Over the years I have lived a life that was filled with lies, hidden agendas, and deep pain. All because I was afraid to talk about the physical and sexual abuse I experienced as a child and the life I ended up living as a result of, ‘not knowing better.’
Some will be shocked at the concept of ‘not knowing better’ regarding physical and sexual abuse, especially when the pain comes out in the victim in the form of sexual perversion, and the reality that I became a bully in my relationship with others. As I have stated for a number of years and in my book The Keystone Kid, how is a child who has never known better to have an appropriate understanding of sexuality or relationship if all they have known is abuse? They learn to hide their feelings because those who have abused them have had them hide the events of their life. Many see the life of grown survivors who has not dealt with the abuse, has a hidden agenda due to embarrassment, pain, and more. Many in my life could see through the pain, and anger, while some knew, others couldn’t. In my own healing, my telling of my story, people now understand and many have been helped by my willingness to share my story.
One of the things people ask is if the book The Keystone Kid, or the short movie, The Long Walk is about anger, revenge, hate or what? I challenge, it is about none of those things; it is about the ability to heal through the power of forgiveness. It was through the ability to forgive, that I found healing, strength, and the ability to move on with life, as a new man. That healing for me came later than I would have liked. I am blessed that my story has helped others experience healing earlier than they thought possible.
The short film The Long Walk was made with money from the inheritance from my mother’s death. She was one of my abusers, thus putting me in the unique position of being a male who was abused by various individuals, including their mother. That reality hasn’t been easy, but I have to say, prior to my mother’s death, I learned to forgive, told her that, and was blessed to know of her own faith decision prior to her death and heard her tell me she was sorry and that she loved me. At that point I was able to tell her that I loved her for the first time in over 30 years. It was late in life, but my willingness to forgive and love enabled me to do that. I learned a lot about my mother, including her own issues and abuse. There are stories involved with many that make it harder to judge others.
The Long Walk short film was accepted as a project for Amazon’s Kickstarter. They accept less than ½ of requests and while we had completed the principal shooting, the Kickstarter project is allowing us to finish up the professional make up of the product which will have ample special features, enter the film into film festivals, and start the funding towards the feature film. There are 5 days left in the project and we hope that over this last weekend to bring about awareness to the project and to the issue surrounding abuse. I want people to know, there is hope and healing, I know, I have experienced it. It started with forgiveness, something that wasn’t easy, but required. That doesn’t mean I have forgotten the pain or at times don’t still experience the pain, but the scars are a reminder of the healing and the person I once was. I am a new creature thanks to the power of God and I have found, it is possible to love even those who would do us harm. That isn’t by our power that we are able to do that, it is only from the power of God. He is still changing lives, he is still providing healing, I am grateful!
To find out more about the Long Walk and the Kickstarter Project click here.
To find out more about the book, The Keystone Kid which The Long Walk is based on, click here.
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Kickstarter Project and Trailer To The Long Walk
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