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Do you remember the old television show, He-Haw? It had Roy Clark, Buck Owens and a number of other country stars. There are a lot of long stories I can tell about my association with that show, but I’ll leave those for another time. One of the funny things I loved on that particular show was the tribute song recognizing a small community, and what I came to know of as the hard luck or fart song. You have maybe heard it or are familiar with it, it had a line that went like this, “If it weren’t for hard luck I’d have no luck at all, gloom despair, and agony on me.”
One might call that the Job song, named after the character Job in the Bible who lost everything, as a form of temptation from the Devil in trying to get him to deny God. With a lot of things that has gone on in our lives over the years, my wife and I are beginning to wonder if we aren’t in many ways like Job.
Here are the hard core facts. My wife comes from a family of 5 siblings, while I come from a family of only 2 which is kind of deceiving because my grandparents did what raising there was in my family, and there were 9 in that family, 11 counting my sister and I. Now among all of those children, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews and others, to our knowledge, my wife and I are the only couple where both the husband and wife have a college degree, even our daughter is working on her masters, and have both had “professional” careers. My wife as a teacher now for around 30 years, and me prior to what I am doing now, as a Mental Health Executive. I have to tell you, a teacher, at least not in our experience, really makes that much money. There was a time that I was making pretty good money with a pretty good career. Our daughter, who is now married, and lives outside of the home is making more money with her and her husbands’ income than her mother and I ever have, with the possible exception of a few years. Yet, since we decided to get back into ministry, if looking at finance and that type of thing, things have gone way down hill. Of course that is if you look at those things and those things only. Otherwise, despite having college degrees, my wife and I make less money than any of our families.
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In 2001 I had enough money and investments to volunteer at a church after I left my job for a faith restriction that in my opinion was illegally and inappropriately placed on me by my former employer. I have never been one to actively try to convert people. I believe in building relationships, and if someone asks, fine. If not in a church setting I have issues for me to do this, note I said for me, not others. I had money put back to live on, then September 11, 2001 hit. That should be a date most of us remember. I will never forget, I was on a phone interview regarding unemployment, (I was trying to let the company I worked for and resigned from know they couldn’t tell people what to do with their faith on their own time,) when the tragic events of 9/11 hit. I didn’t know the impact of the day until some weeks later when my financial reserves went from being enough to live on for about a year and a half to being enough to live on for about 6 months.
I was volunteering at a church, a church where the pastor wanted to eventually bring me on full-time as an evangelism and outreach pastor, some things ended up happening where that pastor ended up leaving and taking another pastor job in another state. My hopes for the future, just vanished when this happened.
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Along the way, we had 2 different sets of “Christian” renters in our house in Oklahoma, one doing about $3000 worth of damage to the house, and owing us 3 months of rent. We tried to recoup some of these costs, in various ways before taking legal action. After taking action we had some within the church that were critical of us taking these actions. Some from a church where I made $15,000 a year, and no reimbursement, and lived in a parsonage where our utility bills were on average $400 a month. I am not complaining, just stating facts and illustrating of how tough it was. We had even donated thousands of dollars worth of items, whether food or mileage forms because I knew the church couldn’t afford it. I struggled long and hard with it, but went through various things to try and do what we felt was Biblical. Needless to say, we never recouped our losses.
Then another Christian decided to skip out owing us 2 ½ months rent. Why? So they could go on a mission’s trip. In all, we were out $5,000 in damages to the house, plus 5 ½ months rent for a total of another $5,000. Simply put; we couldn’t afford to catch up the mortgage, and as a result, even though we finally had good renters, that house sold short for $30,000 less than we had invested in it last Friday. The response of the Christians in the house when they knew this was going to happen? “That’s not our problem!” Even though they had caused the problem, this was the attitude we experienced, once again, from Christians.
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Eventually we had to move from the parsonage after the church closed, no big deal, things were going well, when I started experiencing a level of pain I couldn’t take any more. As a result, emergency surgery had to be done, the week the move was supposed to take place. Bottom line, I couldn’t help, but we had to move, after all we had received a one week notice that the property was being auctioned. It would have been nice to have had more of a notice, but looking back I don’t know why it shouldn’t have been expected.
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In the year we have been in Derby, many know of the mistake our son made at the Garden City Wrestling tournament, of course blown way out of proportion, and being called out on public internet message boards, where many exaggerations and lies stated. You may also know of the struggle we went through where he was given a gift in my presence when it was later discovered, unknown to me and my son that the gift was stolen. Nate went to return it after he found out, but it was too late. Long story made short, another event happened, and we begin to see some serious issues where we needed to get medical help. That has been better, but I will tell you, as a dad, it sucks to see someone make an example of your son for something he didn’t do. I know this as I was present when the said actions took place. To say the least, the struggle of this, and the medical issues was something which we didn’t know if we could bare. Our son eventually had to have surgery due to a part of the pressure he was feeling from the psychological perspective, which was enhanced by the teasing and peer pressure at school that involved racial slanders, and sexual comments. Believe me, you want to know the damage teasing can do, ask me, we almost lost our son.
Things didn’t end there, financially it has remained tough, God provides, but I know we have taken a vow of poverty, (unknowingly) when we decided to enter ministry. We don’t have much, don’t get to eat out much, don’t get to go to movies much, but as long as we have beans and rice, we will eat. I am staying busy as usual, as you can tell from each of these crazy things I write, but I also see more ministry than ever, from all walks of life, in the lives of real, breathing people.
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I’ll be honest, with a week faith; I can understand why people blame God. I want to be clear though, I don’t, my wife doesn’t nor does my family blame God for the inappropriate actions of Christians. Truth is I know everyone makes mistakes, it is when the mistakes carry on to the point that peoples lives are affected, and some who say they are Christians, who are commanded to love, choose to ignore. That is exactly how we feel, those we have made the efforts to see, visit, and solicit appropriate action from, has chosen to ignore as opposed to love.
On the above point, what is my responsibility? I think it is really quite simple; I am to love my Lord and my God with all of my mind, heart, strength, and soul, and love my neighbor (fellow human being) as myself. Truth is I don’t blame God; I blame an enemy who seeks to tear down and destroy.
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To those who struggle today, I really do sit here with a smile, and a love for God I can’t explain, despite all of the crap that has happened, and continues to happen in my life, and the life of my family, when we have done no wrong. Believe me; I have only shared a small portion of it. I don’t need the Job haters placing the blame on us, we know the story, and we know where you fit in. We continue to praise God, live for him, and serve him by loving and serving others. My challenge is to learn from that, learn from Job, learn that God is good, not based on what has happened to us, but based on who he is. I have said for years, Christ is our example, guess what? He still is.
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