Lessons Learned After 40+ Years of Helping Others

I have been helping others for over 40 years now, hard to believe for some but true. It all started as a child. I had an uncle who lived with my Grandmother and Grandfather.  They were also helping raise me. Aaron was injured while in the Army in Germany.  He was thrown off a train for flirting with a girl, he became blind and obtained a Traumatic Brain Injury. He later developed what I am confident was schizophrenic tendencies. Now I believe my grandmother did too much for Aaron, there were little things I felt he could do for himself and ultimately he did. One can read about some of that in my book The Keystone Kid. Ultimately there were things he learned from me, like how to tell how much money he had, despite being blind, and what the date was. There were things we could do to improve his memory issues. This is where it started for me, as a child with the desire to help others help themselves which has continued until this day.

Over all of those years there were many mistakes I made, I have been far from perfect, some will even say I have become callused and at times, they may even say, I don't care.  Nothing could be further from the truth but until one has had people they are helping die because not everyone listened to the advice you gave or until you have been robbed or had to file a restraining order against someone who has threatened your life, you just may not know. Yet despite the difficulties, the threats on our lives, and having precious family items stolen, we continue. 

There are things to learn about helping others, one thing to take into consideration is are you really helping, or are you helping them stay in their condition. What is easily debatable is not helping anyone except possibly yourself with good feelings of doing good, however, if not doing good, and you are helping someone stay in their situation, not improving their lives, are you really helping? While I am confident that God has called some to the first line of ministry, I have to wonder, where are those ministries that help people get on their feet and stay there? The bible talks about hope, there is the contribution to hopes and dreams, gifts, and talents that is addressed. While there are those that are called to the 1st step of helping, what is being done to help those you are helping get beyond their situation? Believe me, I am aware of the need of these ministries but I have to ask, what is more important to continually give fish, or to teach one to fish?  I am honored to say, I can point to many individuals, likely hundreds who were dependent on the system, the government, the survive by any means necessary crowd. I can also say there are hundreds who now live in their own homes, have jobs, have found careers, and for many others, maybe they didn't get to the place of total independence but they got to the place where they will tell you they are contributing to the lives of others and improving our world. I like to reference the Bible because that is my measuring stick, so here goes, can you point to fruit in your work?  The Bible is clear, you will tell them by their fruit! That said, fruit is a viable item, it comes about through the pruning process of a tree, the upkeep of a tree, the tree is an incredible creation, but fruit just doesn't happen. There is also the curse of the fig tree, anyone remember that story? Might be worth reading in Matthew 21.

Here are a few things I have learned from my mistakes. First the lesson of Josh. Josh was a friend I invested a lot of time with over the course of 3 years. I invited him to come hear me speak once and he did. While there I pointed him out as an example of how to do something in regards to reaching others. While it wasn't intended, I had turned him from an individual to a project where it appeared it was more important to make myself look good than to treat him like a human being. It was a SERIOUS MISTAKE! I really did love him, but I put my desires above his feelings. That incident cost me years of investment as a friend and no matter how much I tried to mend fences with Josh, it still hasn't happened. 

Now I am not saying this to be negative towards any group or person, I am saying it to illustrate a lesson I learned from my mistake. The example of Josh is one of the reasons I seldom take photos of me and the homeless. I don't want them to think I am taking advantage of them. A few years ago I used a photo that I pulled off of Google via searching "public domain homeless" for The Virtual Pew, what ensued was a nightmare.  I used the photo in an article, even though I did that google, it was apparently owned by someone who had not made it public domain. He was taking photos of the homeless and profiting off them, while at the same time not giving the homeless anything for those photos. I ended up having to make a donation to a library, a homeless program, and some other costs involved.

There is that example but also how for years while working in the music business, I seldom if ever took any photos with any of the music stars I worked with and there were many of them. I hardly ever did it because I thought it demeaned my relationship with them. Now, I don't quite feel that way, it possible and appropriate at times to take the photos, but I am careful, seek permission, I try to always ask them I try to make sure it is okay. I won't use any person as a project, I want to make sure they know I am a friend and with past experiences, I have learned that sometimes, even 2 or 3 years isn't enough time to garnish that trust.  

Another lesson I have learned is the Show Me Principal. For those that don't know, Missouri is known as "The Show Me State." Why is this important? I have learned to trust the call from God, to believe in him, and to also be thankful that sometimes he uses people to follow through with the things they have promised. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, we just finished serving a home style Thanksgiving meal with various homeless people, friends, and family. Once again, a local organization who promised us things, at least 3 if not 4 times now, has once again, not followed through on what they promised. After the first let down a couple of years ago I learned, it is important to have a back-up and from here on out that so called ministries and organizations will have to show me and I just won't believe on blind faith that they will follow through with what they have promised. The promise of something is a heck of a lot different than delivering that something. I follow a faith practice where our yes is to be yes, and our no is supposed to be no. I firmly believe that broken promises aren't to me, they are to those being ministered to. I have learned not to believe those who don't keep their promises, I don't count on them. It burdens me to see other individuals, other ministries get sucked into their lies and or self promotion desires of giving to these groups, why? Simple see the Josh above, where we make people projects instead of seeing them real people is dangerous. It also discredits the value system that Jesus of Nazareth would have us follow, to keep our word, to be people of truth, beyond that, it takes away needed resources from ministries that really care.

The next thing I will conclude with. While there is more I will say, this is what I call The Andre Crouch principle where; "Jesus is the answer for the world today, above him there's no other, for Jesus is the way." Now this will offend some but it is what I believe. I believe the Bible means exactly what it says when it says the following, "What does it profit anyone to gain the whole world and lose their soul?" "There is no other name under Heaven where anyone can be saved (not just a spiritual salvation) other than the name of Jesus." It can be summated in many places through the Bible.

A huge critical part of sharing that belief is in the installation and importance of hope that we are commanded to practice including these verses:

Romans 5:2-5 ~ 2 Christ has also introduced us to God’s undeserved kindness on which we take our stand. So we are happy, as we look forward to sharing in the glory of God. 3 But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. 4 And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope 5 that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.

1 Corinthians 15:19 If our hope in Christ is good only for this life, we are worse off than anyone else.

Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

There are also quotes that help illustrate some of the lessons I have learned on hope:

“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair...” ― Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Fall of Atlantis

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.” ― J.D. Stroube, Caged by Damnation

Here is a concern I have, it is as if many of those in ministry don't see the potential in the people they are helping in the same way God does. We think it is okay to help keep them in their poverty, whether spiritual or literal, to do little or nothing to help them beyond their situation. The work of the Gospel is hard, we like to make it easy, yet, Jesus tells us to take up our cross daily, when he knew very well what the cross implied. There is old adage, God doesn't make junk. This doesn't imply that wealth is a measure of success, but neither does it allow for the dismissal of ones dreams, not matter how good, or how bad their situation. We should be about helping people, helping them stay in their problem is not helping them. I have seen so much effort to keep people where they are at, while giving every excuse why they are not helping them get back on their feet and accomplish their dreams. While there are those called to serve people where they are at, whether they be homeless, employed, or whatever. I believe any ministry should be at least working with others who are helping people obtain their dreams, helping them rediscover a sustainable life as much as possible, moving towards independence. The Bible is clear on this expectation.  

There is another question we have to ask, is the ministry work we do for ourselves or for those we are called to serve? If for ourselves it is easy to not do more, it is easy to allow those we are trying to help stay in their situation. I have said for years; if donating food to a food drive, don't donate things you won't eat, if you don't eat out of dented cans, don't give dented cans. On the flip side, when we help others, if we aren't willing to live in their situation, don't do things that help them stay in their situation. I was homeless for almost 2 1/2 years, living and staying wherever I could find, including a YMCA transient center and I'll be honest, I didn't like it! I like my situation far better now than then. Why would I help someone stay in a situation I didn't like? There is an old saying, we need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before we can understand them.

I recently wrote about the starfish parable where you take a starfish, throw it back in the ocean and while the beach is cluttered with tons of starfish, someone questions what you are doing and saying it doesn't make a difference, you throw a starfish back and say, it makes a difference for that one. Here is my concern, are we doing ministry where we throw the starfish back and it never makes it to the ocean? If so, then we are doing more harm than good because of the damage of the impact to the starfish and the potential to offer false hope as opposed to real hope. Think about it.

Now some may think this is only an effort to raise awareness or money for what we do through The Virtual Pew and Mosaic, let me make clear, NOPE! NOT! If someone supports our work, fine, it's GOOD, we will accept it, but my hope and my prayer is that people will contemplate this not for the purpose of giving money but instead for the way WE do ministry, now that would be, GREAT! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyITjtiUUc

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry.  Believe me there is much more going on than most realize.  I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work.  Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.



Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid 

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Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information
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1249 N. St. Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214


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The Christmas Jerk!

 It was a cold morning in Wichita Kansas, but that was typical for Friday November 29th.  The stores were jam packed with shoppers taking advantage of  the Black Friday Sales, the sporting goods stores were no exception. Charley wasn't in the best of moods, this was something his wife used to do, he didn't like crowds, didn't like having to stand in lines and as of late, didn't care much for holidays either. He wasn't unusual in those regards because the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving were hard on a lot of families. It was a season of depression for some and the lack of patience had come about and learned in a fast food society where most everyone was used to getting what they wanted when they wanted.

While the lines and crowds at Parsons Sporting Goods were not nearly as bad as the big box stores like Wal-Mart or Best Buy is was still substantially worse than any other time of the year. Lines were at least 5 customers deep on each of the stores 6 registers and although the store had brought in extra help for the holidays there were short tempers from some customers not getting the help finding things when they needed. Most of the customer service reps were at the end of the line on their nerves from trying to be patient with the customers. After looking through the store longer than he expected for a specific soccer related item Charley finally decided to hunt down a salesperson on the floor.

While the section for soccer wasn't the largest display in the store, it was still busy as soccer was a popular sport in Wichita.  Charlie, in his early sixties, was a little older than most in that department but he was persistent, coming off at times as a jerk. By the time he finally got a clerks attention, one who had been talking to another customer, he didn't come of as just a jerk, he was brash and direct. "Excuse me Miss, I've been in this store for 45 minutes now when can I get some help?"   

Sandra was a young woman who had been raised in a close nit family, she had learned manners but wasn't quite so used to such a direct approach from a customer, especially when she was helping another customer, a young mother looking for some Christmas deals.  "Excuse me sir, I am just about through, if you can wait another couple of minutes I'll be glad to help you." Sandra was shocked at Charlie's response yet kind in her tone.

"I've been waiting for 45 damned minutes lady, how much more to I have to wait."

"I'm sorry sir that you've waited that long I'll be right with you as soon as I am done with this customer,"

Charlie's response was short and to the point, "Dammit!"

Sandra was as she said, helping Charlie within a few moments after helping the young mother. "I'm sorry for your wait sir, but how can I help you?" Sandra for her young 21 years was as polite as anyone could be.

"Well I'm glad someone is sorry, I have things to do."

"Like I said sir, I am sorry but how can I help you?"

"I am looking for anything from the old Wichita Wings, what do you have!" It wasn't as if Charlie
was asking, he was telling Sandra to show him some products, even though the Wings had not been in Wichita since folding in 1992, it was as if Charlie expected to find something from the old franchise.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have any thing from the old Wings." Sandra responded with kindness. "I don't even think we have anything from the refurbished Wings that was in town the last 2 years before going under."

"Shit!" Charlie responded, "that team left a lifetime mark on this city, what is the hell is it with not providing or having a part of history available!"

"I'm sorry sir, we just don't carry anything like that."

Charlie was starting to turn red from anger now, the pitch of his voice was changing, he was tired of waiting, tired of the crowds, tired of not getting the help he wanted, tired of everything, while gritting his teeth, he stated, "Can you get me your manager please?"

"I can get him sir, but it could take a little while, he is really busy right now with keeping the stock room going with bringing out the needed stock."

"That's what I would expect, a day you should have known that you needed to stay on top of things but instead taking advantage of customers and making sure that all your sales take place. It's all about making a dollar." What Sandra didn't know was Charlie had already been to three sporting goods stores on this crazy hectic morning.  Parsons Sporting Goods was the last hope. 

"I'll be glad to the stock room sir and ask our manager for you, but I can't guarantee anything as to having what you want." Sandra was still a professional, still trying to provide good service. Of course from the exchange up to this point she expected to have her head bitten off, she wasn't far off in her expectation.

"Fine, go check with your damn manager, I've waited this long, if you going speeds up the process I might get home in time for church on Sunday!"

Sandra still polite responded, "Yes sir, I'll be as quick as possible." Ignoring a couple of other customers, she left immediately for the stock room.  It wasn't long before she returned to find Charlie still standing there, his arms crossed and he was staring off  into space with an obvious lack of patience.

"Sir, I spoke to our manager and he stated that we haven't carried any Wings stock for some time but he had a suggestion if you are willing to entertain it."

Charlie still miffed, but somewhat responsive, responded in a blunt way, "Okay what is it, what can you do, what's your suggestion."

"Well sir," Sandra still trying to be polite and calm, stated, "Well sir our manager suggested that while we haven't had any Wings items for some time, we have a new team in town, The B-52's, they have pretty much the same color scheme and we have a pretty good selection of their merchandise. They are a professional team and our manager also suggested a friend of his who has a lot of old Wings merchandise that may be able to help you out, but you will have to call him, but my manager did give me his phone number and contact information."

What happened next surprised Sandra, she didn't know what to think but Charlie was tearing up.  "If you could show me the items please from the new team and get me the name of the person who may have some old Wings merchandise I would appreciate it."

Sandra, still staying professional and calm, "let me walk you over and show you some of the merchandise, and here is the contact information of my managers friend who has the old Wings merchandise."

Charlie looked down at her hand as she handed him the information, he wasn't tearing up now, he was starting to cry, his eyes were red and he kept taking his gloved hand trying to dab the tears as they started to freely fell. "Thank you miss, you have no idea what this is going to mean to me."

Sandra, confused and touched, stated, "Sir that is no problem." Showing a real measure of concern she asked as well, "Are you okay, is there anything I can do?"

"No young lady, you have done quite enough, you don't understand likely and I know I have been an ass. You see my wife and I were huge supporters for the Wings back in the day.  My wife and son were killed in a car accident last year during the Holidays. All I have left is my grandson. Alex will be 10 in January. It was my son's 10th birthday when I purchased him a Wings soccer ball and took him to see his first pro soccer game at the Kansas Coliseum. We saw the Wings play the St. Louis Steamers. It was a heck of a game and my son became a fan for life. I miss him and my wife so much and wanted so much to give my grandson something for Christmas that would help with the loss of his father and grandmother."

Sandra was starting to tear up now, "Sir, I am so sorry, I would have never known, I am so sorry."

"Oh there is nothing to be sorry about young lady, you have gone out of your way, been kind and I so much appreciate it. I think it may be time to move on and I don't think the specific Wings material is necessary for my grandson, the B-52's will be enough to rekindle the spirit, that is what is important, not so much the team. It is the sharing of time together, the love, the memories. I think the B-52's is enough for my grandson, I may even have to take him to a game, but I appreciate the information about the managers friend, it will bring back memories for me while I start new ones with my Grandson, I think his dad and grandma would understand and like that."

"Sure no problem sir, I can do that, let's go look at some of that B-52's merchandise now."

Sandra learned something that day, she realized it as she saw a different man walk out of the store than she had encountered some 30 minutes earlier. She learned it wasn't so much about customer service, she had already been practicing those things, but she learned to always be nice to the customer, one never knew what they were feeling or had experienced. She knew at that moment, there were sometimes good reasons for people to have difficulty during the holidays, it was also a time of year that a lot of people went through extreme and clinical depression. Sandra realized the people mattered, she realized she could do her part by being a  more understanding person. It was after all the time of year that celebrated the birth of the one called The Prince of Peace, it was a time where people came together to give thanks for the blessings in their lives. With so many hurting people, Sandra decided, she would smile more and in her own way, by helping others, experience a different concept of the holidays she hadn't thought of before, loving others unconditionally in the same way God had loved her and others on this planet; unconditionally.

Mark 12:28-34 - 28 One of the teachers of the Law of Moses came up while Jesus and the Sadducees
were arguing. When he heard Jesus give a good answer, he asked him, “What is the most important commandment?”

29 Jesus answered, “The most important one says: ‘People of Israel, you have only one Lord and God. 30 You must love him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.’ 31 The second most important commandment says: ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ No other commandment is more important than these.”

32 The man replied, “Teacher, you are certainly right to say there is only one God. 33 It is also true that we must love God with all our heart, mind, and strength, and that we must love others as much as we love ourselves. These commandments are more important than all the sacrifices and offerings that we could possibly make.”

34 When Jesus saw that the man had given a sensible answer, he told him, “You are not far from God’s kingdom.” After this, no one dared ask Jesus any more questions.

The following video is also based on a real event that happened in Newton Kansas, just to the north of Wichita.  The themes are the same, think about it, to see the video just click on it, if the video doesn't appear, then click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fKI50MhzVM

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by

the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to

give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on

the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita

which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount

you can contribute to help with this ministry. 

Believe me there is much more going on than most realize.  I will also provide information to verify the

ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work.  Thanks and feel free to share any material

from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to

the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click to subscribe to my blog

There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the

archives. You can also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone

Kid at mike@furches.orgYou

can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.

Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs

or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and

by all means, spread the word.Here

is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis

Wichita Kansas, 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual

Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Celebrating A Great Teacher & Incredible Wife

I married my wife, Mary Jane Erwin Furches on November 20, 1979. It would have been her mother and father’s 50^th wedding anniversary. The initial plan was to have a joint service, our marriage and their 50^th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, her mother died the summer prior to the time we had planned to get married. We faced other challenges though, mainly some of our families disapproval. They disapproved because my wife was older than me. That has been a challenge off and on during our years of marriage but I didn’t expect it to be the brunt of a joke that should have honored her 39 years of teaching as she is set to retire this Thursday from Derby Middle School, but it was and while some will think there is some aspect of an overreaction from me, I will state that after 39 years of working with troubled youth in inner city neighborhoods and schools and teaching special education during most of that time, out of a love to educate and better the life of children, that should have been the focus and the reason for celebration before the Derby School Board and 12 others from the State of Kansas largest school system who were also retiring and their families recognition dinner on 5/20/12. Simply put, my wife deserved more than she got without having to be embarrassed before this group of people. Sure it may have been intended as a harmless comment, I am sure it was, but even as we left the parking lot another retiree made comment to us of her being a “cradle robber.” Again, while I don’t think that she or the person during the presentation meant harm from their comments, they were still embarrassing and somewhat stung.

I never liked the term “cradle robber!” I never liked it for a lot of reasons, one because it implies I had nothing to do with our relationship. Despite several close friends and doctors telling us we were making a good decision because of the expectant life span of men and women, (we would normally be expected to die around the same time) we made the decision to marry for one reason and really one reason only, we loved each other. While we are polar opposites in many regards, those who have known us over the years have mentioned about how good of a couple we are.  We have been together some 35 years now, (we started dating 2 years prior to our marriage going on 34 years now) had our first child, our daughter Marathana, 2 years after we married, and while our marriage hasn’t been perfect, it has been worth fighting for and is now stronger than ever. We love each other and anyone who knows me, knows that if anything, especially if reading our story in my book The Keystone Kid, they know I fought for her prior to our marriage and if anything, due to my own circumstances while growing up, was older than my years in the area of maturity.  I’ll be honest, I take some joy in that many who said it wouldn’t last, can’t help but have to wonder now, why it has lasted so long, it is simple, a powerful 4-letter word called L-O-V-E!

As of late the concept of older women marrying younger men is not so much of a thing. We live in an age where I like the terminology better; we live in the age, if you will, of the Cougar. I like that concept better for various reasons, there has been much written on it and while not perfect, the term is certainly better than “cradle robber.” I look at it like this, Mary Jane was hot prior to us getting married and as far as I am concerned, she has maintained her age great and for me, is still hot. We have put on some weight, age and wrinkles over the years but I still get turned on when we hold hands and caress each other’s hands at the movies, other places. I still open the door for her, take her on dates, we still enjoy our lives together and at the rate of freaking our kids out; we still enjoy the most intimate of moments together. It’s simple, we still love each other. 

My wife is a remarkable woman. I don’t want to offend anyone, but for me or anyone else, a person living out her faith. When we met, even today, she lives out her faith more than any human being I have ever come into contact with. She loves God passionately and when I read the Scripture about being a loving wife I could never point to a better example than she. While we are far from perfect it is ridiculous, (in a good way,) how Mary Jane has lived out her faith and I really do know that I am the one who has come out the better due to our friendship and marriage.

Mary Jane has sacrificially supported our ministry over the years.  I know without a doubt, there is no way the ministry I have been involved in could have taken place without her support; from moving time and time again, (over 39 years of teaching she has taught in approximately 10 schools) to at times, being the primary bread winner of the family. She left her family which she deeply loved so I would go back to school to finish my degree, she has done so much, even selling her prized 72 Nova Super Sport so we could have the funds to move back to Kansas. I could go on and on with things some would consider small sacrifices but I know, deep down, were tremendous sacrifices. Why? Because she is in the ministry of doing what God has called us to do together. 

Mary Jane will continue in ministry, living in our Community House as a House Mother but also starting up her PartyLite business again and booking me to speak around the country while she also performs musically. This will all be secondary to spending time with our grandchildren and children in the twilight of our years. She has earned that right.

I guess I could go on, but will leave it at that other than to say, that on Sunday June 2 from 2 PM – 4 PM we are going to be hosting a celebration of her years of service and the next step in her journey of life and ministry at our house, 1249 N. St. Francis Street Wichita KS, 67214.  We will provide snacks and I am begging and pleading, that those who can attend to honor Mary Jane’s contribution to ministry and teaching for the last 39 years, teaching children and showing them the love of God while at the same time, bettering their lives. I am asking that people share this with others, time is short, get the word out.  Let people from all of the schools she has taught over the years know about it, friends, family, people who have supported The Virtual Pew, the ministries like Mosaic we have been a part of, the Fountain House Clubhouse world and more where she also had a tremendous role in my work there.  Then there are those at various churches, Ninth Street Baptist Church in Erwin Tennessee, Calvary Chapel in Hendersonville North Carolina, United at the Cross in Wichita Kansas, Good News Christian Fellowship, (Formerly Hillsboro Mennonite Brethren Church,) in Marion Kansas, Discovery One Fellowship, (Formerly Westport Mennonite Brethren Church in Tulsa Oklahoma and more.  If you can’t attend, please consider dropping her a note at my email address which I can print out for her at mikefurches@yahoo.com or mike@furches.org . If you can attend the reception it would be so appreciated. I would like the focus to be on her though, let it be from if at all possible, the students who have known her, her fellow teachers, her fellow administrators’ family, friends and so forth. Why am I doing this? Because after 39 years of contribution to teaching and touching so many, I believe she deserves it. Her contribution and sacrifice to the children in Kansas, Tennessee, South Carolina and Oklahoma has been remarkable. Many have gone on to live productive lives. She kept every Christmas ornament she ever got from any of her students and they still, to this day, decorate our tree because she values the fact that she had a positive impact as a teacher on the life of a young person. I think the same could be said of all good teachers, I just know personally, I have seen few, if any, better and more loving than Mary Jane. 

Again the address of the event is 1249 North St. Francis, Wichita KS 67214 and you can email her your thoughts and congratulatory comments regarding her teaching and ministry experience to me at mikefurches@yahoo.com or mike@furches.org

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

To see a video of Mary Jane singing click on the following video, if the video doesn't appear click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DE4HpGV-_U

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis Street

Wichita, KS 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Have We Experienced The Family of God?

As I get older and my health isn't what it used to be, (although I haven’t given up hope and still work on it) I have come to realize, we all have 2 families. If we are lucky one is good, if we are blessed both the spiritual and natural family are good.

The first family that comes to mind is our natural family, mother, father, brothers, sisters, etc…  Most of you know my family history, or likely do so from my book The Keystone Kid and/or other writings. While I had some difficult times in my life, I have come to appreciate more and more my blood family. I love my sisters my half sister Teresa whom I have spent little time with and my full-blooded sister, Andrea (Sissy) whom I grew up with. Growing up in the same household Sis and I experienced many of the same things. I admire her for her courage and sticktoitnuss, God used her in a mighty way to bring me into His family. I love my sister and wish we lived closer. There are others in my family I miss. While I am having some health issues as I write this, I spoke with my Uncle Larry last night. He was checking up on me and asked how I am doing, I responded, “as well as can be expected, but I am keeping my spirits up trying to find ways to make people laugh and enjoy life, I am after all a Furches.”  I was moved by his concern, because, he is family. I could write a great deal about how much I love my family, whether they realize it or not. I am healing and the more God provides healing, the more I am learning to love.

There is another kind of family, one where Jesus brings people together. The Bible speaks often and eloquently about the Family of God, brothers, sisters, babes, and so forth. We see an emphasis on the community of believers, from the Lord’s Prayer, where Jesus instructs us to say, OUR Father, deliver US, give US OUR, and so forth. Then there is a passage some find troubling, Matthew 12: 46-50:

(46)  While Jesus was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and brothers came and stood outside because they wanted to talk with him. (47) Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside and want to talk with you.”

(48) Jesus answered, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” (49) Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “These are my mother and my brothers! (50) Anyone who obeys my Father in heaven is my brother or sister or mother.”

While the above passage can be troubling, I don’t think Jesus is saying forget about, ignore, or having nothing to do with your blood family, he is saying your family is more than your blood relatives, it includes all of those who are a part of the Kingdom of God who have surrendered to His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Unfortunately in today’s world we live in a place that focuses on individualism.  Don’t take me wrong, to discover ones gifts, talents, to love one’s self, etc…, is important, but one of the ways we discover self is by loving others, to be a part of the group or community. We are to share in life, care for each other, see to it that no one has a need. We are to be there and love each other. Unfortunately, this concept has been lost, many of us don’t even know our next door neighbors, those we call brother and sister. If we don’t know each other, how can we be a family?

I have learned the importance of my spiritual brothers and sisters. Much of that comes from living away from my blood family for most of my life. I hate it but it is a part of the call of ministry. I go where God leads, not where I want. I have been blessed to have many brothers and sisters. While I enjoy keeping up with many of them via social media and meeting new ones, nothing replaces the hands on experience, a hug, a holy kiss, a love that family understands, a communion where we commune in life, not just a ceremony of breaking bread and drinking wine.

God has compelled me see to it that the ministry I am involved in experiences what the Greek calls, Koinonia, or Family and Community, where all things are shared.  I believe it is what God would have for his people. While there are times to be alone, there are also times to share in life, even to help each other out through our problems. Many make the excuse to not share in life with a body of believers, for years I was in that boat but the more I study scripture, the more I realize how unbiblical that belief is. I joy because I share in life; I have blood family I love and others via spiritual family via faith in Jesus Christ. 

Lastly, I have a son I deeply love. Nathan is adopted and I love him just as I love my daughter by birth. I have learned of the ability to love and the value of coming into a family via adoption, that is what the Kingdom of God is, people who have been adopted into the Family of God. I would challenge, enjoy this family to the fullest, if in a good church, experience community in shared life, stay for the pot-lucks, and develop relationships where you want to be with that family. When you aren't and you find yourself missing those special moments, maybe, just maybe, God wants more, and that more is community.

To see the video below, just click on it, if for some reason it doesn't work, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcW6tMPgmxI 

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis Street

Wichita, KS 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed