Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 39

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I realize my own need to let go of the pain others have passed on to me. I know God doesn’t want me at the place of distress but I have let things fester over the years regarding those who have hurt me. I have such a desire to be appreciated, to be liked, that I grieve, hurt, and stress more than I should. Even today there are things that have me stressing and hurting. I have to let go and experience the freedom and healing God has for me.

While not required in the journal, I am going to do something different. I am going to contact those who have hurt me, explain my hurt, and ask them to forgive me for holding grudges. I need to release them and free myself from the pain I have experienced. I have lived many years after my abuse, it will take time but I start the journey of forgiving today, one by one. I have done that for some who have sought it but I haven’t done it for all. I need to be clear, concise, and to the point. I need to let go knowing that I have done what God requires of me. At this point, I will be able to better receive what God has for me.

My God, my Father, you are the King of Kings, the Creator of the universe. I have no need to in the tough times I am in nor have the pain others have inflicted on me be bring me down or keep me down. God you know the truth, I know the truth, unfortunately when others perceive to know the truth without speaking to me or checking the facts, that is their problem, give clarity and let your truth stand. God you are big enough, strong enough, and powerful enough to deliver and know what is best for me. Let your truth stand. Father, help me let go to experience the freedom and liberty you have for me. Help me to forgive and move on.

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans: 8: 38, 39

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. ~ 1 John 3:1

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