I have been helping others for over 40 years now, hard to
believe for some but true. It all started as a child. I had an uncle who lived
with my Grandmother and Grandfather.
They were also helping raise me. Aaron was injured while in the Army in Germany.
He was thrown off a train for flirting with a
girl, he became blind and obtained a Traumatic Brain Injury. He later developed
what I am confident was schizophrenic tendencies. Now I believe my grandmother
did too much for Aaron, there were little things I felt he could do for himself
and ultimately he did. One can read about some of that in my book
The Keystone Kid. Ultimately there were things he learned from me, like how to tell how much
money he had, despite being blind, and what the date was. There were things we
could do to improve his memory issues. This is where it started for me, as a
child with the desire to help others help themselves which has continued until this day.
Over all of those years there were many mistakes I made, I
have been far from perfect, some will even say I have become callused and at
times, they may even say, I don't care.
Nothing could be further from the truth but until one has had people they
are helping die because not everyone listened to the advice you gave or until
you have been robbed or had to file a restraining order against someone who has
threatened your life, you just may not know. Yet despite the difficulties, the
threats on our lives, and having precious family items stolen, we
continue.
There are things to learn about helping others, one thing to
take into consideration is are you really helping, or are you helping them stay
in their condition. What is easily debatable is not helping anyone except
possibly yourself with good feelings of doing good, however, if not doing good,
and you are helping someone stay in their situation, not improving their lives,
are you really helping? While I am confident that God has called some to the
first line of ministry, I have to wonder, where are those ministries that help
people get on their feet and stay there? The bible talks about hope, there is the
contribution to hopes and dreams, gifts, and talents that is addressed. While
there are those that are called to the 1st step of helping, what is being done to
help those you are helping get beyond their situation? Believe me, I am aware
of the need of these ministries but I have to ask, what is more important to
continually give fish, or to teach one to fish?
I am honored to say, I can point to many individuals, likely hundreds
who were dependent on the system, the government, the survive by any means necessary
crowd. I can also say there are hundreds who now live in their own homes, have
jobs, have found careers, and for many others, maybe they didn't get to the
place of total independence but they got to the place where they will tell you they
are contributing to the lives of others and improving our world. I like to
reference the Bible because that is my measuring stick, so here goes, can you
point to fruit in your work? The Bible
is clear, you will tell them by their fruit! That said, fruit is a viable item,
it comes about through the pruning process of a tree, the upkeep of a tree, the
tree is an incredible creation, but fruit just doesn't happen. There is also
the curse of the fig tree, anyone remember that story? Might be worth reading
in Matthew 21.
Here are a few things I have learned from my mistakes. First
the lesson of Josh. Josh was a friend I invested a lot of time with
over the course of 3 years. I invited him to come hear me speak once and he
did. While there I pointed him out as an example of how to do something in
regards to reaching others. While it wasn't intended, I had turned him from an
individual to a project where it appeared it was more important to make myself
look good than to treat him like a human being. It was a SERIOUS MISTAKE! I
really did love him, but I put my desires above his feelings. That incident
cost me years of investment as a friend and no matter how much I tried to mend
fences with Josh, it still hasn't happened.
Now I am not saying this to be negative towards any group or
person, I am saying it to illustrate a lesson I learned from my mistake. The
example of Josh is one of the reasons I seldom take photos of me and the
homeless. I don't want them to think I am taking advantage of them. A few years
ago I used a photo that I pulled off of Google via searching "public
domain homeless" for The Virtual Pew, what ensued was a nightmare.
I used the photo in an article, even though I
did that google, it was apparently owned by someone who had not made it public
domain. He was taking photos of the homeless and profiting off them, while at the
same time not giving the homeless anything for those photos. I ended up having
to make a donation to a library, a homeless program, and some other costs
involved.
There is that example but also how for years while working
in the music business, I seldom if ever took any photos with any of the music
stars I worked with and there were many of them. I hardly ever did it because I
thought it demeaned my relationship with them. Now, I don't quite feel that
way, it possible and appropriate at times to take the photos, but I am careful,
seek permission, I try to always ask them I try to make sure it is okay. I won't use
any person as a project, I want to make sure they know I am a friend and with
past experiences, I have learned that sometimes, even 2 or 3 years isn't enough
time to garnish that trust.
Another lesson I have learned is the Show Me Principal. For those that don't
know, Missouri
is known as "The Show Me State." Why is this important? I have
learned to trust the call from God, to believe in him, and to also be thankful
that sometimes he uses people to follow through with the things they have
promised. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, we just finished serving a home
style Thanksgiving meal with various homeless people, friends, and family. Once
again, a local organization who promised us things, at least 3 if not 4 times
now, has once again, not followed through on what they promised. After the
first let down a couple of years ago I learned, it is important to have a back-up
and from here on out that so called ministries and organizations will have to show
me and I just won't believe on blind faith that they will follow through with what they have promised. The
promise of something is a heck of a lot different than delivering that
something. I follow a faith practice where our yes is to be yes, and our no is
supposed to be no. I firmly believe that broken promises aren't to me, they are
to those being ministered to. I have learned not to believe those who
don't keep their promises, I don't count on them. It burdens me to see other
individuals, other ministries get sucked into their lies and or self promotion
desires of giving to these groups, why? Simple see the Josh above, where we make
people projects instead of seeing them real people is dangerous. It also discredits
the value system that Jesus of Nazareth would have us follow, to keep our word, to be people of truth, beyond that, it
takes away needed resources from ministries that really care.
The next thing I will conclude with. While there is more I will say, this is
what I call The Andre Crouch principle where; "Jesus is the answer for the
world today, above him there's no other, for Jesus is the way." Now this will
offend some but it is what I believe. I believe the Bible means exactly what it
says when it says the following, "What does it profit anyone to gain the
whole world and lose their soul?" "There is no other name under
Heaven where anyone can be saved (not just a spiritual salvation) other than
the name of Jesus." It can be summated in many places through the Bible.
A huge critical part of sharing that belief is in the installation
and importance of hope that we are commanded to practice including these verses:
Romans 5:2-5 ~ 2 Christ has also introduced us to God’s
undeserved kindness on which we take our stand. So we are happy, as we look
forward to sharing in the glory of God. 3 But that’s not all! We gladly suffer,
because we know that suffering helps us to endure. 4 And endurance builds
character, which gives us a hope 5 that will never disappoint us. All of this
happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his
love.
1 Corinthians 15:19 If our hope in Christ is good only for
this life, we are worse off than anyone else.
Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in former days was
written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the
encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Romans 15:13 May the
God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power
of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
There are also quotes that help illustrate some of the
lessons I have learned on hope:
“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the
traveler than the road built in despair...” ― Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Fall
of Atlantis
“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the
courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can
spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was
led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are
strong enough to survive it.” ― J.D. Stroube, Caged by Damnation
Here is a concern I have, it is as if many of those in
ministry don't see the potential in the people they are helping in the same way
God does. We think it is okay to help keep them in their poverty, whether spiritual or literal, to do little or nothing
to help them beyond their situation. The work of the Gospel is hard, we like to
make it easy, yet, Jesus tells us to take up our cross daily, when he knew very
well what the cross implied. There is old adage, God doesn't make junk. This
doesn't imply that wealth is a measure of success, but neither does it allow for the
dismissal of ones dreams, not matter how good, or how bad their situation. We
should be about helping people, helping them stay in their problem is not
helping them. I have seen so much effort to keep people where they are at,
while giving every excuse why they are not helping them get back on their feet
and accomplish their dreams. While there are those called to serve people where
they are at, whether they be homeless, employed, or whatever. I believe any
ministry should be at
least working with others who are helping people obtain their dreams, helping them
rediscover a sustainable life as much as possible, moving towards
independence. The Bible is clear on this expectation.
There is another question we have to ask, is the ministry
work we do for ourselves or for those we are called to serve? If for ourselves
it is easy to not do more, it is easy to allow those we are trying to help stay in their situation. I have said for years; if donating food to a food
drive, don't donate things you won't eat, if you don't eat out of dented cans,
don't give dented cans. On the flip side, when we help others, if we aren't
willing to live in their situation, don't do things that help them stay in
their situation. I was homeless for almost 2 1/2 years, living and staying
wherever I could find, including a YMCA transient center and I'll be honest, I
didn't like it! I like my situation far better now than then. Why would I help
someone stay in a situation I didn't like? There is an old saying, we need to
walk a mile in someone else's shoes before we can understand them.
I recently wrote about the starfish parable where you take a
starfish, throw it back in the ocean and while the beach is cluttered with tons
of starfish, someone questions what you are doing and saying it doesn't make a
difference, you throw a starfish back and say, it makes a difference for that
one. Here is my concern, are we doing ministry where we throw the starfish back
and it never makes it to the ocean? If so, then we are doing more harm than
good because of the damage of the impact to the starfish and the potential to
offer false hope as opposed to real hope. Think about it.
Now some may think this is only an effort to raise awareness or money for what
we do through The Virtual Pew and Mosaic, let me make clear, NOPE! NOT! If
someone supports our work, fine, it's GOOD, we will accept it, but my hope and my
prayer is that people will contemplate this not for the purpose of giving money
but instead for the way WE do ministry, now that would be,
GREAT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyITjtiUUc
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predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can
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