Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.I chronicle in detail my abuse in the book The Keystone Kid. What many don’t know is that during the final stages of writing that book, (the initial completion I went on and did a rewrite and numerous edits) I was going through some struggles. They involved many accesses including drinking, parties, and even the one thing I didn’t think I would ever do, smoking in access clove cigarettes and cigars. I know those may not be big things for some, but for me, they were out of the norm, if using an old school religious term, you might say, I backslid.
While I valued God and my relationship with him, I was far from the person He had called me to be. Looking back on it, I am 100% certain, without question, that reliving my past and the abuse I had gone through was a huge part of that regression. I needed forgiveness, I needed a hug form a loving savior but I was so caught up in my own misery that I dealt with it in the only way I knew, destructive behavior.
Thankfully, healing came, it came in a realization that others cared for me, a grandmother had prayed for me. I am grateful God accepted me back home, I am grateful I didn’t succumb to the lifestyle I was living. As I look back while working through this I realize I am not the only one who resorts to this behavior. I didn’t stay there, things worked out, I just needed to grasp the things God had for me from the beginning.
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. ~ Galatians 5:1
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