A number of years ago I did an article that garnished a lot of national attention called, "Am I Going To Hell Because I love Rob Zombie and Sky Lopez?" Rob Zombie is a popular rock artist and movie maker and at the time Sky Lopez was a porn star who had reportedly just become a Christian. From that article came another article of interviews with the two, one of those, Rob Zombie actually contacted me after hearing about the initial article. But something else happened after that article that I have not written about since, and again, we're talking quite a few years ago.
Right after the publication of that initial article and those interviews I came into contact with and developed a online relationship that had a number of conversations, privately, online, and via on occasion via phone with the creator of Pink Cross Foundation, a ministry Shelley Lubben where she stated she assisted women coming out of the pornography industry. Shelley herself was a former porn star who had reportedly become a Christian. She would share her testimony across the country at conferences, radio and television programs and many times on nationally viewed programs.
For whatever reason Shelley seemed to take interest in the compassion I had shown for Sky Lopez. I was impressed that she saw enough value in the ministry work I was doing to throw some support and advice my way. It wasn't that I was doing any work specifically in ministry to porn stars. I just thought it was important that as a Christian I exemplified and showed the importance of loving people no matter where they had come from and what life they had, or lived. I was reminded of the Bible passage, Romans 5:8: but God showed how much He loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful.
I still hold to those values, to the concept that we are to love unconditionally, whosoever. It is a concept that unfortunately many Christians don't seem to live by or follow. Sure, often times lip service is given but actually following through seems to fall short. Even worse at times is the judgment and assumptions others make towards those that try to live by this standard. I will guarantee you for example, there is judgment already being made by some about me and this article because I am talking about former porn stars, forget the jest of what the article is really all about.
I kept in contact with Shelley for a number of years, there was a time I was communicating with one of the porn stars who had made a decision to follow Christ that Shelley was aware of. I told the lady that she needed to make sure to as much as possible stay away from issues related to her former life and to as much as possible to focus mainly on Jesus. Shelley felt the need to rebuke me, telling me I shouldn't be telling people to stay away from their former acquaintances and associates in the porn industry because they needed those contacts and could be used or helped. It was all kind of cryptic to be honest about it and I didn't know what to think about it. I felt she was wrong and while it wasn't a personal thing it was something that caused me to wonder about the advice she was giving and ultimately, yes, doing in her "ministry."
Later on Shelley started going through a number of issues that she was vocal about. There was relationship needs as well as financial needs. On a couple of occasions I donated to some of the financial needs she had expressed. I continued to follow her and had an occasional conversation, but, I was starting to have some concerns.
It was a number of years ago now that I begin to see individuals becoming more critical of Shelley and talking about how her ministry was fake and that she had exaggerated her story over the years as well as what she had done in the industry. There was no doubt she had been involved in porn but the extent of her involvement to obtain "star" status was debatable. The other point of concern was that she had raised money on occasion to assist certain people in the industry, yet they never received the finances. Much of this can still be seen online but there was more. She was having relationship issues with numerous people, a nasty divorce and more was going on.
Now don't get me wrong, Christians are not immune to difficulties, divorce and hard times. They should however be seeking a deeper relationship with Jesus through those difficulties. Truth is, after a period of time and questions, we will never know what was really going on with Shelley because she, after becoming destitute died from a drug overdose in a trailer park she lived in in California on February 9, 2019.
I've struggled over the last 2 years as I continued to find more information and wondered, what could I have done? What could any of us have done? What were the mitigating factors in her decisions? What was real about Shelley? I could keep on asking questions and a large number of them could be about me as much as they are about Shelley.
In life we don't have all of the answers or solutions. The only solution I know is that Jesus is the answer. He broke down the simplicity of how we find purpose, meaning and joy in life. It is as simple as Love Him, (God through Christ) and Love Them, the people we come into contact with. That love for others is unconditional. It isn't without pain or disagreement at times but it is nonetheless, love. In today's world, we see a lot of pain and conflict. There is clearly disagreement but Shelley is an example that life is fragile.
I've seen the fragility of life in so many ways. I now am alone 90% of the time. It is something I never thought I would experience but with of the loss of my dear wife Mary Jane. Then the isolation from the season of covid. Then with social media, people find interacting via text, online, and so forth easier than face to face. Unfortunately, we lose something needed in life, relationship. Even though Adam walked with God, God still saw his need for human companionship. In today's world, we make excuses to not experience meaningful relationship. I think Shelley needed that and whether her own, or the fault of others, she ended her life and I still have questions.
As my own loneliness grows I wonder about things like this and lately a lot about Shelley because she is one of many. Do we care? Will we be there for others? Will we take seriously the concept of Loving Him, and Loving Them? Or, will we just go on in life with the status quo where others just don't matter? I feel most of the times that others will just go on, offering lip service but not really making the sacrifice of taking up their cross and following Jesus on a daily basis. I pray I am wrong.
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