Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 42

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I continue to reflect on yesterday. I must continue to take steps to make things right in regards to my relationship with others. I have tried to do that over the years, and in some situations succeeded. I guess I struggle in a couple of areas though regarding making amends. I realize that I have the responsibility to make things right with those I have wronged. I also have the obligation to forgive. I have tried to do that for several years, but if I am honest, I have to admit and confess some issues where I have failed.

One of the issues I have is staying at the place I can forgive. I find that at times things happen, either something someone says or does, or situations or places I am in cause me for the lack of a better word, to backslide. I find myself letting go of anger, then later on, getting angry again at the same person. I recognize the need of me to quit trying to do it, and let Christ through His Holy Spirit help me in forgiving others. I can’t do it on my own. I recognize my need to forgive and let go, to not hold on to grudges, to not go back to the place of being angry or being inappropriate with another person.

One of the hard things for me to recognize is this really is a journey, while I may take a couple of steps forward, it isn’t unusual to find myself taking a step back. I need God to remind me of not where I am at, but where I used to be. I need to see and recognize the progress I make with God’s help. I need to keep my eyes on Jesus as I progress, not keep looking back. When I find myself falling back, start over from that point and move on.

God help me move forward, to let go, where I hold on to grudges, anger, pride or any type of sin related to my attitude, help me let it go. I can’t expect people to love and accept me, if I can’t love and accept them, no matter who they are, where they are at, or what they have done.

Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. ~ Luke 6:31

Don’t sin by letting anger control you. “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

If you are a thief, quite stealing. Instead use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. ~ Ephesians 4: 26-30

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