Whose Real Anymore?
Over the years I’ve been asked more times than I can count to help others, and
most of the time, when able, I have gladly done so. I think my life is a record
of serving others, and I have done my best to be a person of integrity. I think
much of that came about from the times I realized I had failed in so many ways
and realized it is better in life to be honest than to try and impress others
in whatever way we do so. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t speak truth, for
example, the integrity of one’s intent and the purpose within their heart is of
value. It is okay to speak truth for example, I think my band Pastor Mike and
the Demon Slayer Blues Band is a good band that works hard and that we are as
solid as a basic three piece as there is around with a very solid drummer, a very
good guitar player and I think I am quite competent on the bass guitar. Is that bragging? No, I don’t think so, I think it is a
statement of reality and fact. Thankfully that statement has been backed up by
many world class musicians from around the world and others who have seen us
live. That brings me to my next point though, what about when others think
wrong of you or speak ill of you, often behind your back?
Years ago I wanted to rebel and react against some lies that were being said
about me. I was referred to the book How
to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnagie. It was one of the best books on relationship and
conflict that I have ever read. You don’t win friends by the arguing, back
biting and so forth, you find ways to speak good of even your enemies. Above
all though, you speak truth. While that seems to be contradictory there are
ways to do both. It boils down to trying to find the positive about others and
speak on those things. Unfortunately, even when doing so, others don’t always
receive it and if they have something against you, they will never be able to
speak positively of you. At that point after effort has been made, the problem
is on them, not you. That doesn’t make it easy, truth is, it hurts at times,
but it is important to maintain integrity and then be at peace with the
decisions you have made and the things you have said. God is fully capable
through His Holy Spirit to convict others of where they have been wrong. He is
also capable of letting others see the truth of the situation.
Does all this mean that we allow others to go on speaking ill of us, doing us wrong, and at times, yes even using us? I think the answer to that is complicated. First, we can’t control what others say, I have been lied about so many times it is impossible to recall every situation. It is like Larry Norman said in one of his songs, “People talk about my name, they’re driving me insane, but here I am, talking about Jesus just the same.” For many, it is clear I was a friend for them when they could use me to help them, or someone else, basically any time I made them look good, but after the fact or completion of the task, despite the promises, and what I know to be lies at times, the person changes, never honoring their commitments and or keeping their word. It is as my Paps used to tell me, “If a man (or woman) aint got their word, they aint got nothing.” Unfortunately, that aspect of keeping one’s word, being honest, is a rarity for many in this world. In those situations, I tend to remember as I am called to love but, I am not called to be a fool. Unfortunately, there are those who have not kept their word, lied to me and at that point, I recall the old Aesop’s Fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I don’t listen and I choose to spend my time and efforts helping those who appreciate it and are honest with me.
Many will say the above response is not Biblical, but I disagree, I also challenge that it does little good to be spending time helping those who aren’t appreciative and do not maintain honesty. If they can’t be honest about such things, how do we know if they are honest about the things they are telling us? My late wife, and those that know me best tell me that one of my problems is that I am brutally honest. Ask me what I think, and I will tell you, not to be mean, but because I never felt that lies benefited anyone.
I am not the only one that has been hurt, lied to, and used by others, many of us have, often at the hands of those who call themselves good. It becomes clear after awhile that some will be friends if we can be of benefit to them, which is not a real friend. Are we to love our neighbors and others? Yes, we are but remember, we are to do it as, “we do ourselves.” We must be honest to ourselves and respect the time, and efforts we make as there are limitations to what we do, so, what we do, we need to do as perfectly and honorably as possible.
I suspect that for myself, and yes, many of you, that
there will be those who will continue to try and use us and take advantage of
us. When they do, realize, we can still love them, but that doesn’t mean that
we continue to be around them and allow ourselves to be used. We should not put
ourselves in situations where we knowingly know we are going to be hurt, that
is a part of caring for ourselves to the point where we ca help and care for
others who will need us and appreciate us.
Think about it.
Be a people of integrity, let your yes be a yes and a no
be a no, but don’t get so caught up in those who would deceive us and hurt us
that we can’t be no earthly good to those who need us. When deceit is taking place, (especially
against the truth of Jesus) don’t entertain it, run from it. That is what God
has called us to, to flee even the appearance of evil, when that evil clearly
goes against or attacks the concepts of God, it is time to flee. The value of
that is not only valuable for Christians who are being deceived with untruth,
even attacking the very cause of Christ, it is wise for the nonbeliever as
well. There is a difference between misguided effort and efforts that lies,
cheats, and steals from the truth, in the Bible the author of that is Satan,
not God.
For going on some thirty years now I have done the work of The Virtual Pew, in part planting seeds but another huge part is getting to know people and being called by many Pastor Mike by my involvement in social media. From engaging in life, I have seen the impact of my work on people on the fringes all over the world. I have run homeless programs, housed homeless people worked with drug addicts, prostitutes and much more. All while giving back my salary, and for the last 8+ years not taking a salary. You can help tremendously by supporting the work, not just from the movie reviews but the work that goes along side that in the development of relationships of helping save lives and give purpose to the lives of others. I appreciate your consideration in this calling that I have seen and know God uses.
If willing to help, it is greatly appreciated. I ask you, do not write checks or make contributions to me. All contributions should be made either to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic. The Virtual Pew is a Religious Organization and Mosaic is a 501-C3 nonprofit.
If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.
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Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
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If desiring more information about this ministry or the testimonials from others, please don’t hesitate to ask. I really am dependent on others to support this missional ministry to keep it going. I have nothing left to give as I’ve depleted, and I’m not complaining, my savings and retirement accounts, now, it really is dependent on you to allow yourself to be used by God to help us out.
I am more than willing to share at your church, business and so forth. I have shared across America as to the work God has done and done for me. I love those opportunities.
Blessings and thank you,
Mike Furches
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