The Virtual Pew Daily

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Best Slide Guitar Player I Ever Knew: A Suicide Story

Stan Hamm was one of the best guitar players I ever knew. He was without a doubt the best acoustic slide player I ever knew. After working for a number of years in the music business and hearing some of the great guitar players of my time it takes a lot to impress me. Stan impressed me, and the memory of seeing him play, still has a lasting impression.

Stan was tall, over six feet with dirty blonde hair. He was slim with decent muscle tone due to the years spent on his family’s farm and all of the carpentry work he had done. He had the tendency to wear a beard for a month or so and then change his look in some way, either by shaving, changing his hair style, something. He wasn’t overly handsome but he was far from ugly. He could have had many more girlfriends than he did, but he was complicated with a lot of deep thoughts and concerns he wasn’t afraid of discussing.

I first met Stan while attending Tabor College in Hillsboro, Kansas. Hillsboro is a small town and Tabor is a small Mennonite Brethren college. When I first met him I didn’t know he was a musician. We were involved in some classes together and I found out that he enjoyed some of the same Christian artists I did. The one that brought us together was Larry Norman. I enjoyed how Larry Norman used Rock ‘N’ Roll to address social issues and Stan was of the same opinion. It didn’t take long before Stan showed up at my house one evening with guitar in hand.

At that time I was a frustrated musician who had not taken the time or made the effort to learn to play my bass guitar in an appropriate way. I dabbled with a harmonica and tried to sing but really wasn’t that good. I’ll never forget the first time I heard Stan play. I was amazed at how fast his fingers were and how good his music felt. When he brought out that old glass pop bottle neck and started playing slide guitar I was blown away. I had never heard anything like it. He could play everything from classic blues to gospel renditions which he often did at church. His slide version of Amazing Grace is still one of the best renditions I have ever heard. His fingering with both his left and right hand were so effortless, yet the music was without mistake and nothing short of incredible. On some of the things he would sing, and he wasn’t all that bad vocally either.

One of the things I always appreciated in my friends was their honesty and Stan was one of the most honest people I have ever known. I’ll never forget sitting out in the garage one evening, Stan playing guitar and me trying to play harmonica and sing some of those Larry Norman songs. It wasn’t long before Stan told me, "I don’t really think you should sing. It’s not that you can’t sing but you can’t sing the style we are playing." While those comments hurt a little I appreciated him for his honesty. His honesty also caused me to take my singing and playing more seriously. Through the brutality of his honesty I was challenged to be a better singer and a much better musician. I realized that Stan was good for me and would help me not only become a better musician, but a better person.

Over the years Stan and my family became close. For a year and a half we lived in separate attached apartments. We kept the doors between the apartments open and had a common room together that we called our family room. We lived in a community with other close Christian friends but while those families shared their own apartment space Stan and my family took it a step further. The television and our reading materials were in the family room. Our daughter was only 3 or 4 at the time and Stan would watch her as we went to the store or ran other errands. We looked after his things when he wanted us to. We shared most all possessions because we were like family. We even shared a meal together each evening. What was ours was his, and what was his was ours.

Over the years Stan became involved in the jail ministry I organized in college. He was among the first to care and respond to the people we tried to help and was there each week. There were four of us that were regulars in this ministry and we drew close over the four years we worked together. Stan was also involved at church, with student prayer groups on campus, and Bible studies. As far as I was concerned, he had it all together and we had a love for each other that was hard to describe.

Stan and I shared a number of heartaches together. We both had difficulties with our families and there were times we shared those heartaches with each other. He was having some troubles with his folks and their newfound "Charismatic" faith. I on the other hand had difficulty with my family who were all strict Republicans and very conservative. One Christmas Stan went home with me to Tennessee. That particular Christmas was unusual in Tennessee because the temperature was in the 70’s and the mountains were beautiful. We took a 4 mile hike up into the mountains to one of the beautiful waterfalls in the National Forest surrounding Erwin Tennessee. We found some popular tree leaves to cover ourselves with after we decided to strip down and get into the pools surrounding the waterfalls and take some photos.

Later that day we went home and spent time with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It wasn’t unusual that when we got together my family would get into some deep philosophical or political argument, this time was no different. While I was so hurt that I was ready to leave and drive back to Kansas, Stan was among the first to be at my side, telling me that my family was worth more than any political view. It was important to make up and see to it that we didn’t have this type of separation, especially at Christmas. It was times like this that I knew Stan was a dear friend. I was there for him when he needed me and he was there for me when I needed him.

Some years later I ended up graduating from college and Stan and I went our separate ways. He spent time in Hillsboro, Oklahoma and Colorado and I was in South Carolina. It was almost 3 years later before I saw him again. My wife, daughter and I were visiting Hillsboro Kansas during Easter. While there we had decided to spend as much time with Stan as possible. I could see at the time that Stan was having some difficulties. He was focused more on the problems around him and didn’t seem happy. He was disillusioned with the church and the Christians around him. He was tired of seeing them talk about love while never showing love. I had not seen Stan like this before, at least not to this extent. We spent a good deal of time together and before I departed to go back to South Carolina I told him that if he ever needed anything to give me a call.

I had been back in South Carolina for almost a year when I received a phone call late one night. It was Stan on the other end of the line and he had awakened my wife and me. I was surprised to hear from him but was pleased. I quickly sat up in the bed and told my wife who it was on the other end. We had not been talking long when Stan began to ask questions about South Carolina. He wanted to know what the people were like, how hard was it to find a job and things of this nature. He than asked if I would be willing to let him move in with us if he moved there. My wife, Mary Jane and I were surprised because we still maintained a close relationship with him and considered him a part of our family. He would always be welcome, he should know that. He told us of his frustrations of living in a small town and living around “supposed Christians." The conversation lasted for close to an hour and I didn’t get much sleep that night due to the excitement of the conversation and the opportunity to talk to my old friend Stan. To be honest I was hoping that he would be moving in rather soon.

My wife was a little less optimistic after much of the discussion of the opportunity of Stan moving in with us in South Carolina. She had remembered his wonderful habit of eating raw garlic. She used to tell him that she could smell him coming up the stairs of the apartment before she heard him. Stan had also been experiencing some problems we were not to aware of and she felt it would be a good idea to find out what was going on in his life before having him move in. While there were several discussions between my wife and me, they were mute, Stan was welcome and we hoped to hear from him soon. Despite my effort to contact Stan over the next several months I was unable to do so. He was moving from one place to another and not many people knew where he was at or how to reach him.

A few months later I accepted a job in Hendersonville, North Carolina. It was only 35 miles from where we lived in Greenville, South Carolina but we moved none the less. I took the job as the Director of a Rehabilitation program in for mentally ill adults. We decided to go ahead and move despite it still being within commuting distance. Things were going great when I received a letter one day from an old friend back in Kansas.

My college had written a brief paragraph in its alumni newsletter regarding my new job. One of the mutual friends I had with Stan wrote me a letter. It was a surprise when I got the letter and I was excited. It started off in the traditional tone, "Hey Mike, it’s Mark here in Kansas. I recently read about you working in Mental Health and I am doing the same thing type of thing here in Newton, Kansas." There was more small talk, which was exciting to me, but then, the shocker, "By the way don’t know if you know or not, but do you know that Stan is dead?"

To say the least my emotions went from the high of hearing from an old friend to instant shock. I’ll never forget my wife who was with me that day at work. She could tell something was wrong from my silence and expression. "What’s wrong Mike?" she asked.

"Stan’s dead" was all I could say.

That evening I called Mark. I needed to know the details. It is hard to explain, that is to know the details, but I couldn’t control the urge. Mark was convinced that Stan was Bipolar and that he had difficulty with all of the things going on. Stan was in Colorado when he had killed himself and was by all evidence, alone. I couldn’t then and still have a hard time accepting that Stan is dead. I often wonder, dream and think about the possibility that maybe he really isn’t dead. I have had to come to accept over the years that he is dead and a dear friend is no longer around.

I have had many regrets, questions and thoughts over the years, "Is there anything I could have done?" "Why didn’t I see something after we had the phone conversation several months earlier?" Why did others put so much pressure on Stan?" "Dear God what a waste of a wonderful life." I thought these things and more but I finally realized that Stan was responsible for his actions. Did he think about the hurt he would create from his actions? I don’t think so if he would have he wouldn’t have killed himself. I have also thought about what was he thinking and going through.

The more I have thought and prayed about it the more I am convinced that the terrible disease of Mental Illness must be treated and understood. I have come to the conclusion that the church is to blame to a small extent for not fully understanding and addressing the needs of the mentally ill. Much of Stan’s confusion and hurt was the result of religious confusion. Many may say this is why you shouldn’t mix religion with the treatment of mental illness. After working in the field for some years I couldn’t disagree more. I am absolutely confident; this is why you must address religious thoughts, convictions, and delusions in the treatment of this disease. To refuse to do so will only allow the confusion to remain in the life of the person struggling.

It has been a number of years now since Stan left us. I still have the pictures we took on the mountain on that Christmas day when he provided me encouragement. I have the Testament our family gave him one Christmas when we lived together in Kansas. I have the recorded music he wrote and played. I listen to it often, still amazed at the ability of this individual who lost hope. This friend who was the best slide guitar player I ever heard play. I wish I could tell Stan one more time that I loved him. I wish I could be there to cry with him, but I can’t. I can only hope that others that need to hear this message will read it, and ultimately, respond to those they love.

The following video addresses the issue of suicide, just click on the video to view. If the video doesn't appear, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7IK711hF9c

Here is another video from old friend Rick Cua, former bass player for the Outlaws, Don't Say Suicide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9wNDNQYwKM

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Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas From the Furches Family

While coming a little late, we are sending out our 2010 Year in Review, Merry Christmas, and Happy Holiday Update, and it was it a jam packed year for us.

Our year started off in an exciting way as we became grandparents. Aaliyah Monroe Elise Furches was born. Our Granddaughter is a beautiful little baby. She was born in February to our daughter in law, Emily. She was tiny like both Nathan and Emily but has tons of spirit, (in a good way.) She has been a joy as we keep her most every weekend and take her to church with us. It seems as if the year end will be a good time for us as we transition into being grandparents. Mary Jane is Nanny and I am PeePaw. Seems like we will have that experience again, late Spring, Early Summer as Marathana and Brett are also expecting their first child.

Mary Jane continues to teach at Derby Middle School and while there have been health issues some this year, she is back in full swing of things as of the Christmas season. A bout with a sinus infection, ear infection, flu, and cancer concerns all at the same time didn’t make things easy, but God is good, and she is in full health, doing just fine.

While the year saw many blessings, which I will mention later, we also had some difficulties. Among the chief of those was our moving from Clearwater as a result of the downward economy. We had a lease option on the purchase of our country home, which sat on 2 ½ acres, complete with a barn, pasture and more. The burm underground house was a house we loved but our landlord filed bankruptcy and as a result we ended up having to move. It showed us a great deal about the economy, banks and lending institutions as we tried to make an offer on the house, purchase it and so forth, and the banks, lending institutions and more wouldn’t even speak with us until the house went before the courts. As a result, after about a year of this, we finally decided to move. The house still sits vacant, overgrown, and now the property of the bank, and they will get substantially less for the house at auction than what we offered for it.

All isn’t bad though as we have relocated to Park City Kansas, just to the north of Wichita. In fact, while we live in Park City, it is strange that it is either a Park City or Wichita address. We ended up finding a little house just perfect for us. I could go into detail there but will say, nothing like living in a smaller community which is really making strides at being a community. We woke up one morning only to find out that our house sits right on the Park City Parade route. While Park City may be better known for the former serial killer BTK, Dennis Radar formerly living here, this little town is much more than that. Our new address for snail mail is 6441 N. Hydraulic, Park City, (or Wichita) KS 67219. If you are ever in the neighborhood come on down. We have a great Mexican restaurant within walking distance, a number of other good restaurants, including the local favorite, Cracker Barrel. Our new phone number is 1-316-807-8034 and The Virtual Pew and The Keystone Kid has a toll free number, it is 1-800-344-5013

I continue to pastor at Mosaic Church in Wichita. We have had some good, and bad problems occur which have made it difficult. We were renting space, which we had outgrown. While we had the option of going to 2 services, the furnace on the building never worked appropriately, finally went out all together and the landlord expected us to replace the furnace. We have since started meeting at Pawnee Avenue Church of God, and have made an offer on a location downtown which we will be relocating to later on. The new space will allow us to continue our outreach to the homeless as we will be one block away from the primary hangouts for the homeless, and the arts community as we will be downtown Wichita.

Mosaic has also been impacted by the economy. We have several people out of work, and others who are unable to contribute to the needs of the church financially. We continue to move forward though and many growing in discipleship. Currently there is no guarantee of salary for me from the church as we are at a vulnerable place, even though we have grown. We may likely always need to be seen as a missional church as we reach out to many who aren’t able to contribute. Once we relocate to our location, it is likely that we will experience many homeless and others coming to our church who will not be able to give. The funding we received from our organizational group ran out this year, and we are seeking support from various other individuals and churches. As to my needs, while it is still tough, God continues to come through and meet our needs, and thankfully, sometimes our wants.

This was an exciting year for Mary Jane and me as we also were able to take a vacation. We didn’t go far but went to Amarillo, Texas. Along the way we stopped in Oklahoma City and points of interest along the way including the Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere, Erick Oklahoma the home of Roger Miller and Sheb Wooley and many other wonderful locations like that. The highlight of the trip was the Palo Duro Canyon outside of Amarillo and getting to see, have dinner with a dear longtime friend, Mary Diane Goin and her husband George, whom I hadn’t seen in many years since living in Greenville, South Carolina. What a wonderful word of encouragement she had for the both of us. While in Amarillo we also made a point to attend church as we visited the Cal Farley Boy’s Ranch. If ever in the area, make sure you visit this wonderful ministry.

This was also a year to reconnect with other friends. We were truly blessed as long time friends visited us. David Loewen, a friend from Tabor College and his girlfriend, Sherry visited us. David attended church with us and shared some while there. He and I were actively involved in the jail ministry while in college.

We also had Guerry (Garvy) Harvell from Greenville visit and stay with us for a couple of weeks. Garvy helped our band as we played a few times out, and he also helped out at church while here. We took Garvy around to see some of Kansas and it was so good seeing this old band mate and dear brother.

One of the tough things this year, especially with the release of my book, The Keystone Kid was my web site www.thevirtualpew.com being hacked twice by hackers and finally put down. As a result I lost almost 3,000 email contacts of individuals who had requested to receive information from The Virtual Pew. That resulted in a serious loss of income for our family as many of the regular donations that came in from that web site were lost due to us not being able to send reminders and so forth. We are actively trying to rebuild that web site and get it back up and going. While much of the ministry and work of The Virtual Pew has continued, the hacking and loss of the web site had a negative impact in many regards.

There was good news though, the release of my book, The Keystone Kid did take place. The book is starting to pick up in sales via word of mouth. I am still working with the publishers at making sure some things are taken care of. The last month of the book has actually been quite positive in sales and I hear almost daily from people who have been touched and helped from the book. The book is available worldwide and via Barnes and Noble, Amazon and other retailers. It is published by Friesen Press and is distributed by Ingrim Distribution. You can find out more about it at www.thekeystonekid.com

Also pre production of the short, The Long Walk, a film by Titus Jackson and Tiroma Films is complete and the final steps are in place to finish the short based on the book. We will be using that short to raise funds for the feature film and are excited about the rough draft of the short. Rob Cassels from The Rob Cassels Band will score the final project, some correction, editing, and a little more will be done prior to the completion of the film. We have had some delay in this project due to Titus mother having cancer and he and his family dealing with that. Pray for Titus and his family during this tough time. His mother is a wonderful woman whom I had the honor of meeting during the filming of The Long Walk, she was a reminder to me of the importance of this story, and a ministry like The Virtual Pew, and a church like Mosaic.

In closing, this year, I have been reminded of the need of a Savior, the need for the Light of Christ in the darkness of this world. I continue to grow and mature in my faith, never giving up on what Christ has done for me, and our family. I have been blessed to have many friends there with me along the years, many who, like me are followers of Christ, others, who are not. While I could wish none of my friends more or better than Jesus, I am nonetheless grateful for all of my friends, many of which have supported and helped us over the years, I cannot say thank you enough.

This Christmas, I am reminded of the lessons of Dickens in his classic story, A Christmas Carol. Sometimes the scrooge isn’t the one who doesn’t observe Christmas; the scrooge is the one who doesn’t recognize the needs of those oppressed by society, those who for whatever reason have less. Many of faith talk about how as a society we shouldn’t expect the government to help the poor, because the church should be doing it, yet, many do nothing or very little. I can’t help but be reminded during this season, that Jesus was a redeemer of the poor. He told us to provide for, help and be with the poor and needy, the orphan and the widow. Every Christmas our family takes time to provide for the homeless, the poor, and poor children. While we are limited in what we can do, we are blessed that many come along and help. This Christmas, this New Year, I want to affirm that our family will continue that ministry, but we challenge all of those receiving this to also do what they can, to not be a scrooge, but to share in the love of our fellow human beings by doing and being all that we be.

From our household, we sincerely say thank you for your friendship, and we truly do wish you and yours, the best Christmas, and Holiday Season possible. We love because Jesus loves us, and loving others in return is a reflection of the love we believe Christ would have each of us live out, and besides, it brings so much more joy and is easier to do than hating.

Love to all and Merry Christmas,

Mike and Mary Jane Furches
Matthew 25:31-46

The following video is a link to the video using some of the quotes that has started coming in on the book. It has been a blessing getting to meet people as well as hear their own stories of how the book has helped them in their recovery. God is good, just click on the video to see some of the quotes, if the video doesn't appear, just click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8BJOXyHrpA

Here is a video of the Christmas Santa Homeless project we do each year. This year we were blessed to have people across the nation participate. Just as above, if the video appears, just click on it, if it doesn't, simply click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGNKN2EpKNE

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Wichita, the Church in Wichita Kansas where Mike is the pastor.

Click Here to Go to The Virtual Pew Daily Verse and Read The Bible in a Year Passages

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

You can also Help The Virtual Pew by shopping on our web site or at Amazon, click here to shop at Amazon and help The Virtual Pew, it won't cost you anything extra, but we get a small percentage of the purchase.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to visit and join the new group The Virtual Pew, at MySpace. Become a part of a different kind of Christian group, check out the page for more information,all welcome, including those who are not followers of Jesus.

Click to visit the Virtual Pew Website and become a part of that ministry.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Click to visit Mary Jane Furches' new MySpace Page

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
P.O. Box 17731
Wichita, KS 67217

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Dog/Cat Theology

Have you ever heard of Cat/Dog Theology? It is a thought where dogs say, “You feed me, give me water, nurture me, treat me like royalty, take me to the vet and so much more. You must be God.” A cat says “You feed me, give me water, nurture me, treat me like royalty, take me to the vet and so much more. I must be God.” Some say cats always have this attitude and some people are like cats. Recently I learned something else from cats, and it is a little different than the traditionally held beliefs regarding Dog/Cat Theology.

As a family, we love pets. They are usually named after close friends, unique situations, or something related to the real sport of wrestling, (not that fake stuff which I refuse to call sport). We had an older cat named OJ. His name went back to the night OJ Simpson was in escape mode in the white Bronco. It is a long story but yes, OJ is named after OJ Simpson.

OJ was older when we got him; he had been adopted from an animal shelter and was approximately 11 years old at the time we got him. While he was neutered, you couldn’t tell it by his actions. He acted just like an old Tom. We suspect he was abused previously. When we first got him he was terribly afraid of shoes, and would have nothing to do with men. This led to issues in my house as I am the cat person and my wife doesn’t really like them but OJ preferred to spend time with her when he was around, which wasn’t very often. OJ preferred being outside and was his own individual. During extreme weather moments, especially in the winter we saw him more than not. During the summer or other times of the year we would go for weeks without seeing him. He was also is a great mouser catching all kinds of wildlife and killing it, rabbits, mice, moles, birds, snakes, whatever. Sometimes he ate it, sometimes he didn’t. He brought us presents through the doggie door whenever he killed something. There were the times we found rabbits feet, other times, feathers, and even once a rabbits head. There was always this concept of pride he exhibited when he brought these things into the house and left them just inside the door. Of course, my wife didn’t like it. She scolded him but he didn’t care.

During a recent move we couldn’t find OJ, we looked for him, tried to find him but he wasn’t around. Then on a Friday I was at the old house to pick up the last of the remaining items and there he was. I put him into a pet carrier and took him to our new house. Something unusual started to happen though, after 2 ½ weeks he wouldn’t quit meowing. He was a very quite cat except when wanting something to eat, but he just wouldn’t stop his meowing. There was something else unusual though, he was constantly crying for, wanting, and seeking out our touch, not just my wife’s touch, but my touch. OJ changed.

Over a period of days OJ didn’t want to go outside. Instead, he demanded constant contact, to be touched, petted, loved on, all unusual attributes for him and something he hadn’t exhibited in over the 7 years we had him. Our cat was not who he used to be. He taught me a lesson.

I believe animals’ desire and want love and affection. I believe OJ wanted to be independent until he realized what it was he had lost. He realized in that almost 3 weeks, he had things better than he realized. He longed for love, touch, affection, and yes, even family.

I wonder sometimes how different are we as human beings. We often seek independence, even independence from God, yet sometimes when we loose it, we are the stubborn ones as we refuse to go back home to the place God wants us to be. We refuse the help and love of family and the lessons life has for us. The truth is; like OJ, love, and a better life is there, we just have to want it. Sometimes we have to do the simple things, like say I’m sorry, or to make decisions to go back home.

There is a story that Jesus tells about a rebellious son in the New Testament. The story is in the later stages of Luke Chapter 15. Ultimately, after loosing almost everything the rebellious son who wanted to live his own life realizes there are better things for him if he just goes home. Eventually the son does home and finds a totally loving and accepting father waiting for him, in fact, the father comes running to him.

I question for myself, am I willing to accept the good things in life or do I run from God, seeking to be independent. Do I value the things I have, like a loving father my God, a loving wife, friends and family? I suspect there are others like me; if so, you can learn the same lessons I have learned from our former cat named OJ. I enjoyed the times with that cat prior to having to let him go. Like the times he sat with me when I originally wrote this. But it was shortly thereafter that I learned another lesson. That is, when we get to the place we should be, then we can get to the place we were meant to be and destined to be.

For OJ that place was to be a farm cat, a mouser. He got to the place where he was miserable wanting outside all of the time. You see, while he needed his family while he needed that touch and love, he also needed to be free to be who God had created him to be. That Ol Tom whom neutering couldn’t even take away the desire, the desire to catch those mice was in his blood, it was in his DNA, it was who God created him to be.

We eventually placed an add on Craigslist and it was amazing, within an hour, we had a phone call from a lady who used to live near where we did in the country. She in fact needed a mouser to help keep the pests out of her barn. I can imagine now, when it is cold, OJ still gets to go inside, but he is at a place where he is being and accomplishing the very things God created him for. I have learned to realize, that those last months OJ sat on my lap, wanted my hand caressing his back was in reality more for me than it was for OJ. Sure, OJ got benefit from it, but so did I. For a period of time, I got to enjoy and share with him my love for cats. Even now, that old orange cat lingers in my memory. It is amazing, that cat desired my love, I was blessed to give it. I know God wants me, wants us to give it to others. Yet in the giving of love is also the understanding of the differences that exist among us all. Despite those differences, we can still for a time, both offer, and receive the love God intends, so that we can ultimately, like OJ go on to completing the purpose of which we were created.

My Lessons From A Dog Video fits in part this topic. To see the video just click on it, if the video doesn’t appear, click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBiIQoRc0uE

What's Up With Television These Days?

Am I the only one who has noticed as of recent the improvement in television programming? I have heard from others that they think there is more originality and better storytelling on television than there are for theatrical release movies. It has me scratching my head and asking; ‘What’s up with that?’

I am not normally one to watch network television, for all kinds of reasons, mainly it has to do with the same old storytelling and frankly the time consumption it takes to watch 42 minutes of programming that takes an hour of your time. That is where I can openly state; ‘Thank God for TiVo and DVR recording!’ With the advent of these devices, I can whip through an hour program in about 44 minutes. I don’t know about you, but for me, time is valuable. With that said, I have discovered several programs this year that are for my wife and I, a step above the rest and programming we consider must watch television, the surprise in all of this for us, it the number of programs on network television.

I recently decided to go through and list my top 10 programs of the year. I will also share a few worth honorable mention.

First the two honorable mentions:

Surprisingly the first two programs on my honorable mention list are on the History Channel and air back to back on Mondays. The two are American Pickers and Pawn Stars. These are two reality programs that explore real people, in their real jobs. American Pickers follows two long time friends as they traverse the countryside looking for what some consider junk, and others consider valuables. The relationship between these two characters and the stories of those they come into contact with is refreshing. On the flip side in Pawn Stars we see the operations of a successful pawn shop in Las Vegas. While we learn about the operations of pawn shops, we also learn about the valuables many people have. While American Pickers falls just short of my top 10 list I find the packaging of these two programs together make them both worthy of honorable mention in my own top 10 list.

There is one other program my wife insisted I put on my list, and I agreed, it is the ABC program, Castle. In this crime drama we see a unique perspective between writer Matt Castle and detective Kate Beckett. Mixed in are original mysteries and the relationships between Castle and Beckett. Castle, a single father, gives his input to help solve crimes while at the same time using his deductive reasoning. In some ways the show is similar to The Mentalist on CBS, but enough unique differences to at least give it an honorable mention spot.

#10 on my list is the new CBS Hit of the season, and a remake with a retelling of an old standard, Hawaii Five – O. Here we see an adequate modernization of characters created in my own youth. As with the original, and other programs such as Miami Vice, this program will contribute to the cultural norms of society, from its music to dress, this program is on the cutting edge. It shows what can be done when one recreates an older program, but at the same time realizing it needs to go in its own direction as much as possible. There is a good blending of characters and enough good stories to keep the viewer going. I especially appreciate the focus on friendship and family.

#9 on my list occurs on Wednesday nights, again on CBS. It is the new program, The Defenders starring Jim Belushi as attorney Nick Morelli and his partner, attorney Pete Kaczmarek played by Jerry O’Connell. This series follows escapades of two real life Vegas Attorneys and the chemistry between O’Connell and Belushi is nothing short of wonderful. We also see a little different twist on the old standard courtroom drama. CBS has done a good job at incorporating story, chemistry, drama and comedy. We also see a different side of the law with a focus on defense attorneys. We see that the stories and perceptions presented by the media of the charged individual does not always mean they are guilty. The Defenders does a good job at presenting value in the old adage, ‘innocent until proven guilty.’ Thankfully it does it in an entertaining way where we see some attorneys who are still willing to stand up and fight against injustice.

#8 on my list is another CBS program, Criminal Minds. This is one of the older programs to make it to my list, this in and of itself not only says something about the quality of this program, but the quality of the new season of programs. Criminal Minds is more than a CSI style network thriller; there is a quality presentation of the profiling procedure and the investigative procedure of understanding human psyche. Dealing primarily with the serial killers and psychotic killers, the characters and chemistry is outstanding. The stories are thought provoking and not what one would expect to see on network television. Criminal Minds is graphic and at times difficult to watch. Much like the highly respected CSI programs it goes a step beyond though in its themes. I appreciate it because each weekly episode can be seen as a stand alone show.

#7 on the list is yet, another CBS program. It has what may be one of the most enjoyable and entertaining characters of any program on television. That is the character of Patrick Jane played beautifully by Simon Baker. The Mentalist, while having strong ongoing themes, stands alone with each episode. This is a character driven show that is fun, entertaining, and enjoyable to watch. The character and plot line are unique enough that one can’t have too many ongoing expectations as to the plot. This season has had enough twists and turns to keep the show in my top 10 despite it also being an older program. The enduring fan base for The Mentalist is not lost. It is in many ways everything good about what television used to be.

#6 on my list is the first from ABC television. It is a new series with one of my favorite actors, Michael Imperioli formerly of HBO’s The Sopranos. Imperioli plays Detective Louis Finch on the crime drama, Detroit 1-8-7. The opening episode of this one grabbed the viewer, and has kept them through out the season. Not since Hill Street Blues have I seen as shocking an opening episode to a series. The character development in this program, especially Detective Finch and his partner, Detective Damon Washington, played by John Michael Hill has something many motion pictures could learn from, character development. The viewer finds themselves caring about these two and other characters in the program. There are always surprises around the corner, and I suspect there will be more by season’s end that will surprise the viewer.

#5 on my list is the favorite of many. While a pay per view network program, Dexter has in many ways replaced the lost and needed entertainment provided by programs like HBO’s The Sopranos. This Showtime favorite has Showtime doing what many once thought unthinkable, that is taking over as the top cable network for television series. The remarkable thing about Dexter is that one finds themselves rooting for a serial killer. If you don’t know the themes and concepts behind the series you may want to be careful before making too quick a judgment as to the appropriateness of this program. While Dexter Morgan is a serial killer, he is one with more of a conscious than one may realize. In most years Dexter would be my top program, this year it took some time to get into the character development, but once it did, it has taken off and soared. Even with the slow development of the early part of the series, it is still strong enough to be #5 on my list. That says something about this terrific all round cast that many consider the best show on television. The advent of this show alone almost makes it worth it to purchase the Showtime package. The fact that Showtime has another program on my top 10 list makes Showtime a worthwhile purchase.

#4 on my list is another Showtime program, The Big C. Now understand, while a short series it is still strong enough to do two things for me. One is to have the program at #4 on my list, the other is to do as many critics have already stated, have Laura Linney’s name placed on the Emmy for best actress in a television series. One shouldn’t stop there though, while there is an almost certainty of her winning this award, her performance is far from the only outstanding performance. The top 4 of my top 10 is so close that either program could have almost gone in any of those spots, if this series had been longer, it would have been no contest. This series dealt with a character going through terminal cancer, but much more than that. There was everything from rude neighbors, to family, affairs, and learning from mistakes. There was even the exploration of faith and eternity explored in beautiful, touching, thought provoking ways. There was one episode dealing with forgiveness, in of all places, a church that was simply breathtaking. Showtime in this program did everything right. There were more than a few teary moments and Laura Linney, Oliver Platt, Phyllis Somerville, John Hickey, Idris Elba and Gabourey Sidibe made up the best ensemble cast not just in television this year, but the best ensemble cast period. Not only was The Big C refreshing for television programming, it was thought provoking and for many, life changing.

#3 on my list will be for many a shocking surprise, the program on The History Channel is a spinoff series and far more suspenseful, entertaining, and breathtaking than its predecessor, Ice Road Truckers. The program, IRT Deadliest Roads is not only a challenging portrayal of culture, it is a hold your breath program. IRT Deadliest Roads follows truckers from the television series Ice Road Truckers as they drive in India’s Himalayan Mountains. We see the exploits of several truckers driving on roads that are what most would consider undriveable. We also see the exploration of a culture in their treatment of women and road side manners. The next time you get caught up with the headaches of driving the freeway during rush hour, DVR any episode of this program and push play on the DVR, it won’t take long to help you realize, it could be worse. Fortunately, reality television doesn’t get any better than this years IRT Deadliest Roads. We see more than just driving on roads though, we see people who care for each other, stand beside to help each other, and then challenge themselves in their choice of job over family. We see real emotions, and real life situations where the essence of what some thought was right is challenged.

#2 on my list will be a large surprise to many, AMC’s The Walking Dead. Another short series for a television program, but what they pack into this series is far more than a simple Zombie film. This program pays tribute to the George Romero classic Night of the Living Dead. The Walking Dead is well acted, features some of the best special effects, period on television or the big screen, and has a story and character development to boot. This program is not for the kiddies, but neither should it be ignored by those who are opposed to gore, or horror formats. This is more than a gore fest, (which at times it is); it is also an exploration of the human condition and societal issues. When one watches this program, they will likely think of the world of television in the past. Some will be offended that non pay television programming has gone as far as this one has. It airs on Sunday nights and is late enough that children shouldn’t be watching, but older children, with discussion from family will likely get more out of it than many realize, if one looks for the deeper themes. The strength of The Walking Dead is the story and the exploration of today’s society. Unfortunately many won’t stay long enough to see that due to the graphic nature of the program. That is unfortunate because this program has a lot to say, and is at a deserved #2 on my list. If looking for an exploration of commitment to others, the advent of hope, and the need to let others go this program has a lot to say, while at the same time, being entertaining.

#1 is in my opinion, the CBS new show, Blue Bloods. In a simple phrase, Tom Selleck is back, and he is back on top. Blue Bloods follows the exploits of New York City Police Commissioner Frank Reagan, (Tom Selleck) and his family which are all involved in some way in law enforcement. The series does not feature any single character as a primary character, it is more of an ensemble cast and the underlying story of family is the primary reason I enjoy this program. As many likely realize, values of programming are important to me, what a program provides beyond what is seen on screen is one of the primary things that drives me to the program. So far, this season of Blue Bloods has been exceptional.

In each episode of Blue Bloods there have been various ongoing themes which I greatly value. In each episode of the season so far, you see the value of family, including at times, even in the dysfunction, the importance of coming together. We can see that despite the differences that often exist, that coming together, and valuing each other is important. The program does this in a variety of ways, not just in conflict, but in little things often lost. In each episode we see the family together around the dinner table, realizing among themselves the value of family, and the roles of those in the family. We also see a tribute and respect paid to the men and women of law enforcement. While there are undoubtedly those who blacken the eye of law enforcement, it is refreshing to see a program pay obvious tribute to law enforcement and those making the sacrifices to protect others. We also see the importance of faith in the family unit. Not just on occasion, but so far, in every episode we see the family come together to pray, whether around the table or over the casket of a fellow officer killed in battle. The value of prayer and faith is refreshing to see, especially when done in a positive light, not in a preachy way, but a subtle way that will eventually plant the seeds of thought for the viewer to also see the value of faith.

With Blue Bloods not only do we have in my humble opinion the best program of the season, CBS has to be recognized for their outstanding work at providing what is to me, the best network on television. After that, The Discovery Channel and Showtime have a lot to offer, but thankfully it isn’t just these networks and programs that are doing wonderful things, we see other programs continue on HBO like True Blood, and even other networks like ABC. While there are those that still need to catch up, it is refreshing to see television have such an impact on society, not just in the world of entertainment, but with the social needs many have. While the economy is down, we don’t have to be left behind in quality entertainment, we don’t have to be left behind because the programming provided on television has once again, started to have an impact, an impact not just in the ‘free’ entertainment provided at home, but also in quality that is unmatched in many of the theatrical, high cost movies. Sure there are those who are still flocking to the theater, but for some of us, thankfully there is more to do at home with our families in an affordable, enjoyable way. Thankfully, some of those programs like those mentioned above also realize and respect the value of family, even when zombies walk or the police protect, there are things we can all appreciate and value from.

I realize that for many, many of your favorites are left off. We all have our own opinions, our own taste, our own reasons. Feel free to post your thoughts here and enter the discussion, the discussion where we might find out about a new program we haven’t seen before, a program that may just touch us and inspire us in ways we hadn’t imagined.

The following is a video from Blue Bloods. It exemplifies the things I like about the show. To watch the video, just click on it, if the video doesn't appear, click on the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEvI78n8y4M&feature=channel

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Santa Claus & Serving Others

Since I was a small child, I loved Santa, despite being a poor child and growing up in a dysfunctional family; I still loved Santa. Over the years I have come to know the true story behind the real St. Nicholas and the history behind the character we know as Santa Claus. I have written a one man play where I present the story of The Real St. Nick and Jesus. In that presentation, I tell the origins of both the historical and mythical character.

As a Santa I am unique, I am also a pastor that uses my Santa project to assist in ministry and/or service related projects. Last year for example I was Santa to the Homeless in Wichita KS as was featured on the local news programs, and I also collected presents to give to poor and needy children, where I delivered those presents, yes on Christmas Eve. For those who remember last Christmas Eve, that was a chore as we had a snow storm, but I was still there with my elves delivering love and smiles on the faces of children in our community.

This year we will continue the Santa for the Homeless project where we will deliver Winter Wear to the homeless in the Downtown Wichita area. This year is unique in that we are also recruiting people from across the country to also help with the project in their own communities where we are encouraging people to do something for someone less fortunate on December 18. On this date Wichita will once again see Santa at the Downtown library handing out needed items to the homeless. We also plan on delivering presents again on Christmas Eve, rain, or snow. If we did it in last years blizzard we can do it this year.

To assist in this project and the ongoing ministry I am involved in, you can hire me out to be Santa for your event. I am presently booking dates and times for this and would be honored to serve you. I have an original suit and a joyous laugh. I also have other Santa’s which have been approved that I can book out as the times and dates start to fill up. The rates vary, and of course we also consider some charity events as time permits, but our paying customers have to come first.

Rates for Santa are as follows:

November 25 – December 17: $75 per half hour, $125 per hour, maximum, $250 for up to 6 hours for school day events etc…

December 18 – December 23: $100 per half hour, $150 per hour, maximum, $300 for up to 6 hours for school day events, etc…

December 24 - $150 per half hour, $200 per hour, maximum of $500, for 5 hour event.

Some will think the prices are high, some will think they are low. I realize they are a little higher than many standard Santa rates, but realize, the proceeds of this project and what is done with them, you also get what you pay for, and I really do have a great time blessing and being there for the kids. As a father, and now a grandfather, I also understand and appreciate the history behind the character. I doubt many have studied the character as much as I have. I even communicate with kids on a minimal basis with sign language, and this year, am using my real hair and beard.

To schedule events, contact me at one of the following methods, mike@furches.org or call 316-807-8034. Dates are already booking and cancellations with less than 48 hour notice are still responsible for full payment. I have performed at various schools, museums, grocery stores and more in the Wichita area.

For those who would like to contribute to the cause we still are in need of toys for the children, and winter items for the homeless (no ankle socks please, regular socks yes) You can contact us for information related to those items or you can make an online donation at the links provided to help with the costs of these items. You can also email regarding the donation of items for the projects. We would also invite you to attend a training for the project at Pawnee Avenue Church of God on December 10 from 7 – 8:30 PM and attend the give away on December 18 with us.

To see more on this years project, click here:

To see the video from last year; see below. If the video doesn’t appear, click on the link provided.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGNKN2EpKNE

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

When It Rains, It Pours

I don’t always appreciate clichés but sometimes they seem to be like a cold ice cream cone on a hot summer day, they just seem to hit the spot. Recently there has been a lot going on in my life and it seems as if there is one particular cliché that seems to apply not only to my life, but the life of many of those around me. Have you ever heard the cliché, ‘it seems like when it rains, it pours’?

The Bible has a lot of stories in it; some of those are seen in various ways. They are seen as either, analogies, metaphor, allegory, even history. One story you see early on is the story of Noah. In the story you see a people who have turned from God, and one character, Noah, who the people see as being crazy. Noah has a one on one chat room set up with God. In the dialog, Noah gets the text that the world is coming to an end, and it is time to start building a boat. Noah because he is a BFF with God decides to listen to the directions and starts building his boat. The only thing is; the people think Noah is a more off the deep end than most of us would feel comfortable with. That doesn’t change Noah’s disposition though, he keeps on moving forward, he keeps on working, despite the obvious things like, they had never experienced rain, had never seen a flood, they lived in a land locked area, and had never built a boat. Noah kept the speed dial set on God, and was in constant communication by chat, text, or direct conversation.

Of course the story ends with a massive flood where most everyone dies. It starts to rain, and for those outside of the boat, that cliché comes true, it starts to pour. Despite the 40 days in the Ark, Noah and some of his family are not so confident. Tough times lay ahead, but in the tough time, God sends a rainbow as a symbol of hope to an enduring promise and a bright future. That story in Genesis 9 has been told, debated, and argued for years as to whether or not it is legitimate. I challenge that no matter what perspective one takes, there is no doubt; there are lessons in life that we can learn from, and allow to inspire us.

I know, believe me, of the heartaches, difficulties, and hard times that come about in life. It seems at times that when life starts to get tough that one thing builds on the other. At times, it really does seem like when it rains it pours. I realize now, living in Kansas that sometimes the storms of life does damage. There is sometimes damage so severe that there is no other option but to rebuild. Where I live now, there is the spirit of Kansans, the spirit of those in the Central Plains that moves on and shows a resiliency that is not forgotten or lost. Whether it is the spirit of those who crossed on the Santa Fe or Chisholm Trails, the slaves who came west and established their own towns and mixed in with the accepting population of ranchers and farmers, or those who formed the traditionally historic Buffalo Soldiers, we can see an impressive resiliency. There are even those Mennonites, many which were put into prison camps during World War 2 for their pacifist attitudes that brought the Winter Red Wheat to America that helped make it the Worlds Bread Basket. There are those on the plains of this country that had to go through unbearable storms. Yet, they persevered, stuck it out, and for many, experienced the rainbows of life.

I recall several years ago speaking with an elderly Mennonite lady regarding her church, which I was a member at, outside of Tulsa during the years of World War 2. The Mennonites are traditionally people of peace. She shared with me the stories of how others bullied her due to her religious beliefs and because of her family speaking German during a time of war. This wonderful lady was one of those who suffered through the trials of life, yet she is one who ended up raising her children, was a part of a church that has grown and had a lasting impact on the community. I often wonder if those at the church realize the impact and history of women like this that made it ultimately possible for that church to be the church it is. I don’t know. I would hope there would be those who remembered that through the trials of others, we often have the experience of the rainbows we experience.

The truth is, not all of us always get to see the rainbows. I could share some feel good, isn’t everything wonderful message here, but that wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is, some experience the rainbows, others are apart of the process where we may never see the rainbow, but we can be honored and blessed to know that we were a part of something that provided rainbows for others. That is the sacrifice many of us make, it is the storms of life that we experience. I know about all of the feel good promises, all of the wonderful encouragement that many give, but I also know about reality, the reality of things I have seen, the reality of the things I have experienced. The truth is, some of us like Moses won’t always get to enter into the Promised Land, and some of us will be blessed just to get to see it. One thing I have learned, one thing I have tried to grasp onto which my faith provides is a hope, not per say a hope where I get what I want now, but a hope, that one day, I will experience eternal life, and in the presence of God, I will get to experience the goodness that God provides for me.

When the storms of life hit, my rainbow isn’t in always getting to see the rainbow, but in knowing that at some point, the rainbow will come out, when it does, I hope, I pray that others that maybe my life has touched can hang in there, endure, and ultimately see it. If my example, if my life has helped in that, I have the hope, the desire that I will know of that in my ultimate reward, my ultimate hope, in being there alongside God in Heaven. It is a promise that is promised in the Bible.

Romans 2:6, 7 (Contemporary English Version)

(6) God will reward each of us for what we have done. (7) He will give eternal life to everyone who has patiently done what is good in the hope of receiving glory, honor, and life that lasts forever.

Does it seem like in life that when it rains it pours? You bet it does, but also remember, at the end of the storm, whether literally or figuratively, through our relationship with Jesus, there is a rainbow. For those experiencing difficulties, let’s also take on the attitude of those Midwestern folks, especially those Mennonites who are often among the first to show up in a time of difficulty, and the last to leave during the time of recovery. Let’s be there for each other. Let’s stop throwing blame when another is going through rough times, let’s be there for them and share in our love, our experiences, and our life. Why? Because there is something healing in that concept of loving and treating others the way we would like to be. There is something holy in that process, so holy that if we mirror the example set by the one who ultimately set the example, we will realize that yes, it is true, others will see Jesus in us. I don’t know about you, but that is my goal, my hope. That in even in the storms of my life, that others will see the ability to endure, that is endure in the hope that is provided by Jesus Christ. May we all desire to weather the storms, and experience the rainbows, when it is too tough to seemingly endure, may we be there for each other.

Sometimes it all comes down to how we see things. For that today, I include 2 videos. If for some reason they don't appear, just click on the link. Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D6pPgwafq0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98P-gu_vMRc

Just For You

You are important and I want you to know that you can feel free to contact me at any time. I always try to respond to comments posted here, when appropriate, and have learned from my work as a counselor and pastor that people need to know that they are important. My contact information is available and I encourage you to contact me when need be. The fact that you are a real person is not lost on me. While you are at it, if needing a place to plug in, you can also join and become a part of The Virtual Pew. Message boards and interaction are available there as well. Thanks for visiting and know that God loves you and so do I.