Lessons Learned After 40+ Years of Helping Others

I have been helping others for over 40 years now, hard to believe for some but true. It all started as a child. I had an uncle who lived with my Grandmother and Grandfather.  They were also helping raise me. Aaron was injured while in the Army in Germany.  He was thrown off a train for flirting with a girl, he became blind and obtained a Traumatic Brain Injury. He later developed what I am confident was schizophrenic tendencies. Now I believe my grandmother did too much for Aaron, there were little things I felt he could do for himself and ultimately he did. One can read about some of that in my book The Keystone Kid. Ultimately there were things he learned from me, like how to tell how much money he had, despite being blind, and what the date was. There were things we could do to improve his memory issues. This is where it started for me, as a child with the desire to help others help themselves which has continued until this day.

Over all of those years there were many mistakes I made, I have been far from perfect, some will even say I have become callused and at times, they may even say, I don't care.  Nothing could be further from the truth but until one has had people they are helping die because not everyone listened to the advice you gave or until you have been robbed or had to file a restraining order against someone who has threatened your life, you just may not know. Yet despite the difficulties, the threats on our lives, and having precious family items stolen, we continue. 

There are things to learn about helping others, one thing to take into consideration is are you really helping, or are you helping them stay in their condition. What is easily debatable is not helping anyone except possibly yourself with good feelings of doing good, however, if not doing good, and you are helping someone stay in their situation, not improving their lives, are you really helping? While I am confident that God has called some to the first line of ministry, I have to wonder, where are those ministries that help people get on their feet and stay there? The bible talks about hope, there is the contribution to hopes and dreams, gifts, and talents that is addressed. While there are those that are called to the 1st step of helping, what is being done to help those you are helping get beyond their situation? Believe me, I am aware of the need of these ministries but I have to ask, what is more important to continually give fish, or to teach one to fish?  I am honored to say, I can point to many individuals, likely hundreds who were dependent on the system, the government, the survive by any means necessary crowd. I can also say there are hundreds who now live in their own homes, have jobs, have found careers, and for many others, maybe they didn't get to the place of total independence but they got to the place where they will tell you they are contributing to the lives of others and improving our world. I like to reference the Bible because that is my measuring stick, so here goes, can you point to fruit in your work?  The Bible is clear, you will tell them by their fruit! That said, fruit is a viable item, it comes about through the pruning process of a tree, the upkeep of a tree, the tree is an incredible creation, but fruit just doesn't happen. There is also the curse of the fig tree, anyone remember that story? Might be worth reading in Matthew 21.

Here are a few things I have learned from my mistakes. First the lesson of Josh. Josh was a friend I invested a lot of time with over the course of 3 years. I invited him to come hear me speak once and he did. While there I pointed him out as an example of how to do something in regards to reaching others. While it wasn't intended, I had turned him from an individual to a project where it appeared it was more important to make myself look good than to treat him like a human being. It was a SERIOUS MISTAKE! I really did love him, but I put my desires above his feelings. That incident cost me years of investment as a friend and no matter how much I tried to mend fences with Josh, it still hasn't happened. 

Now I am not saying this to be negative towards any group or person, I am saying it to illustrate a lesson I learned from my mistake. The example of Josh is one of the reasons I seldom take photos of me and the homeless. I don't want them to think I am taking advantage of them. A few years ago I used a photo that I pulled off of Google via searching "public domain homeless" for The Virtual Pew, what ensued was a nightmare.  I used the photo in an article, even though I did that google, it was apparently owned by someone who had not made it public domain. He was taking photos of the homeless and profiting off them, while at the same time not giving the homeless anything for those photos. I ended up having to make a donation to a library, a homeless program, and some other costs involved.

There is that example but also how for years while working in the music business, I seldom if ever took any photos with any of the music stars I worked with and there were many of them. I hardly ever did it because I thought it demeaned my relationship with them. Now, I don't quite feel that way, it possible and appropriate at times to take the photos, but I am careful, seek permission, I try to always ask them I try to make sure it is okay. I won't use any person as a project, I want to make sure they know I am a friend and with past experiences, I have learned that sometimes, even 2 or 3 years isn't enough time to garnish that trust.  

Another lesson I have learned is the Show Me Principal. For those that don't know, Missouri is known as "The Show Me State." Why is this important? I have learned to trust the call from God, to believe in him, and to also be thankful that sometimes he uses people to follow through with the things they have promised. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, we just finished serving a home style Thanksgiving meal with various homeless people, friends, and family. Once again, a local organization who promised us things, at least 3 if not 4 times now, has once again, not followed through on what they promised. After the first let down a couple of years ago I learned, it is important to have a back-up and from here on out that so called ministries and organizations will have to show me and I just won't believe on blind faith that they will follow through with what they have promised. The promise of something is a heck of a lot different than delivering that something. I follow a faith practice where our yes is to be yes, and our no is supposed to be no. I firmly believe that broken promises aren't to me, they are to those being ministered to. I have learned not to believe those who don't keep their promises, I don't count on them. It burdens me to see other individuals, other ministries get sucked into their lies and or self promotion desires of giving to these groups, why? Simple see the Josh above, where we make people projects instead of seeing them real people is dangerous. It also discredits the value system that Jesus of Nazareth would have us follow, to keep our word, to be people of truth, beyond that, it takes away needed resources from ministries that really care.

The next thing I will conclude with. While there is more I will say, this is what I call The Andre Crouch principle where; "Jesus is the answer for the world today, above him there's no other, for Jesus is the way." Now this will offend some but it is what I believe. I believe the Bible means exactly what it says when it says the following, "What does it profit anyone to gain the whole world and lose their soul?" "There is no other name under Heaven where anyone can be saved (not just a spiritual salvation) other than the name of Jesus." It can be summated in many places through the Bible.

A huge critical part of sharing that belief is in the installation and importance of hope that we are commanded to practice including these verses:

Romans 5:2-5 ~ 2 Christ has also introduced us to God’s undeserved kindness on which we take our stand. So we are happy, as we look forward to sharing in the glory of God. 3 But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. 4 And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope 5 that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.

1 Corinthians 15:19 If our hope in Christ is good only for this life, we are worse off than anyone else.

Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

There are also quotes that help illustrate some of the lessons I have learned on hope:

“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair...” ― Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Fall of Atlantis

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.” ― J.D. Stroube, Caged by Damnation

Here is a concern I have, it is as if many of those in ministry don't see the potential in the people they are helping in the same way God does. We think it is okay to help keep them in their poverty, whether spiritual or literal, to do little or nothing to help them beyond their situation. The work of the Gospel is hard, we like to make it easy, yet, Jesus tells us to take up our cross daily, when he knew very well what the cross implied. There is old adage, God doesn't make junk. This doesn't imply that wealth is a measure of success, but neither does it allow for the dismissal of ones dreams, not matter how good, or how bad their situation. We should be about helping people, helping them stay in their problem is not helping them. I have seen so much effort to keep people where they are at, while giving every excuse why they are not helping them get back on their feet and accomplish their dreams. While there are those called to serve people where they are at, whether they be homeless, employed, or whatever. I believe any ministry should be at least working with others who are helping people obtain their dreams, helping them rediscover a sustainable life as much as possible, moving towards independence. The Bible is clear on this expectation.  

There is another question we have to ask, is the ministry work we do for ourselves or for those we are called to serve? If for ourselves it is easy to not do more, it is easy to allow those we are trying to help stay in their situation. I have said for years; if donating food to a food drive, don't donate things you won't eat, if you don't eat out of dented cans, don't give dented cans. On the flip side, when we help others, if we aren't willing to live in their situation, don't do things that help them stay in their situation. I was homeless for almost 2 1/2 years, living and staying wherever I could find, including a YMCA transient center and I'll be honest, I didn't like it! I like my situation far better now than then. Why would I help someone stay in a situation I didn't like? There is an old saying, we need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before we can understand them.

I recently wrote about the starfish parable where you take a starfish, throw it back in the ocean and while the beach is cluttered with tons of starfish, someone questions what you are doing and saying it doesn't make a difference, you throw a starfish back and say, it makes a difference for that one. Here is my concern, are we doing ministry where we throw the starfish back and it never makes it to the ocean? If so, then we are doing more harm than good because of the damage of the impact to the starfish and the potential to offer false hope as opposed to real hope. Think about it.

Now some may think this is only an effort to raise awareness or money for what we do through The Virtual Pew and Mosaic, let me make clear, NOPE! NOT! If someone supports our work, fine, it's GOOD, we will accept it, but my hope and my prayer is that people will contemplate this not for the purpose of giving money but instead for the way WE do ministry, now that would be, GREAT! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyITjtiUUc

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry.  Believe me there is much more going on than most realize.  I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work.  Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.



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Soup Kitchen Mentality, There Has To Be More Than Just Soup!

Sometimes it is better to use caution prior to writing something and then there are times one needs to say what needs to be said. Others will see the comments from today’s posting as something I should use caution with. I am doing that, but please understand; I have quite a few years of working with, being with and of serving the poor, homeless, mentally ill, and others often neglected by society under my belt. What I write is from experience, and personal, first hand observation. It is with this perspective that I hope people seriously think about the words I am putting on paper. I will assure you, I am fully convinced, that unless we do, we as a society (speaking specifically of America) and we as a Church, are quite possibly doing more harm than good with the populations we serve, albeit with good intentions.

Many have heard the comment that; ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ In this saying is the implication that no matter how much good is intended, it is possible that nothing of value is being accomplished in the work one is doing. I believe with all of my heart that our politicians, care providers, and yes the Church are quite possibly doing more harm than good. Let me explain.

It has been stated by some that the Bible speaks about poverty in over 2,000 verses. While I personally don’t know if that is true, (I tend to think it is not), one can’t deny the reality that the Bible does speak quite a bit about poverty, the poor, orphans, widows and so forth. There is no denying the reality of Matthew 25 when Jesus clearly states, that what we do for the least of these is of catamount importance. As a follower of Jesus, it is simple, I am commanded to serve, and help the poor. The question becomes though, what is helping the poor?

It is in the definition of help that many have come to irreparable points of debate. Some say the government should have no role in helping the poor, some say God judges nations for their treatment of the less fortunate, and unfortunately, many perspectives are based not on Biblical guidelines, but on political influence. It is after working with the poor and disadvantaged for over 30 years that I have come to the conclusions I have. I am aware that for many, those views will be controversial.

Let me be clear from the outset of my ongoing experiences. My wife and I have as an act of faith, given back much of our material possessions to carry out the ministry we do. For many years of our life we have had people living with us, and our children grew up seeing those people living with us, and celebrating holidays with us. My daughter, now approaching 30, has had more Thanksgivings with the mentally ill, than she has had with extended family. My wife and I still live by the concepts taught by Ron Sider in the Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger book. We are both an active part of our church which has as a point of emphasis, serving the poor. I am with the homeless and mentally ill approximately 6 days a week, for extended hours. Through our church we operate programs for the homeless at least 5 days a week and we located to our present location to be of service to the downtown community including the homeless. To be blunt, I value and have exhibited a life of service to the poor and homeless. This concept continues today, and will continue tomorrow. I say this not to boast, but to assure you, if it is possible with me, it is possible with we.

Some may ask, with my perspective of helping the poor and the belief that all followers of Jesus are commanded to do as much, what is the problem regarding governments, churches, and individuals doing more harm than good? A part of it is sense of competition that exists among these groups.

The overwhelming majority of programs established for the poor, and the homeless in my opinion should be largely defunded and new programs, on a limited basis reestablished to require effectiveness in what they are doing. The funding of keeping people in a disadvantaged state is largely what is taking place in many agencies. There is an old missionary concept that says, ‘It is better to teach a man to fish than to give them a fish. When you give him a fish you feed him for a day, when you teach him to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.’ I challenge, when you teach a man to fish, not only do you feed him for a lifetime, you feed his family for a lifetime. That individual also teaches others around them something that has them in effect, changing and feeding their families for a lifetime. Unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of our programs and tax dollars are providing a perpetual cycle that teaches laziness and an attitude of entitlement, thus doing more harm than good.

While we may have read passages that command us to feed, help, and touch, we can’t forget about the passages that encourage us to work, find value, and discover our purpose in serving our fellow human being. Unfortunately, many programs provide just enough to get by from day to day but we haven’t done what is necessary to help one provide for them in the long term. Not only is this a shame, I think it is a sin.

I was reminded today that for a large percentage of folks, as much as 35% of the homeless, they are stuck in their environment no matter what. While this is a shame, and we should help these people, we can’t ignore the shame of not doing what is necessary to help the other 65% get back on their feet and rediscover their life. Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of programs and ministries I have come into contact with have as a focus the 35% while ignoring the 65% who can, and should be helped to get back on their feet. As a result, through the definition of ‘ministry’ we have created systems that develop a sense of entitlement and in reality cause dependency as opposed to independence. On this point, there is blame that could go around, but the bulk of the blame has to go to those who deserve it, those who have created systems of service that give a man a fish as opposed to teaching him to fish.

Today I was reminded that as hard as it is, there are those who appreciate being taught how to fish. For some, it has been years of going through what they call disrespectful services, or requirements to realize they aren’t worth more than those services see them as, a no good homeless or poor person. I am reminded, it is as one believes in the abilities and talents of others, created in the majesty and image of God that they will see themselves as worth while and as one who can do more, and in fact, wants to do more. I saw it today as individuals thanked me for a program that respects them, cares about their welfare, sees them as equals, and as people deserving of being served as opposed to something less. A pat on a man’s stomach, a hug for a lady washing dishes, a touch of sympathy for a man needing glasses, it causes one to want more for themselves as they see themselves as someone with potential, worth a touch, and worthy of love for the first time in a long time. When the Bible talks about Jesus touching the sick, the down and out, the prostitute, the hungry, the homeless, the leper and more, there is more implied than we sometimes recognize. It is in touching someone that he showed love, that he showed their worth. He did more than touch their bodies; He touched their souls with a penetrating love that had not been experienced in some time, and for some, ever.

I don’t need to go on a lengthy discourse here, but let me ask the question, are you supporting ministries that give fish or teach how to fish. Have you spent enough time with the homeless to understand where they are coming from and what they believe or see? For those that do spend time with these folks, you will quickly learn how they know how the systems and approaches have failed them. It is easier to send a few dollars to a cause and never really know that cause than it is to spend time with the people being served. If you spend time with the people, you won’t often hear the same things you are being told by the agencies. Go into one of these programs as a homeless person undercover and see for yourself. Don’t just do it for a day, do it for a week and get a real taste of what life is like when you are treated like a piece of dirt with little or no value, even from those who say they are in ministry.

It is so easy to just send money, let me remind you of something, as strange as it may seem, God don’t need your money. What God wants and desires are for you to get your hands dirty. He desires for you to touch and to love the undesirable. When you do, you will find out that the undesirable really isn’t undesirable; it is in reality, Jesus. Remember the words of Jesus, ‘What you have done for the least of these, you have done for me.’ Bono from U2 is right, why worry about what to do or how to get close to Jesus. We know that Jesus is already with the poor, He is already among their mist, why not go to the place where we know Jesus is.

Now in closing, don’t assume that I am ignoring the reality that the Bible has some strong statements regarding the poor, the lazy and so forth. I haven’t forgotten, but neither have I forgotten the concept of doing more than just giving bread or water, we are called to serve a savior who has come to give us life and to give it to us more abundantly. God has the desire that people love themselves, no matter their condition, but He also would have us love others, not just feeding them, but in providing opportunity to know, and experience, the fullness of what God has for them. For many, this will include finding a home, getting a job, being a part of a loving community and more. Unfortunately, few places exist that provide these things. It is why I am honored to be at Mosaic and with The Virtual Pew though, we try to do these things. While it is very hard and we are relearning this new process, it is well worth it.

Today, I ask you to be willing to get your hands dirty; touch the person you are called to love, not metaphorically, but literally. Encourage work survival skills instead of simple day to day survival skills. Advocate for programs, churches and agencies that do more than just feed, have the expectation that we do more, because we can, and we should.

Now as I close today, check out the verses that talk about laziness. As you read these, understand I am advocating for doing more, not less, but I am also advocating that we do something that is effective, putting Band-Aids on a persons heart isn’t much of help for one that has just gone through heart surgery. Neither is a simple feeding of a man or woman who needs to learn living skills or work skills. Let’s teach people how to fish instead of just giving fish.

Now those verses I was telling you about:

Work hard, and you will be a leader; be lazy, and you will end up a slave. ~ Proverbs 19:15

If you are lazy and sleep your time away, you will starve. ~ Proverbs 12:24

Laziness leads to poverty; hard work makes you rich. ~ Proverbs 10:4

You lazy people can learn by watching an anthill.

(7) Ants don't have leaders, (8) but they store up food during harvest season.

(9) How long will you lie there doing nothing at all? When are you going to get up and stop sleeping?

(10) Sleep a little. Doze a little. Fold your hands and twiddle your thumbs.

(11) Suddenly, everything is gone, as though it had been taken by an armed robber. ~ Proverbs 6:6-11

Having a lazy person on the job is like a mouth full of vinegar or smoke in your eyes. ~ Proverbs 10: 26

Work hard, and you will be a leader; be lazy, and you will end up a slave. ~ Proverbs 12:24

Anyone too lazy to cook will starve, but a hard worker is a valuable treasure. ~ Proverbs 12:27

No matter how much you want, laziness won't help a bit, but hard work will reward you with more than enough. ~ Proverbs 13:4

A lazy person’s way is blocked with briers, but the path of the upright is an open highway. ~ Proverbs 15:9

Being lazy is no different from being a troublemaker. ~ Proverbs 18:9

Some people are too lazy to lift a hand to feed themselves. ~ Proverbs 19:24

If you are too lazy to plow, don't expect a harvest. ~ Proverbs 20:4

As the door turns on its hinges, so does the lazy man [move not from his place] upon his bed. ~ Proverbs 26:13

Don't be so lazy that you say, "If I go to work, a lion will eat me! ~ Proverbs 22:14

The servant who had been given one thousand coins then came in and said, "Sir, I know that you are hard to get along with. You harvest what you don't plant and gather crops where you haven't scattered seed. (25) I was frightened and went out and hid your money in the ground. Here is every single coin!"

(26) The master of the servant told him, "You are lazy and good-for-nothing! You know that I harvest what I don't plant and gather crops where I haven't scattered seed. (27) You could have at least put my money in the bank, so that I could have earned interest on it."

(28) Then the master said, "Now your money will be taken away and given to the servant with ten thousand coins! (29) Everyone who has something will be given more, and they will have more than enough. But everything will be taken from those who don't have anything. (30) You are a worthless servant, and you will be thrown out into the dark where people will cry and grit their teeth in pain." ~ Matthew 25:24-30

Then you would never be lazy. You would be following the example of those who had faith and were patient until God kept his promise to them. ~ Hebrews 6:12

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest. ~ Proverbs 20:4

Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work. ~ Proverbs 21:25

Take it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

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When A Homeless Man Worships

For those that don’t know, not only am I the pastor of The Virtual Pew, but I am also the pastor of a brick and mortar church named Mosaic in Wichita Kansas. We meet in the heart of downtown Wichita, a location we moved to for various reasons including, the desire to reach the arts community, to be in the heart of the city to have an impact on the city, including all of those in the area, but to also carry out what we believe to be a huge part of the mission of Jesus, serving the homeless and the poor. We located to a place one block from our cities largest homeless gathering, the downtown public library. We eventually want to be open every day to serve the homeless but for now we are progressing appropriately and as God provides, that said, something special happened yesterday.

One of the things I do for myself, (yes there is selfish intent although I am willing to share) is to play bass guitar on the worship team. Now don’t get me wrong here, even though I am the pastor, (we are all ministers, some are pastors and I am the senior pastor at Mosaic) I still submit to the leadership of our worship pastor, Chris Marshall, when playing music. Chris has shown tremendous leadership and the ability to be used by God. He seems to always review my sermons, and seek the guidance from God as to the songs to be used in the service. He has a great way of adapting some of the old hymns that we use as we pay honor to the past, and find newer songs to use for the bulk of worship. He has even adapted some popular non church songs and found ways to use them in church. I especially like the Zydeco styled worship tunes he comes up with at times, especially using some of those old hymns.

Yesterday was a special day. It was the first day where I had made a minor effort to reach out to some of the downtown homeless community. We are doing this gradually as we make sure we have the appropriate help and funds in place. I have gladly offered my salary back to the church so we can be in the place we are to minister. My heart was paid back so much more yesterday as we had our first pot-luck meal and homeless folks among other guest in attendance. It was great to see everyone, from old friends; to new friends, we were there to serve but we were also served by those there.

As we concluded worship we played the song, How Great Thou Art. Most folks had been standing for the duration of our worship service. We had a time where folks could sit prior to our last song as we took some prayer requests. We started playing again and as I looked out over the gathering, after about the 2nd verse of How Great Thou Art, I noticed one of the homeless guys near the back, standing, eyes closed, worshiping God as he sang the memorized lyrics to the song. I was moved to a point that I was able to worship. I have had a little while to think about it, I have concluded; God will use us in ways we never expected if we allow him. We often make excuses to not come to the place of allowing God to live and breathe through us. This guy though, who seemingly had nothing, has a relationship with God that inspired me, and I believe, others.

Sometimes, when we come to a place of surrender and acceptance, God will do incredible things, with, for, and through us. There comes a point though that we have to surrender, and accept the things God has for us. The question I have been challenged with is this, if a homeless guy, having no place to lay his head, who has only the clothes on his back, can come to a place of bringing honor and sincere worship to God, what is my excuse? One of the beautiful things of doing the ministry work I do is this isn’t just words on a computer screen I have typed, it is a real, honest to goodness life observation. I am reminded of the words of Larry Norman in one of his songs; “We can’t see nothing if we close our eyes.” At Mosaic I pray God gives us ears to hear what the Spirit would say to our church, from now on, I will also pray God gives us eyes to see. I would love to see others opening up their eyes and in the process be moved and motivated to love God more. When we are around those who are hurting, I think we will see them inclined to not blame God so much. We may see their desire to seek God from their knees. May we all come to that place with a willingness to be on our knees when we seek to serve and live in the presence of a Holy God no matter how much we have, or not. In our weakness, we will discover, and experience God’s strength. It is my desire to experience that more, not less; I also realize it is a valuable gift that one with little gave to me. May I in return at least have the desire, ability, and will to offer love and while Silver and Gold have I none, I will realize, the gift of Jesus is far more valuable.

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Untitled from Mosaic Church on Vimeo.

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