Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.
I chronicle in detail my abuse in the book The Keystone Kid. What many don’t know is that during the final stages of writing that book, (the initial completion I went on and did a rewrite and numerous edits) I was going through some struggles. They involved many accesses including drinking, parties, and even the one thing I didn’t think I would ever do, smoking in access clove cigarettes and cigars. I know those may not be big things for some, but for me, they were out of the norm, if using an old school religious term, you might say, I backslid.
While I valued God and my relationship with him, I was far from the person He had called me to be. Looking back on it, I am 100% certain, without question, that reliving my past and the abuse I had gone through was a huge part of that regression. I needed forgiveness, I needed a hug form a loving savior but I was so caught up in my own misery that I dealt with it in the only way I knew, destructive behavior.
Thankfully, healing came, it came in a realization that others cared for me, a grandmother had prayed for me. I am grateful God accepted me back home, I am grateful I didn’t succumb to the lifestyle I was living. As I look back while working through this I realize I am not the only one who resorts to this behavior. I didn’t stay there, things worked out, I just needed to grasp the things God had for me from the beginning.
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. ~ Galatians 5:1
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