The Virtual Pew Daily: August 2021

Friday, August 27, 2021

That Roller Coaster Called Life

One of the things I often say, is life is like a rollercoaster. Few things have been as true as the last 24 – 48 hours. One of the guys who gave my band Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band our first break was Kenny Ballinger. Kenny was a local concert promoter and ran two venues, The Elbow Room and Barleycorn’s. The night before last as of this writing he was involved in a hit and run accident where he was killed. He was riding his motorcycle and the driver of a SUV left the scene. Kenny was always upfront with me and while running and cooperating with other venues had promised me, he would always try to work us in at The Elbow Room when we needed a show. To say the least, I’m still in a state of shock and after a few friends, at no fault of their own have been either killed or seriously hurt in motorcycle accidents, I as of today put my motorcycle up for sale. I have a reason to keep on living which gets me to the other end of the rollercoaster.

As many likely know I am engaged to be married to the beautiful Sheila T. Mitchell. I have been so blessed to have her in my life due to such tragedy over the years. It is easy to be at a place of giving up with as much tragedy in life as there has at times seemed to have been. Frankly, I was ready to give up, being okay with dying, now, I want to live. Well today Sheila sent me some things regarding the application of our marriage license. As I was reading the information, she sent me I read a simple name, Sheila Tracey Mitchell Furches! I must tell you, reading that name caused a rush of emotions that literally had tears streaming down my face. I was reminded once again at the love and grace of God.

Yesterday I was talking to a local disc jockey on a popular radio station. While we were friends on Facebook I had never to much recollection had contact with her. Yet as we spoke, she brought me to tears as she told me how she had followed mine and Mary Jane’s (my late wife) journey with her pancreatic cancer and of how she was so happy for me that I had clearly found a new love. I was reminded that there are those around us, who we may not know, that follow our journey, look at our examples and in the meantime, offer prayers and well wishes. As I spoke to this lady and she told me how happy she was and how she and so many others had followed my journey, I once again though, maybe, just maybe, in some way, God has used me.

Some people are often critical because I share my experiences online via social media and so forth. It doesn’t bother me because it is a part of what I try to do, live an open life. I do so because it helps hold me accountable, but I also do so because I think it is a reminder, that if God cares for a dumb poor street kid like Mike Furches, who has made more mistakes and done as many stupid things as anyone on earth, that there is still hope for them. I realize my many, numerous imperfections, yet I also realize the faithfulness of God to love and forgive despite this roller coaster of life many of us travel on.

My word, for all of you who like me, experience that ride, I would say, be patient, and understand I above most all people realize how difficult it is to be patient. There are times it seems as if there is no hope, but, in those times, be patient. Now on this point, also understand, four fingers are pointing back at me because sometimes, being patient is the hardest thing to do when tragedy seems to surround us. How do I know that to be true? Because I am Mike Furches and I know, life is far from perfect or even at times positive, but in the end, God is there, He cares and is available to all of those, including me, who will but call on Him for help.

For going on some thirty years now I have done the work of The Virtual Pew, in part planting seeds but another huge part is getting to know people and being called by many Pastor Mike by my involvement in social media. From engaging in life, I have seen the impact of my work on people on the fringes all over the world. I have run homeless programs, housed homeless people worked with drug addicts, prostitutes and much more. All while giving back my salary, and for the last 8+ years not taking a salary. You can help tremendously by supporting the work, not just from the movie reviews but the work that goes along side that in the development of relationships of helping save lives and give purpose to the lives of others. I appreciate your consideration in this calling that I have seen and know God uses.

If willing to help, it is greatly appreciated. I ask you, do not write checks or make contributions to me. All contributions should be made either to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic. The Virtual Pew is a Religious Organization and Mosaic is a 501-C3 nonprofit.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

You can support us monthly at Mike Furches / The Virtual Pew / Mosaic is creating A Community of Faith To Those on the Fringes | Patreon

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

If desiring more information about this ministry or the testimonials from others, please don’t hesitate to ask. I really am dependent on others to support this missional ministry to keep it going. I have nothing left to give as I’ve depleted, and I’m not complaining, my savings and retirement accounts, now, it really is dependent on you to allow yourself to be used by God to help us out.

I am more than willing to share at your church, business and so forth. I have shared across America as to the work God has done and done for me. I love those opportunities.

Blessings and thank you,

Mike Furches

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

You can also check out Mike's Musical ventures by searching for Mike Furches and Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band. Mary Jane's album is available online and by contacting Mike and the Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band album is available on over 150 download formats.

There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives on The Virtual Pew and Mike Furches Reviews. You can also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone Kid at mike@furches.org You can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.

Hopefully, you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

You can donate via paypal at mike@furches.org or cash app at $MichaelFurches

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word. Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
1249 N. St. Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214
Email: mike@furches.org

To follow Mike's Band, Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band, click the following link:

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5lrkdvEZGg

https://www.facebook.com/TheDemonSlayers

The Movie Guys

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The Virtual Pew Blog

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

Thursday, August 26, 2021

The Virtual Pew, Month End Report

I can’t say thank you enough for those who have supported The Virtual Pew. If I could get the monthly support like we got last month so much of the stress would be relieved. I know I am to trust in the Lord, and I do, but sometimes when I don’t know how I am going to pay the bills it is tough. Then, as always, God comes through. So, for those again, praying, and giving, I thank you so much, you are a reminder of God’s faithfulness and that He is indeed Jehovah Jireh.

As is often the case, things can change in an instant. If folks come through as they did last month things are going to be fine, otherwise, it will be another tough month. It is still my desire that the monthly giving will stabilize so that this monthly concern is lessened. We do have a temporary contribution of $90 per month that is coming in through https://www.patreon.com/thevirtualpew. Others can give from $5 on up monthly and this again helps tremendously. I am not good at asking people specifically to help so this is about as good as I can get at it. Some people ask me if I would like them to donate, or if it would be okay to donate. I’ll be honest, I’m terrible about things like this, if you’re asking the question, just let me say, any donation amount is greatly appreciated.

As to the monthly ministry: I have been making more of an effort promoting The Virtual Pew including making memes to be posted as well as increasing the number of posting teachings. There has also been more and more contact as these efforts are increased. This month I have had to as of today’s date, 8/20/2021 11 face to face contacts with persons receiving services, and some 175+ FB interactions and get this, this month, after a brief add campaign, over 10,000 online visitors. Regarding the effectiveness of ministry; God is still using The Virtual Pew, there is no doubt that God is still using it to touch the lives of so many others on the fringes. There is also no doubt of the need of ongoing monthly support and help if it is to continue.

This month there were also some unexpected medical issues that came up, not having insurance made it concern but within 30 minutes of posting those concerns on Facebook those needs were met. God continues to meet my needs and I am appreciative of that. Sheila, my fiancé, and I are also moving closer to making a decision as to our wedding date. With that comes some extra pressure as to the continuation of ministry, our role in ministry together as well as the ways God will provide while at the same time allowing Sheila to thrive in the calling God has placed on her life. After so many years in ministry I feel compelled to make sure that she follows her heart in ministry. I want her to feel complete and believe that God can have us work together, and if that means me in a supporting role to assist her, I am open to that. Sheila I believe is in many ways a continuation of The Virtual Pew as her primary postings on FaceBook for example are Biblical Memes and such that uplift others. I have no doubt, God has put us together.

Regarding calling, I must be honest. I have had several ministry opportunities over the last months and am looking at those as options. Sheila and I have visited one of the locations recently. With the three ministry opportunities I would be required to move for 2 of them, and the third an option to possibly stay here in Wichita and commute. Of course, a lot of prayer on this and more information as appropriate can be shared about this opportunity. Of course, there is also the possibility that The Virtual Pew could press on and beyond opening doors to teach, preach, and continue reaching out to those on the fringes. On all of this, prayers are requested.

Thankfully, this is another month that seems as if we will get by, for that, I am grateful. Of course, with your ongoing help and support we can do more than just get by, we can do more and relieve some of that stress. Of course ongoing support is required to get by.

Make sure to check out The Virtual Pew Facebook page and web site for ongoing articles and teachings, as well as recommending us to others who may need someone to lend a listening ear and heart to their troubles.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.

1249 North Saint Francis

Wichita Kansas, 67214

I am more than willing to share at your church, business and so forth. I have shared across America as to the work God has done and done for me. I love those opportunities.

Blessings and thank you,

Mike Furches

Monday, August 23, 2021

Pretend I'm from Missouri, Just Show Me

I would like to let you know; I really care! If there is anything I can do for you; please let me know! I’ll be there for you; you can always count on me! I’ll be your friend to the moon and back! I promise; we’ll get together soon! I love you!

Have you heard comments like the ones above before? Are you like me, doubting and knowing that half the time they are empty words? I’ve come up with this saying in life, it is one that I wasn’t familiar with until moving to the Midwest a number of years ago and spending time in Missouri, my response more times than not, even if only thought and not spoken are, “Pretend I’m from Missouri; SHOW ME!

Unfortunately, we live in a world where more times than not words are just empty and the person speaking them either doesn’t take them seriously or the person hearing them is just reminded that it is okay to be lied to and the other person just doesn’t take them seriously or seriously doesn’t care about them. For someone that is a Christian, to speak words without understanding the intent of those words or intention of honoring those words can be devastating to their witness. It is one of the reasons, that in all honesty for me, is why I continue to have such a difficult time trusting others.

I am reminded of a concept as taught in the Bible:

When you make a promise, say only “Yes” or “No.” Anything else comes from the devil. ~ Matthew 5:37 (CEV)

Think about that concept by the way the words were spoken by Jesus! Does it ever seem like we hear a lot of excuses as to why a person can’t or doesn’t keep their word? Why their yes isn’t yes or their no really no? This verse gives explanation as to the reasoning here, it plainly says, anything else other than keeping promises anything other than our word is of the devil. No excuses, only the need to improve and make sure that we are acting accordingly with the concept of calling ourselves a follower of Jesus.

Does this mean we won’t make mistakes or that things don’t come up? Of course not, but it is clear, those are the exceptions as opposed to the rule and that above all, we think about what we say before we say it and we keep our word. If we make a promise, plan on keeping that promise. At that point, all those things in the first paragraph begin to change. Our experiences, our expectations, and our word will be different.

I’m not from Missouri, I’m originally and always will be from Tennessee. I would rather not have to experience the SHOW ME state moto and concept, but unfortunately, I expect to. Can it change? Yes, but it requires people to change. Will you think about your commitment, your yes, your no before speaking them in the future?

I've always felt the following song applied to this in so many ways. Give Broken Promises by Rez Band a listen in this lyric video:

Broken promises Resurrection Band with lyrics - YouTube

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

You can support us monthly at Mike Furches / The Virtual Pew / Mosaic is creating A Community of Faith To Those on the Fringes | Patreon

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

The Church Experience is not a Hobby Lobby

First, let me make it clear, I fully understand that in the world of Christianity, people have been talking about the 2^nd coming of Jesus since shortly after his death and resurrection some 2,000 years ago. I vividly recall my grandfather, “Paps,” talking about the 2^nd coming of Jesus. There were things he would mention, and I would think as a young man; “yeah, no way.” To be brutally honest, my opinion of those things over the years have changed drastically as I have seen things happening that give indication that the things my grandfather, and others before and since him spoke about have come to be true. I could go into a great deal of detail but that would take up volumes. Two things specifically come to mind though, two out of many, one is the ability to communicate via live forms worldwide, (Facebook live is an example that while it be normal to many, for others, it is something we never thought we would see.) Another is the change and acceptance of certain behaviors that seem to mirror Biblical prophesy’s that talk about as in the days of Noah, Sodom, (and no I’m not talking about homosexuality but the refusal to care for the poor and needy among others,) the lack of faith in God and the aspect of people turning their backs on and even mocking God. As one who didn’t grow up in the faith of Christianity, yet became a Christian some 40 years ago, I have seen these things transpire and come about in ways I never thought possible. Then the world events and things happening around the world certainly contribute to the belief that Jesus may in fact, be getting ready to return.

Now there are many theories and beliefs about the return of Jesus, I won’t go into those other than to say, that whatever belief you hold to, I would strongly encourage that if you believe in Jesus’ return, hold on to your faith and consider that your belief as to how and when may be wrong. In that belief, the most important thing is to be ready for His return and to be about the business of sharing Jesus with those around you. If you don’t believe in Jesus, or the return of Jesus, this posting is not for you. It is unusual in that way, but I will say from this point, I believe in the return of Jesus, and I believe the acceptance of Jesus is critical to the eternal destiny one has. There are consequences for believing in Jesus and accepting Him as well as I believe consequences for not accepting Him.

There are many in today’s world that speak of the return of Christ to take His children home and to judge the earth. Again, there are various beliefs on this subject, but today I made a statement, that is, “…. If we really believe that (in the soon return of Jesus) we better be about the business of proclaiming Jesus and Jesus alone. Otherwise, you have a hobby, not a faith.” My friend Kevin from Tennessee responded, “then would some churches be considered...wait for it... Hobby Lobbys ??” That my friends, is a great question for the Church and those who are a part of the Church.

The Church and individual churches are not called to be “Hobby Lobby’s, they are called into action to worship God, learn about the ways of God for the “equipping of the saints to the carrying out of the Gospel message.” That is, to preach and show the world that Jesus loves them enough to die for them and to offer a way to escape the tragedies of the world and provide an eternal, hope for more.

Now I could get into a lot of what I call “Christianeze” here but that is not my intent. My intent is twofold. 1^st, People need to understand, God loves you and wants to have an eternal relationship with you. God wants us happy, but beyond happy, joyful. He does not want us to feel lonely, rejected, and suffering. I’ll be brutally honest, even accepting Him does not mean you won’t at times feel those things, I do, but there is an eternal hope that those things don’t have to stay the way they are. With God, through the blood of Jesus, and given the power of the Holy Spirit, I can overcome and be more. Heaven doesn’t have to wait until death, I can start to experience the joy of Jesus now. While there will be failures, there is again HOPE! But there is more.

We must understand the calling of The Church. Unfortunately, as discussed in a breakfast meeting this morning, the church often likes to blame others for their own faults. Many who follow The Virtual Pew know this because you have felt the pain of rejection and judgement in the past. That doesn’t change however the responsibility of the Church to be sharing the message of salvation as provided only through Jesus. The bible clearly states, “There is no other name under Heaven that people can be saved other than the name of Jesus,” and “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the father except through me,” (Jesus speaking of himself.) The way of salvation, escape and ultimate relationship with God for all eternity is specifically, and only through Jesus.

Now just because the organized church has failed at this message doesn’t mean that the message and intent is wrong. Neither does it imply though that we can’t change our directives and be about the work that God has called us to. I like to say that God is a God of 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th, and more chances. There comes a time though, that we quit making excuses and focus on the things God has called us to.

Here is the question, whether you are involved actively in a brick-and-mortar church or not; are you about doing the work of God and sharing the message of Jesus? We must be careful I believe to not do that in a compromised, unacceptable way. Anything that takes away from the message and importance of Jesus is in my opinion, DANGEROUS! Especially when you have groups that present Jesus as one of the ways, but not the only way. We must take seriously this message, especially if we are in fact living in the last days. On this point, let me make clear, while we may, or may not be living in the “last days,” (I believe we are,) for some, whose life will end today as none of us are guaranteed of tomorrow, they are in fact, living in the last days. The consistency of the message we live and share about Jesus is of catamount importance.

I believe the Church is a group of believers with a common purpose; to be about the same work of Christ, “To seek and save the lost.” That said, each of us as individual members of the Church have a responsibility to live and share Jesus and the message of salvation. It might be through posting memes on Facebook, it might be a more direct message like I do through The Virtual Pew, but we must remember, “No one can have faith without hearing the message about Christ.” – Romans 10:17, Ultimately, we must speak the truth and share the message about Christ, not some other teacher, not some other belief, not some other system, but specifically Jesus. In that, may we all be more about practicing our faith and be legitimate and intentional as opposed to using the church as a form of a Hobby Lobby.

For an illustration on how to come to know God, as well as to how to share the message of God, check the following video. If making a decision after the following video, let me know, one of the things we would like to do at The Virtual Pew is assist you in your growth as a follower of Jesus, and to help you in the ways you can share and live out your faith.

What are the four spiritual laws? - YouTube

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Sunday, August 15, 2021

Hearing God In The Whispers

Sometimes life is difficult, so difficult in fact that we are almost ready to give up. The walls around us close in and the stress can be so difficult that we are ready to give up. Those emotions and feelings have recently been smothering me, even as good things in life happen, there are no guarantees of happiness or joy. The sad truth is, we all at times face difficulty.

I unfortunately have a disorder called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, that makes things even more complicated in the above area. They are compounded with feelings of worthlessness, and the experiences in life can be a reminder that nothing good is going to happen and that life is set up for failure. There is the desire to be accepted, to be loved, to feel a since of a word I hate, “normalcy.” While there is a need to be loved, and reminders needed of feeling like one has accomplished something in life for everyone, due to typically abuse or some form of life-threatening event, this is especially true for the victims of PTSD. With a very tough week that I recently had, my PTSD was kicking in more than usual. The specifics as to the triggers are not so important, the way that God came through to help in the little things are.

I am reminded at this point of a passage from 1 Kings 19: 9-13 9 and he spent the night there in a cave.

While Elijah was on Mount Sinai, the Lord asked, “Elijah, why are you here?”

10 He answered, “Lord God All-Powerful, I’ve always done my best to obey you. But your people have broken their solemn promise to you. They have torn down your altars and killed all your prophets, except me. And now they are even trying to kill me!”

11 “Go out and stand on the mountain,” the Lord replied. “I want you to see me when I pass by.”

All at once, a strong wind shook the mountain and shattered the rocks. But the Lord was not in the wind. Next, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 Then there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

Finally, there was a gentle whisper, 13 and when Elijah heard it, he covered his face with his coat. He went out and stood at the entrance to the cave.

The Lord asked, “Elijah, why are you here?”

In the above passage I have come to realize, although I don’t practice it perfectly, that sometimes in searching for God, in finding peace, maybe just maybe we need to take a step back and listen to the gentle whisper of God. Maybe just maybe making sure that we enjoy, appreciate, and observe the little things are the ways that God can bring us back to a place of peace. For me this week, that was the case.

It started out in a number of ways, first was spending some quality time with my fiancé after a little bit of a misunderstanding. Taking the time to communicate, be open and honest with one another despite the relationship is a place to start. Then sometimes there are the gentle reminders that you’ve made a difference and in reality, have friends who mean something to you, where you’ve made a difference. This week God had two friends who I hadn’t seen in a very long time just happen to run into me, one who was passing through Wichita and another who I happened to run into from Dallas Texas who was at a little Amish restaurant in a little Amish town of Yoder Kansas. What are the odds. My fiancé has reminded me of how the smile on my face was so beautiful and how good it was to see me so happy. God will find a way if we listen to the whispers.

Saturday Night/Sunday morning was another time. My fiancé and I happened to take a walk late in the evening on a golf course, and then later that night, late night we decide to go lay down on the golf course on a blanket, in the middle of the country, and watch a meteor shower. Laying down, gazing at the heavens we realize the mighty power of God and the beauty of His creation. I was reminded of the song. “The universe declares Your majesty, you are holy, you are holy…” As we sang together a few tears pop up because it was in Gods’ gentle whisper in the night, gazing at God’s creation that I am reminded, God speaks in a gentle whisper.

Truth is, life sometimes is just awful, especially for someone like me who has PTSD, but in those times where it seems to be awful, and we feel so lost, if we step back, spend time with those we love, or even alone, and listen to the gentle whisper of God, maybe, just maybe, we will feel more complete and recognize the purpose God has for us. Something to think about. Now sit back and listen for that gentle whisper.

To listen to the song mentioned in the posting, click on the following link.

God of Wonders - Chris Tomlin (with lyrics) - YouTube

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Lies, Deceit and Dangerous Associations

Whose Real Anymore?

Over the years I’ve been asked more times than I can count to help others, and most of the time, when able, I have gladly done so. I think my life is a record of serving others, and I have done my best to be a person of integrity. I think much of that came about from the times I realized I had failed in so many ways and realized it is better in life to be honest than to try and impress others in whatever way we do so. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t speak truth, for example, the integrity of one’s intent and the purpose within their heart is of value. It is okay to speak truth for example, I think my band Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band is a good band that works hard and that we are as solid as a basic three piece as there is around with a very solid drummer, a very good guitar player and I think I am quite competent on the bass guitar. Is that bragging? No, I don’t think so, I think it is a statement of reality and fact. Thankfully that statement has been backed up by many world class musicians from around the world and others who have seen us live. That brings me to my next point though, what about when others think wrong of you or speak ill of you, often behind your back?

Years ago I wanted to rebel and react against some lies that were being said about me. I was referred to the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnagie. It was one of the best books on relationship and conflict that I have ever read. You don’t win friends by the arguing, back biting and so forth, you find ways to speak good of even your enemies. Above all though, you speak truth. While that seems to be contradictory there are ways to do both. It boils down to trying to find the positive about others and speak on those things. Unfortunately, even when doing so, others don’t always receive it and if they have something against you, they will never be able to speak positively of you. At that point after effort has been made, the problem is on them, not you. That doesn’t make it easy, truth is, it hurts at times, but it is important to maintain integrity and then be at peace with the decisions you have made and the things you have said. God is fully capable through His Holy Spirit to convict others of where they have been wrong. He is also capable of letting others see the truth of the situation.

Does all this mean that we allow others to go on speaking ill of us, doing us wrong, and at times, yes even using us? I think the answer to that is complicated. First, we can’t control what others say, I have been lied about so many times it is impossible to recall every situation. It is like Larry Norman said in one of his songs, “People talk about my name, they’re driving me insane, but here I am, talking about Jesus just the same.” For many, it is clear I was a friend for them when they could use me to help them, or someone else, basically any time I made them look good, but after the fact or completion of the task, despite the promises, and what I know to be lies at times, the person changes, never honoring their commitments and or keeping their word. It is as my Paps used to tell me, “If a man (or woman) aint got their word, they aint got nothing.” Unfortunately, that aspect of keeping one’s word, being honest, is a rarity for many in this world. In those situations, I tend to remember as I am called to love but, I am not called to be a fool. Unfortunately, there are those who have not kept their word, lied to me and at that point, I recall the old Aesop’s Fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I don’t listen and I choose to spend my time and efforts helping those who appreciate it and are honest with me.

Many will say the above response is not Biblical, but I disagree, I also challenge that it does little good to be spending time helping those who aren’t appreciative and do not maintain honesty. If they can’t be honest about such things, how do we know if they are honest about the things they are telling us? My late wife, and those that know me best tell me that one of my problems is that I am brutally honest. Ask me what I think, and I will tell you, not to be mean, but because I never felt that lies benefited anyone.

I am not the only one that has been hurt, lied to, and used by others, many of us have, often at the hands of those who call themselves good. It becomes clear after awhile that some will be friends if we can be of benefit to them, which is not a real friend. Are we to love our neighbors and others? Yes, we are but remember, we are to do it as, “we do ourselves.” We must be honest to ourselves and respect the time, and efforts we make as there are limitations to what we do, so, what we do, we need to do as perfectly and honorably as possible.

I suspect that for myself, and yes, many of you, that there will be those who will continue to try and use us and take advantage of us. When they do, realize, we can still love them, but that doesn’t mean that we continue to be around them and allow ourselves to be used. We should not put ourselves in situations where we knowingly know we are going to be hurt, that is a part of caring for ourselves to the point where we ca help and care for others who will need us and appreciate us. Think about it.

Be a people of integrity, let your yes be a yes and a no be a no, but don’t get so caught up in those who would deceive us and hurt us that we can’t be no earthly good to those who need us. When deceit is taking place, (especially against the truth of Jesus) don’t entertain it, run from it. That is what God has called us to, to flee even the appearance of evil, when that evil clearly goes against or attacks the concepts of God, it is time to flee. The value of that is not only valuable for Christians who are being deceived with untruth, even attacking the very cause of Christ, it is wise for the nonbeliever as well. There is a difference between misguided effort and efforts that lies, cheats, and steals from the truth, in the Bible the author of that is Satan, not God.

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Just For You

You are important and I want you to know that you can feel free to contact me at any time. I always try to respond to comments posted here, when appropriate, and have learned from my work as a counselor and pastor that people need to know that they are important. My contact information is available and I encourage you to contact me when need be. The fact that you are a real person is not lost on me. While you are at it, if needing a place to plug in, you can also join and become a part of The Virtual Pew. Message boards and interaction are available there as well. Thanks for visiting and know that God loves you and so do I.