Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.
Despite the encouragement and offers of help from others, there is something related to my recovery I am sure of. I will have consequences regarding the abuse in my life for the rest of my life. There are times I discover something new, a new pain, memory, or a weakness in my life. Writing about those things, responding and attempting to change those things has been positive for me, I am sure it will be for others.
Another thing I am confident of is that while I make improvements, there are certainly going to be relapses of emotions, feelings and even actions on my part. The old saying two steps forward one step back seems to be the norm for me at times. While there is and has been progress, it isn’t always fast moving progress, nor is it always lasting, but it is progress.
Father, help me be the person you want me to be, help me where I am weak, and where I need to take a breath and relax. Help me not get down on myself and allow me to see the areas of improvement in my life. I ask that you help others in this area of their lives as well.
Remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else, I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place – unless you repent. ~ Revelation 2:5
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