Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.
Over the time it took me in my journaling experiences to write my own book, The Keystone Kid, years were involved, and many changes and edits took place. One of the reasons was not that the story changed but for 2 reasons, 1) I needed to fix it grammatically, 2) I had to deal with my own issues of where I had been wrong, or done stupid things in my life. You see, it is important that in my own recovery, I had to realize, I was far from perfect, and had committed sin against others. There were things where I was at fault and I needed to address them.
In my book one of the last things I corrected was in the epilogue where I dealt with where I am now and the things I learned through the process. I recognized my own issues. It was difficult. I have this fear that people will think less of me because of the stupid things I did. It hurts when there are those who ignore the pain and suffering. I guess I am saying I know the process hurts, and I wish I could say everything will work out for the best, but the truth is, it doesn’t always do that. The other side though is that from recognizing my own faults and issues, I have moved forward with integrity. I can change the potential for the future. In that regard, it is all worth it.
Father God, thank you for the forgiveness you have provided me where I have done wrong. I know I will likely do so again in the future, and I don’t say that as an excuse but to recognize I need you tomorrow, just as much as I needed you today. I truly do want to be the person you want me to be, even when I need to recognize my own faults. Father, I know I am not perfect, help me to realize that about those around me as well. Help me realize that I also fall short; it is why I need Jesus and your Holy Spirit to guide me each day. Help me be a follower and recognize the areas of my life I need to surrender.
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.
How blessed is the man who fears always,
But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity. ~ Proverbs 28: 13, 14
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