Not So Happy Holidays

 

Yesterdays Thanksgiving Day for my family was a first, the first time we faced Thanksgiving without my wife Mary Jane also a mother and grandmother. While our family is small, only 2 children and 2 grandchildren, the day was tough. It is a journey we will all face someday minus the tragedy of loosing our own lives and being the first to go.

Mary Jane Erwin Furches was a loving wife and mother. Many know our journey though the journaling I did on Facebook and the public way we lived our lives. We lived it publicly for most of our lives, not to impress but to hopefully inspire. In that capacity, few inspired as much, in their own silent way as did Mary Jane. She was literally the glue that held our family together. She was the epitome of how to love.

Scrolling through FaceBook this morning, I realized there are many families that know what I'm talking about. While the holidays for many are a time of joy and memories, it is also a time of reflection and sadness for those who are no longer around. In these moments many of us have come to realize, Thanksgiving is about more than a big meal and Christmas is about much more than presents under the tree. We understand that with loss, memories play much more of a role in our joy and happiness than the things, be they food or gifts ever were.

This holiday season, I'll be honest, I don't want to decorate the house and you have to know how much our family celebrated the holidays, but I think I have to try and muster the strength to do it. I haven't even taken down the Christmas tree from last year because Mary Jane put a few decorations on the tree and she loved Christmas so much that I just can't bring myself to do it. Not just for me, but for many, the holidays, especially those first ones without a loved one are a struggle.

Next up is Christmas and while Mary Jane went to dance with Jesus on December 22, we had a Christmas celebration with her the day she died. She saw the grandkids open some presents, told them Merry Christmas and that she loved them a few hours before dying. She saw her children before laying down, falling asleep with me next to her and going to be with Jesus. In many ways this December 22 and ultimately Christmas will be the first without her. I already find myself shedding tears thinking about that and I know there are many others who can relate.

I have heard these stories for most of my life, you know, how the holidays are tough, but this is the first time experiencing it this close to home. For those blessed to have all of your family, enjoy, celebrate and cherish the time together. For the others, like us, on your first time, hang in there, let's be there for each other. I made a few phone calls yesterday, will make more today, but let's let each other know we are still loved by our friends and family that remain. For those who have been through the process for many years, I will say I cherish your wisdom and advice on how to endure because God knows, it sure is hard.

To each of you, blessings and the Happiest of  Holidays possible.    

 

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