always be welcome, he should know that. He told us of his frustrations of living in a small town and living around “supposed Christians." The conversation lasted for close to an hour and I didn’t get much sleep that night due to the excitement of the conversation and the opportunity to talk to my old friend Stan. To be honest I was hoping that he would be moving in rather soon.

My wife was a little less optimistic after much of the discussion of the opportunity of Stan moving in with us in South Carolina. She had remembered his wonderful habit of eating raw garlic. She used to tell him that she could smell him coming up the stairs of the apartment before she heard him. Stan had also been experiencing some problems we were not to aware of and she felt it would be a good idea to find out what was going on in his life before having him move in. While there were several discussions between my wife and me, they were mute, Stan was welcome and we hoped to hear from him soon. Despite my effort to contact Stan over the next several months I was unable to do so. He was moving from one place to another and not many people knew where he was at or how to reach him.

A few months later I accepted a job in Hendersonville, North Carolina. It was only 35 miles from where we lived in Greenville, South Carolina but we moved none the less. I took the job as the Director of a Rehabilitation program in for mentally ill adults. We decided to go ahead and move despite it still being within commuting distance. Things were going great when I received a letter one day from an old friend back in Kansas.

My college had written a brief paragraph in its alumni newsletter regarding my new job. One of the mutual friends I had with Stan wrote me a letter. It was a surprise when I got the letter and I was excited. It started off in the traditional tone, "Hey Mike, it’s Mark here in Kansas. I recently read about you working in Mental Health and I am doing the same thing type of thing here in Newton, Kansas." There was more small talk, which was exciting to me, but then, the shocker, "By the way don’t know if you know or not, but do you know that Stan is dead?"

To say the least my emotions went from the high of hearing from an old friend to instant shock. I’ll never forget my wife who was with me that day at work. She could tell something was wrong from my silence and expression. "What’s wrong Mike?" she asked.

"Stan’s dead" was all I could say.

That evening I called Mark. I needed to know the details. It is hard to explain, that is to know the details, but I couldn’t control the urge. Mark was convinced that Stan was Bipolar and that he had difficulty with all of the things going on. Stan was in Colorado when he had killed himself and was by all evidence, alone. I couldn’t then and still have a hard time accepting that Stan is dead. I often wonder, dream and think about the possibility that maybe he really isn’t dead. I have had to come to accept over the years that he is dead and a dear friend is no longer around.

I have had many regrets, questions and thoughts over the years, "Is there anything I could have done?" "Why didn’t I see something after we had the phone conversation several months earlier?" Why did others put so much pressure on Stan?" "Dear God what a waste of a wonderful life." I thought these things and more but I finally realized that Stan was responsible for his actions. Did he think about the hurt he would create from his actions? I don’t think so if he would have he wouldn’t have killed himself. I have also thought about what was he thinking and going through.

The more I have thought and prayed about it the more I am convinced that the terrible disease of Mental Illness must be treated and understood. I have come to the conclusion that the church is to blame to a small extent for not fully understanding and addressing the needs of the mentally ill. Much of Stan’s confusion and hurt was the result of religious confusion. Many may say this is why you shouldn’t mix religion with the treatment of mental illness. After working in the field for some years I couldn’t disagree more. I am absolutely confident; this is why you must address religious thoughts, convictions, and delusions in the treatment of this disease. To refuse to do so will only allow the confusion to remain in the life of the person struggling.

It has been a number of years now since Stan left us. I still have the pictures we took on the mountain on that Christmas day when he provided me encouragement. I have the Testament our family gave him one Christmas when we lived together in Kansas. I have the recorded music he wrote and played. I listen to it often, still amazed at the ability of this individual who lost hope. This friend who was the best slide guitar player I ever heard play. I wish I could tell Stan one more time that I loved him. I wish I could be there to cry with him, but I can’t. I can only hope that others that need to hear this message will read it, and ultimately, respond to those they love.

The following video addresses the issue of suicide, just click on the video to view. If the video doesn't appear, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7IK711hF9c


Here is another video from old friend Rick Cua, former bass player for the Outlaws, Don't Say Suicide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9wNDNQYwKM


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Merry Christmas From the Furches Family

While coming a little late, we are sending out our 2010 Year in Review, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holiday Update, and it was it a jam packed year for us.

Our year started off in an exciting way as we became grandparents. Aaliyah Monroe Elise Furches was born. Our Granddaughter is a beautiful little baby. She was born in February to our daughter in law, Emily. She was tiny like both Nathan and Emily but has tons of spirit, (in a good way.) She has been a joy as we keep her most every weekend and take her to church with us. It seems as if the year end will be a good time for us as we transition into being grandparents. Mary Jane is Nanny and I am PeePaw. Seems like we will have that experience again, late Spring, Early Summer as Marathana and Brett are also expecting their first child.

Mary Jane continues to teach at Derby Middle School and while there have been health issues some this year, she is back in full swing of things as of the Christmas season. A bout with a sinus infection, ear infection, flu, and cancer concerns all at the same time didn’t make things easy, but God is good, and she is in full health, doing just fine.

While the year saw many blessings, which I will mention later, we also had some difficulties. Among the chief of those was our moving from Clearwater as a result of the downward economy. We had a lease option on the purchase of our country home, which sat on 2 ½ acres, complete with a barn, pasture and more. The burm underground house was a house we loved but our landlord filed bankruptcy and as a result we ended up having to move. It showed us a great deal about the economy, banks and lending institutions as we tried to make an offer on the house, purchase it and so forth, and the banks, lending institutions and more wouldn’t even speak with us until the house went before the courts. As a result, after about a year of this, we finally decided to move. The house still sits vacant, overgrown, and now the property of the bank, and they will get substantially less for the house at auction than what we offered for it.

All isn’t bad though as we have relocated to Park City Kansas, just to the north of Wichita. In fact, while we live in Park City, it is strange that it is either a Park City or Wichita address. We ended up finding a little house just perfect for us. I could go into detail there but will say, nothing like living in a smaller community which is really making strides at being a community. We woke up one morning only to find out that our house sits right on the Park City Parade route. While Park City may be better known for the former serial killer BTK, Dennis Radar formerly living here, this little town is much more than that. Our new address for snail mail is 6441 N. Hydraulic, Park City, (or Wichita) KS 67219. If you are ever in the neighborhood come on down. We have a great Mexican restaurant within walking distance, a number of other good restaurants, including the local favorite, Cracker Barrel. Our new phone number is 1-316-807-8034 and The Virtual Pew and The Keystone Kid has a toll free number, it is 1-800-344-5013

I continue to pastor at Mosaic Church in Wichita. We have had some good, and bad problems occur which have made it difficult. We were renting space, which we had outgrown. While we had the option of going to 2 services, the furnace on the building never worked appropriately, finally went out all together and the landlord expected us to replace the furnace. We have since started meeting at Pawnee Avenue Church of God, and have made an offer on a location downtown which we will be relocating to later on. The new space will allow us to continue our outreach to the homeless as we will be one block away from the primary hangouts for the homeless, and the arts community as we will be downtown Wichita.

Mosaic has also been impacted by the economy. We have several people out of work, and others who are unable to contribute to the needs of the church financially. We continue to move forward though and many growing in discipleship. Currently there is no guarantee of salary for me from the church as we are at a vulnerable place, even though we have grown. We may likely always need to be seen as a missional church as we reach out to many who aren’t able to contribute. Once we relocate to our location, it is likely that we will experience many homeless and others coming to our church who will not be able to give. The funding we received from our organizational group ran out this year, and we are seeking support from various other individuals and churches. As to my needs, while it is still tough, God continues to come through and meet our needs, and thankfully, sometimes our wants.

This was an exciting year for Mary Jane and me as we also were able to take a vacation. We didn’t go far but went to Amarillo, Texas. Along the way we stopped in Oklahoma City and points of interest along the way including the Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere, Erick Oklahoma the home of Roger Miller and Sheb Wooley and many other wonderful locations like that. The highlight of the trip was the Palo Duro Canyon outside of Amarillo and getting to see, have dinner with a dear longtime friend, Mary Diane Goin and her husband George, whom I hadn’t seen in many years since living in Greenville, South Carolina. What a wonderful word of encouragement she had for the both of us. While in Amarillo we also made a point to attend church as we visited the Cal Farley Boy’s Ranch. If ever in the area, make sure you visit this wonderful ministry.

This was also a year to reconnect with other friends. We were truly blessed as long time friends visited us. David Loewen, a friend from Tabor College and his girlfriend, Sherry visited us. David attended church with us and shared some while there. He and I were actively involved in the jail ministry while in college.

We also had Guerry (Garvy) Harvell from Greenville visit and stay with us for a couple of weeks. Garvy helped our band as we played a few times out, and he also helped out at church while here. We took Garvy around to see some of Kansas and it was so good seeing this old band mate and dear brother.

One of the tough things this year, especially with the release of my book, The Keystone Kid was my web site www.thevirtualpew.com being hacked twice by hackers and finally put down. As a result I lost almost 3,000 email contacts of individuals who had requested to receive information from The Virtual Pew. That resulted in a serious loss of income for our family as many of the regular donations that came in from that web site were lost due to us not being able to send reminders and so forth. We are actively trying to rebuild that web site and get it back up and going. While much of the ministry and work of The Virtual Pew has continued, the hacking and loss of the web site had a negative impact in many regards.

There was good news though, the release of my book, The Keystone Kid did take place. The book is starting to pick up in sales via word of mouth. I am still working with the publishers at making sure some things are taken care of. The last month of the book has actually been quite positive in sales and I hear almost daily from people who have been touched and helped from the book. The book is available worldwide and via Barnes and Noble, Amazon and other retailers. It is published by Friesen Press and is distributed by Ingrim Distribution. You can find out more about it at www.thekeystonekid.com

Also pre production of the short, The Long Walk, a film by Titus Jackson and Tiroma Films is complete and the final steps are in place to finish the short based on the book. We will be using that short to raise funds for the feature film and are excited about the rough draft of the short. Rob Cassels from The Rob Cassels Band will score the final project, some correction, editing, and a little more will be done prior to the completion of the film. We have had some delay in this project due to Titus mother having cancer and he and his family dealing with that. Pray for Titus and his family during this tough time. His mother is a wonderful woman whom I had the honor of meeting during the filming of The Long Walk, she was a reminder to me of the importance of this story, and a ministry like The Virtual Pew, and a church like Mosaic.

In closing, this year, I have been reminded of the need of a Savior, the need for the Light of Christ in the darkness of this world. I continue to grow and mature in my faith, never giving up on what Christ has done for me, and our family. I have been blessed to have many friends there with me along the years, many who, like me are followers of Christ, others, who are not. While I could wish none of my friends more or better than Jesus, I am nonetheless grateful for all of my friends, many of which have supported and helped us over the years, I cannot say thank you enough.

This Christmas, I am reminded of the lessons of Dickens in his classic story, A Christmas Carol. Sometimes the scrooge isn’t the one who doesn’t observe Christmas; the scrooge is the one who doesn’t recognize the needs of those oppressed by society, those who for whatever reason have less. Many of faith talk about how as a society we shouldn’t expect the government to help the poor, because the church should be doing it, yet, many do nothing or very little. I can’t help but be reminded during this season, that Jesus was a redeemer of the poor. He told us to provide for, help and be with the poor and needy, the orphan and the widow. Every Christmas our family takes time to provide for the homeless, the poor, and poor children. While we are limited in what we can do, we are blessed that many come along and help. This Christmas, this New Year, I want to affirm that our family will continue that ministry, but we challenge all of those receiving this to also do what they can, to not be a scrooge, but to share in the love of our fellow human beings by doing and being all that we be.

From our household, we sincerely say thank you for your friendship, and we truly do wish you and yours, the best Christmas, and Holiday Season possible. We love because Jesus loves us, and loving others in return is a reflection of the love we believe Christ would have each of us live out, and besides, it brings so much more joy and is easier to do than hating.

Love to all and Merry Christmas,

Mike and Mary Jane Furches
Matthew 25:31-46

The following video is a link to the video using some of the quotes that has started coming in on the book. It has been a blessing getting to meet people as well as hear their own stories of how the book has helped them in their recovery. God is good, just click on the video to see some of the quotes, if the video doesn't appear, just click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8BJOXyHrpA


Here is a video of the Christmas Santa Homeless project we do each year. This year we were blessed to have people across the nation participate. Just as above, if the video appears, just click on it, if it doesn't, simply click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGNKN2EpKNE


Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Wichita, the Church in Wichita Kansas where Mike is the pastor.

Click Here to Go to The Virtual Pew Daily Verse and Read The Bible in a Year Passages

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

You can also Help The Virtual Pew by shopping on our web site or at Amazon, click here to shop at Amazon and help The Virtual Pew, it won't cost you anything extra, but we get a small percentage of the purchase.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to visit and join the new group The Virtual Pew, at MySpace. Become a part of a different kind of Christian group, check out the page for more information,all welcome, including those who are not followers of Jesus.

Click to visit the Virtual Pew Website and become a part of that ministry.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Click to visit Mary Jane Furches' new MySpace Page

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
P.O. Box 17731
Wichita, KS 67217

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Unprofessional Attitudes Hurt Bands & Venues

Pleae note, there will be photographs of bands we do support in the Wichita area on this posting. Just because we don't have a photo posted, don't mean we don't support you. But some of the bands we have had bad experiences with, are not posted. The band photographs are hyperlinked and you can click on the photo to visit their page and listen to their music. You will also see additional hyperlinks in the article which I would encourage you to visit.

I have wanted to write this for some time, and have hesitated due to not wanting to offend or hurt people, but it is time something was said.

I want to be careful how this comes across as it is going to appear to be negative in some ways. That is not my desire; it is my desire that at some point people would learn, especially some of the bands and some of the venues in this local. I realize that people around the country are also reading this so if the shoe fits for your community, add your two cents.

Let me preface by stating that while I am now a pastor, speaker, and writer, I spent a great deal of time early in my life in promotions, marketing and management. In 1988 I had according to Performance Magazine, the Top New Agency in America, and Poll-Star Magazine had us listed as one of the top 10 agencies in America. I had the top grossing band in America in theaters 2,500 and under, Blue Oyster Cult was #2 and The Judd’s was #3 according to Performance Magazine. I also had 3 of the top 10 shows in America in clubs 800 and under, all according to Performance Magazine. I say this to make a point, I did a pretty good job in my field, and I knew the industry and business, especially as a musician, and manager. I was blessed to work with some really good bands, but I also realize that a lot of my work led to those associations.

Now let me address something that has bothered me lately as I have experienced first hand some issues with the Wichita Music Scene. While there are some wonderful bands in the area which I will work with any day, any time, any moment, there are others who have a lot to learn. As a promoter now, (as well as a musician and magician) I am shocked that some local bands have venues to play. I say this because it is not unusual to have local bands cancel, even at the last moment prior to a concert or event.

It is time bands learned to respect the promoting agency booking them in, and it is time, agencies and venues stood together to share with each other which bands are and are not, professional. I have had bands cancel within 2 hours of a show, one band who walked out of a show without telling me (after they arrived at 8:15 for a 8 PM show and wanted us to set up around their needs as opposed to the band which was booked as the headline act), and bands not even show up at shows that have been booked without ever even making a phone call. Let me make it clear, these are not the actions of bands that will “make it” in this industry. In the past I have played quite a few locations as a musician and worked as a manager, Athens Georgia, Greenville/Spartanburg South Carolina, Tulsa Oklahoma, Boston Mass, New York, Chicago and others. In none of these locations would a band do this but one time, and at that point, no reputable promoter or venue in the community would book that band again because those venues interact and let each other know what to expect, or possibly expect Simply put, they share experiences. Only in Wichita have I seen these types of actions occur, where a band can do these types of things, and “get by with it.” It is time for these types of things to stop. For those in the Wichita, or Kansas Markets, you want to know about my experiences with a particular band, fine, ask me and I will tell you exactly what I experienced.

Here is the problem with these actions, venues, even small ones, have time and money invested. Sometimes at Mosaic, we have great crowds, sometimes we don’t, but the promotions are the same. Let me explain.

I book a band, and the conditions of the booking are almost always the same. We work on an 80 / 20% split for anything over $200. The headline band gets 80%, Mosaic gets 20%. All bands are allowed to keep 100% of concession sales. I know this may sound strange to some, but there are many venues that charge a percentage for band concession sales. Our shows are all a recommended donation of $5. I always, repeat, always, personally contribute to the bands that are playing. We also do all of the free promo we can, including the local papers, and press releases to radio and television stations. Sometimes we get those aired, or played, sometimes not. Now another point of clarification; for bands we book, we also feed them, and provide drinks for them. I also pay a publicist 10% of all income from shows, including the shows where we get less than $200. On those shows I give the publicist 10% and the band gets 100% of anything under $200, at this point you can see that we are losing twice. That is okay though, we enjoy the opportunity to provide music opportunities to the bands, and we consider this a “ministry” so even for a small church that also provides various forms of entertainment, that gets by month to month, this is something we value and want to provide the community. For those having issue with a church doing this, most all shows we book in, (over 95%) of them, are booked in as non religious shows and I have no idea where the musician is coming from spiritually. Yet, we still do it, even though an expense to us.

Now let’s not stop there regarding our expenses, we print posters, around 100, flyers, around 200. When you figure in the cost of this, the time involved in promoting at various locations including MySpace, Facebook, and RokICT among others, can you see why I would get upset over the actions of some bands?

Back in the day when I was working with Steppenwolf, Marshall Tucker, Kansas, and Nantucket among others, Steve Morse of the Dixie Dregs started calling me Twiggs Jr. This was a unique compliment coming from Steve, especially with the closeness he had with Twiggs Lyndon. It is a part of that attitude that I still have which has motivated me to write this. Enough is enough, and some bands need to grow up, and some venues need to “band” together to protect our expenses and efforts. I am asking; if you as a venue have a bad experience, let me know, at that point, Mosaic won’t allow that band to play at our facility. You want to know about a band that has played our venue, ask me. I’m not talking about a bad night, or a new band coming out, I’m talking about a band that has little or no respect for the venue which is hosting them or isn’t professional.

I have even heard some bands bad mouth other bands in the area, again, enough is enough. One of the bands I have heard several people mention is one of the most professional bands I have worked with. I guess that is the problem, that band is professional. That band and others, who are professional, are getting bad mouthed around town by other bands, to those unprofessional bands that would do this, shame on you. You have no idea how close I am at this point now in mentioning names of some of those bands who have done this. Some of this comes from bands who have cancelled and walked out of shows.

While there are rare reasons for cancellations, and especially late cancellations (very rare), those reasons still costs the venue money. “Sorry” can only go so far, but when sorry costs me in the neighborhood of $50 - $100 in actual cash, (comes out of my pocket, not Mosaic) or 15 – 20 hours of my time, hearing “sorry” is a hard word to swallow. Again, there are rare appropriate situations. I had a recent act have a serious illness in the family recently, I understand that. I also understand though, there is still a loss, even for this.

I now have for Mosaic, and would encourage venues to draw up cancellation contracts, if a band for any reason cancels a show in an inappropriate time frame, then that venue will be paid for their time and expenses. The venue and promoter have provided free publicity; bands should have to pay for those services, expenses, and time. I believe in logical argument, what logic would dictate that the promoter or venue should have to eat these costs?

Now let me be clear, there are many wonderful and professional bands in this community. There are also those that need to grow up. If a band is going to take on the professional act of playing, asking people to contribute money for their service or product, then they need to act professional.

In the future, I plan on organizing workshops to assist bands in becoming more professional. I also plan on trying to organize venues around town to work at protecting our investments and reputation. I firmly believe that until we do this, then the bottom line is that Wichita will not get the overall respect within the industry that will help both bands and venues. If our reputation improves, then bands get better gigs, larger audiences, more money, and potential music deals. Then venues get better draws and make larger profits. In both of these scenarios, the fans and audiences win.

I realize some will take this wrong, it is not my intent, there are some who will say negative things, or even say, forget playing at Mosaic, that is fine, with those attitudes we would really rather have more professional bands or acts I am tired of having to explain to fans why a band or act never showed, or why one walks out because they threw a pitty party about not playing when they wanted after showing up late for a concert. It is my desire to frankly, not loose any more money than I have to, but also see some great talent do more than be a hit on their block. Every one of the bands I have had a bad experience with is wonderful musicians, whose music I liked, otherwise I would have never booked them. There are some things to learn though, and just as a band should protect their reputation, they need to realize, that without venues to play or exhibit their talents, they will be limited as to the places they can play. As a musician, I can’t imagine not wanting to have my music heard. That place would be an awfully selfish place to be, but then again, I guess the attitude of being selfish is one of the things I am addressing here.

For those in the music industry, those who read this, either local to Wichita or nationally who will be reading this; what say you?

The following is a video of one of the bands that we support that has played Mosaic, in fact our house band and I enjoy it for an obvious reason, again, a rather professional band at that. Just click on the video, if the video don't appear, click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DE4HpGV-_U


Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Click here to visit Mosaic Wichita, the Church in Wichita Kansas where Mike is the pastor.

Click Here to Go to The Virtual Pew Daily Verse and Read The Bible in a Year Passages

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to visit and join the new group The Virtual Pew, at MySpace. Become a part of a different kind of Christian group, check out the page for more information,all welcome, including those who are not followers of Jesus.

Click to visit the Virtual Pew Website and become a part of that ministry.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Click to visit Mary Jane Furches' new MySpace Page

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
P.O. Box 17731
Wichita, KS 67217

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

http://www.furches.org/donations/index.html

The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

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To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Phone Number to Call During The Virtual Pew Live Show, (Please never call prior to the start of the show) - (646) 716-8587

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My Last Conversation With My Mom

This morning at 6:46 AM I likely got to speak to my mother for the last time. I received the call from my sister that my mother likely wasn’t going to make it through the day. I am typing as I prepare to leave this morning to go back to Upper East Tennessee alone. My story with my mother is long and complicated, I said to her though that I loved her, and that for her to not try to hold on for me to get to Tennessee. I told her that I would see her in Heaven. This was important for her to hear according to the Hospice nurse that handed me the phone. I don’t think my mother will be alive by the time I leave around noon today, and take the approximate 20 hour drive alone.

Ministry is hard, harder than many realize. I know my wife sent out a request in the last week or so to help with funds. It really kind of sucks to be honest, no money came in, I am leaving this morning, and the truth is, right now I don’t have the money to get home. I have enough to get there hoping there are no emergencies along the way. I realize times are tough, because they are tough on our family and this ministry. It just seems like things pour all at once instead in bearable moments. Our landlord who we were leasing our home with an option to buy just filed bankruptcy, go figure that one, then there are additional strains such as my son has a court case next week and we have been trying to reach him to detail the information to my mom and we haven’t gotten a return call, don’t even know if he has gotten the message. Then my doctors office withholds medication I need because I have to have some testing done which I haven’t been notified about, then to top everything off, I took our little wiener dog in yesterday to the humane society because he has killed some chickens, and has had an attitude, they inform us they can only put him down as opposed to giving him a chance. Yep, life sucks sometimes.

I don’t write this to complain, I write this to say there is hope. I know that, hopefully you know that. While I don’t know how I will get home, I know that God will work away and his will, will be done. I find joy in knowing that my mother in her later years made a real decision for Christ, a miracle I didn’t expect. My wife will stay at home to go to the trial with my son, and her recent surgery would have made the drive very hard on her, but things are the way they are. I’ll be honest, a little help getting home, covering the costs would be great, I just spent $125 I don’t have to get the car ready for the trip this morning. I will be mooching on people while there and am praying and hoping the funds come in while I am there to somehow be able to get home. I am praying for no tragedy or difficulty along the way, I am praying that my mom will pass peacefully and that today, she will enter the arms of a Christ who can forgive all sin, including the sins of a mom who had a hard time being a mom.

I will have The Virtual Pew phone with me, would love to talk as I can, the number is 316-258-3952. I am grateful for a lot of things, most of all a Savior who still provides, secondly a family that loves, and thirdly a ministry and group of friends who understand.

BTW, it is likely The Virtual Pew message boards and postings will be delayed for a few days, I hope you all understand.

It Isn't Always About Winning

Johnson shoots a twenty footer at the buzzer against the defender Perez, NET, NOTHING BUT NET, Ravens win by one at the buzzer the crowd goes wild. Johnson’s teammates swarm to him and pile on in joyous victory.

Williams is on the bottom, trailing by 1. Wearing the red singlet the 103 pound wrestler is twisting to the left, twisting to the right. He hits a sit out but Smith is controlling the hips with the spiral ride. Williams quickly bases up, constantly moving. Williams hits a switch to his sweet side, 3 seconds left. Williams hits a hip heist on the switch to quickly turning on his shoulder to get behind Smith, the official quickly shows 2 fingers as time expires, WILLIAMS WINS STATE, WILLIAMS WINS STATE!!!

This time of the year has moments like the above occurring all across the country. I have been honored to be in the corners of some of those athletes coaching them. I have also had the honor of being in the center of the wrestling mat for others, working as an official. What an experience, what a moment for any athlete, parent, coach and fan to experience. While many assume that March Madness is all about basketball, it isn’t, wrestling is also a part of March Madness and I have been honored to enjoy both sports during this maddening time of year.

I grew up playing football and basketball, I loved, and in fact still do love both of those sports, but it is a time of year that I have learned to enjoy another sport, wrestling. My son is a decent wrestler in fact he didn’t lose a state championship he wrestled in from the sixth grade through high school. He missed out on two state tournaments in high school but did win two high school state tournaments, and has won state in Freestyle and Greco since a young man. He just won his second high school state championship and will be going for his 20th, and 21st state championship this summer as he enters into the Freestyle Greco season. The number of state championships since 6th grade includes Freestyle, Greco, Kids, and High School State Championships, some in the same year. That is a rather remarkable accomplishment. Some would think those state championships; those moments are the most memorable events for me in sports as a competitor, coach, or dad. I have to admit, they are memorable, this last years state championship was memorable because of what it meant for him coming of the last 2 years, two years ago as a Sophomore he was 27-1 but did not get to wrestle in the Regional or State Tournament. Last year, while he did get to wrestle Freestyle and Greco, he did not get to wrestle high school due to mistakes on his part. But, while all of this is memorable, the most memorable moments do not always come to and or for, the champion.

I don’t recall the year but I was in the corner of Daniel Smith. Daniel was a junior at Derby High School at The Kansas Kids State Tournament in Topeka Kansas. The Kansas Kids Tournament has wrestlers from the ages of 7 up through the age of 17. These wrestlers all fall in the age divisions from 8 and under to 16 and under. Daniel had one year of high school left and had never placed on any level of a state tournament. My son was wrestling on another mat but I had decided that I had an obligation to the team, not just my son. I think it was the quarter finals and the winners of each match were guaranteed of placing at state. They weren’t guaranteed of winning state, just placing. Daniel knew he had an uphill battle. He was facing a tough kid and he pretty much knew he wasn’t going to win state, there was the hope, but he also had the knowledge that to win state, he would need a few breaks, and the better wrestlers in the division would need to falter along the way.

Prior to the start of the quarter final match I was getting Daniel warmed up, helping him focus, helping him get ready for the next, all important, stressful match. Daniel came to me, “Coach Furches,” he said, “would you pray with me before the start of the match.” “Sure Daniel,” I replied with some level of surprise.

To be totally honest, I don’t really recall what we prayed for. I know it wasn’t to win, I don’t pray to win in any situation, although I have prayed that it would be nice to win but I would prefer that God protect and that God enable the best effort, protect the athletes and that in all things, win or lose, God be glorified. I was somewhat pleased in the prayer; I remember that, because Daniel didn’t just ask me to pray, he prayed as well. This is something I have had the honor of experiencing in the past, which is having numerous athletes asking me to pray with them prior to a match. I reminded a friend last week, there is no greater honor than going before the creator of the universe and speaking to him regarding an important moment in the life of a young athlete. Again, never praying to win, that would be foolish and stupid, but praying to give thanks, both in victory and defeat, now that is something to celebrate.
The prayer was over, Daniel was called to the wrestling mat, I still recall the 10 or so mats on the floor. Daniel’s mat was in one of the far corners of the Expo Center. Gary, another coach with Derby and I went to the corner and to be frank, Daniel was likely out classed in that particular match by looking at the records and experience of the wrestlers before stepping on the mat. Daniel had something though, he had something you can’t coach, he had heart, and he had desire. I will, for long as I live, cherish the moment when Daniel ran to the corner after his close victory, jumping into my arms as he told me, with tears in his eyes, “I’m going to place at State! I’m going to place at State!”

Daniel wasn’t excited about winning state; in fact, he would go on to get beat later in the semi final round. I don’t even recall what he ended up placing at state that year, just that he did place at state and that for him, a major accomplishment was obtained. I pray that God never lets me forget of the importance of this act in Daniel’s life. To have been there, and experienced it with him was nothing short of a major honor. In fact, that moment was more satisfying for me than my son going on to win state that particular year. Nathan had won state before, but I was reminded about something else.

Over the years now I have spoken to Daniel about this many times. It was while speaking to a friend, Jerry today that I was reminded of this story as he told me about a young man wanting to go to whatever tournament that weekend that Coach Dale was going to. As a coach, as an athlete, you don’t forget those moments, if you do, you likely shouldn’t be competing, you likely shouldn’t be coaching. To be there, and to have an impact on a young athlete is an honor that I hope I never forget about when I am coaching or involving myself in the life of a young athlete.

We shouldn’t forget those who are in our corner, those who have helped us along the way. Just yesterday I requested prayer for my family and my son. A lot has gone on since then, but I have heard from people all over America reminding me of their willingness and their willingness of praying for us. Things aren’t perfect as of today, but they are better, God gives peace, but his intervention is still needed. Today, I am grateful for those who have been in my corner, in the corner of my family. We needed you and you have responded, we still need you and we know that you will continue to respond. I know this ministry sometimes requests money as this is my vocation, but I will reiterate, the friendships, the knowledge of knowing we have helped others, and more importantly the prayers are by far, more important than many will ever realize.

As athletes get ready for their respective events, remember those in the corner to coach and help, your practice partner, teammate who sits the bench never getting game or match time, but is at practice busting their butt to make you better. The wrestlers who have been beaten out of state, or have no chance of winning, but are still in the practice room helping you prepare. Your teammate, your practice partner should joy as much in your accomplishments as you because they helped get you there. We talk about lessons in sport that can be carried on in life, but this is one that is easy to forget, unless you have been there to experience a young man, running with tears in his eyes to jump into your arms overjoyed with the knowledge that he has accomplished something. Remember, the accomplishments we celebrate may be different, for some it involves scoring a point or two, maybe getting a steal, it may be just qualifying for state. I will remind, the victory goes to those who overcome, but in that victory there are many along the way that made it possible, the truth is, the victory is just as much for them as it is the one who gets the medal or trophy in the end of the day, because without those helping out, the likelihood of the award would never occur.

Congrats to those who have competed and given their best. Not all can win, but all can try, and in that we should look for victory, we should look for celebration. In that effort, we insure others continue their involvement, and then, we can rest assured that we have taught life lessons that carry on beyond the field of competition.

Now as a closing note and point of clarification. Neither should we ever take anything away from those who are victorious. They have worked hard to earn what they have earned, but in the end, it isn’t always those moments that we have the best memories of. Sometimes it is the ordinary becoming extraordinary, or the weak finding ways to become strong, and sometimes in the obtaining of a small goal. It is in those moments of helping one accomplish the seemingly difficult and impossible, no matter on what level, that we can also find reason to celebrate. Let us all, Celebrate!

Here is a video that hopefully reminds us all of the sacrifices and the champions that help bring honor to us all. Just double click on the video, if the video don't appear, click on the following link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEU9yk-73zg



Click Here to Go to The Virtual Pew Daily Verse and Read The Bible in a Year Passages

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to visit and join the new group The Virtual Pew, at MySpace. Become a part of a different kind of Christian group, check out the page for more information,all welcome, including those who are not followers of Jesus.

Click to visit the Virtual Pew Website and become a part of that ministry.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Click to visit Mary Jane Furches' new MySpace Page

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
P.O. Box 17731
Wichita, KS 67217

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

http://www.furches.org/donations/index.html

The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Phone Number to Call During The Virtual Pew Live Show, (Please never call prior to the start of the show) - (646) 716-8587

Phone Number to Call During The HJ Live Show, (Please never call prior to the start of the show) - (646) 716-8853

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed -http://www.blogtalkradio.com/feeds/thevirtualpew

To Subscribe to HJ Live Live Feed –http://www.blogtalkradio.com/feeds/hollywoodjesus