CHAPTER
1
THE
CENTER CANDLE
The
Advent Service was a Christian Celebration rather new to the Mennonite Brethren
Church. It is a
celebration of Jesus' birth carried out on the four Sunday’s leading up to
Christmas. Advent is celebrated mostly in Liturgical churches, Catholic,
Episcopalian, Methodist, Lutheran and others of the sort. While practiced over
the years, Advent was foreign to many Anabaptists. Many Mennonites didn’t have the
closest relationships with people of these faiths and many were originally
against observing Advent. As far as most Mennonites were concerned it was the
faith of many of the Liturgical churches who had been responsible for the
martyrdom over the years of thousands of their ancestors. The Martyrs Mirror
and Foxes Book of Martyrs illustrated the stories of many Anabaptist
Mennonites. While the Mennonites Anabaptist faith was a faith that displayed
love to others; it was also a faith that knew its history.
Many
faith groups had come a long ways over the course of centuries and the
Mennonite and Liturgical churches had come to respect certain aspects about
each others faith. As many Mennonites started understanding the importance of Christ
commandment to love all people they had a better understanding of Advent and
the focus on Christ during each Sunday leading up to Christmas. The focus on the
prophesies about Jesus in the Old Testament, holiness, the respect,
understanding and role of the angels, shepherds, Jesus birth, and the reverence
shown to God during this season was something the church readily accepted and
incorporated into their services.
Advent
services in many Mennonite churches where not what rigidly religious. They often
involved children and humor. They included anything that helped the
congregation think about Christ birth. The Mennonite Church
was much closer in theology and beliefs to their Baptist friends than those of
the Liturgical faith groups. Mennonites see themselves as people of faith who believe that the most
important things in their lives is loving God, accepting Christ, and showing
others Jesus love through their examples and actions. It was for this reason
and a time of reflection regarding the ultimate gift of God that many Mennonites
started observing Advent.
********
This Christmas Eve
was one where Santa was going to have difficulty getting his reindeer to land
on the rooftop at Charlie and Tayra Hamm's house. It was raining the proverbial
cats and dogs and the temperature was just cold enough to give you a cold
chill. The hope for snow was there but the temperature was only supposed to get
down into the low 40’s. This was unfortunately typical for the winter months of
Northeast Oklahoma. There was the
understanding that local native Will Rogers knew what he was talking about when
he said; “if you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, just wait a minute.”
Charlie
and Tayra had 3 children, Sammy a 16 year old high school sophomore at Owasso High
School, his twin sister Brenda named after
Charlie’s late mother and the newborn daughter Kari.
Sammy
was a well built young man who enjoyed sports, especially football and
wrestling. He stood 6 feet tall, weighed 180 pounds and it was obvious that he
spent a lot of time in the weight room. He seldom carried more than 10% body
fat. This was due to his participation in wrestling and trying to keep his
weight at a comfortable weight while at the same time maintaining the benefits
of training in the weight room. As far as many of the girls at school were
concerned, he was a "hunk". His long blonde hair, reaching down just
to the center crest of the top of his back was always clean and kept back in a
pony tail. When it wasn’t in a pony tail it would come down to his shoulders
around the slender curvature of his face. Of course this changed for Sammy
during wrestling season when he kept his hair shorter so he wouldn’t have to
wear a hair covering underneath his headgear. He tried the hair cover once but
it kept getting pulled over his eyes. He eventually decided the length of his
hair wasn’t worth the discomfort.
Sam’s’
hair seemed even brighter next to the contrast of his dark skin. His mom, of
Cuban decent passed to him his dark complexion but he definitely got the blonde
hair from his father's side of the family. This along with his dark brown eyes
had him at the top of the popularity list at school. It wasn’t his features though
that was responsible for him being at the top of the popularity list. He was a genuinely
nice kid who studied hard and always going out of his way to be friendly with
the new faces showing up at one of Oklahoma’s
largest and fastest growing schools, Owasso
High School.
Brenda,
Sam's twin sister had many of the same features. She was shorter, only standing
at 5 feet 8 inches tall and slender only weighing 115 pounds. She also had long
blonde hair, a little longer than Sammy’s, especially during the winter months
when Sammy was wrestling. He occasionally wrestle in the summer months but he
didn’t have the restrictions during Freestyle and Greco wrestling that he did
during High School folk-style wrestling.
They were three different styles with different rules, one of which was
hair restrictions.
Brenda’s
face was a tad rounder than Sammy’s, she had green eyes instead of brown and
was also physically active and involved with sports. Her sports of choice were
soccer and anything having to do with running. She ran on the track and
cross-country team at school and while not a superstar, was a valuable member
of the teams she was on because she took the team concept seriously. While
cross-country and track in particular always seemed like an individual sport,
Brenda always appreciated the value of contributing to a team score which was a
reflection not just on her but her teammates and school.
While
Brenda didn’t have the large biceps due to being a female she did had a solid
muscular build, especially so in her legs. She often worked out with weights
with Sammy and her dad but she did not spend as much time training her legs as
her brother and father. Her legs where just as developed as Sammy’s and more so
than her fathers due to all of the running and soccer. She preferred to
participate in natural training methods for her legs since she was did so much
running. She also trained her core
abdominal muscles and upper body which gave her a solid and firm physique.
Brenda
was a girl many of the boys at school talked about wanting to date because she
was so attractive. They didn't know her dad wouldn't allow her to date most of
them and she wouldn't consider dating them anyway. She knew some of the boys
only wanted to date her because she was attractive or saw her as a challenge,
almost like a game competition. A date with her would be something to talk
about among their friends. Brenda was careful when she started dating. She only
went out with people who either attended church or took their faith in Jesus
seriously. Her faith, as it was for everyone in her family was important and
she was committed to be an example of Christ to others by living as much as
possible with a Christ like attitude. She believed that she should maintain a lasting
love and perfect love in Jesus. She wasn’t interested in a dating relationship
at this point in her life, a friendship, yes, but anything more; ‘no thank
you!’
Brenda
knew her witness to others was important enough that when in public she knew
that as much as possible, she needed to exemplify and model Christ. This was
prevalent in all areas of her life and she had been outspoken about it among
her friends who did not always understand why she was so dedicated to being a Jesus
Freak.
Brenda
had taken a purity pledge that she would not have sex with anyone until
married. She held the conviction that to remain a virgin prior to marriage was
possible and while it may be hard, she still made a commitment to save herself
for marriage. She believed that sex was a way of expressing the ultimate love
towards another individual and that in God’s eyes sex constituted marriage and
exemplified that perfect and ultimate love. Many of her friends, even her
Christian friends did not understand this and many of them refused to practice
what they had heard from the pulpits of their church and in scripture. Brenda
was reassured because; almost every time one of her friends had sex and talked
about it there was always the feeling of regret, if not in the moment, then certainly
later when in some occasions pregnancy occurred, or in others when the
relationship with the other person was over. Brenda knew there was nothing
wrong with children but she also understood the difficulties of raising children
those without full-time jobs had in providing for and caring for those
children. In most cases, it was the
grandparents who became the parents whether the children having children
realized it or not. Brenda had seen first hand that far more times than not,
the sexual escapades were spoken about in disrespectful ways and the
relationships between teen lovers tended to be short instead of enduring.
Brenda spoke to friends who had remained a virgin until married and knew from
speaking to them that she was making the right decision. Not only was it
possible, it was what was best.
Kari
the youngest child of Charlie and Tayra was a miracle baby. She had a much
different physical appearance than either Sammy or Brenda. Kari was a little
girl, only 6 months old was petite when born and a pleasant surprise at the
time. Charlie and Tayra where both in their late thirties and had not planed to
have anymore children. They soon realized they didn’t have complete control
over that decision. They weren't displeased with Kari, in many ways she brought
everyone in the family much closer. Kari rekindled the joy of parenthood for
Charlie and Tayra.
Kari’s
birth brought back joyous memories of when Brenda and Sammy where babies. Charlie
and Tayra were able to enjoy Kari a little more because there was only one baby
as opposed to two. Kari was a bundle of joy to the Hamm’s and even Brenda and Sammy enjoyed the
addition of a baby sister. It was hard for Sammy and Brenda to believe she was
as different in appearance from her siblings as she was.
Kari
weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces when born and was 20 inches long. She gained weight quickly
and was now wearing 9 month sized clothes. She had dark hair, almost black with
a little curl to it. She looked like her mother Tayra when she was that age.
Kari was an exceptionally good baby. She slept through the night from the
second week they brought her home from the hospital and she hardly ever cried
or pitched fits. It was a joy to wake her and change her in the mornings
because she always seemed to have an infectious smile on her face.
Charlie
and Tayra were both in their late thirties. Charlie was 38 and Tayra 37. They
met while in college and married when Charlie was 20 and Tayra was 19. While in
college they both realized they were young and had a ways to go before
finishing college but they also understood the love they had for each other and
wanted to get married as soon as possible. They never regretted their marriage
at an early age and the length of time they had been married and their children
where evidence they made the right decision.
Charlie
was a handsome man and looked younger than his age, primarily due to his almost
fanatical efforts at taking care of himself. He enjoyed lifting weights with his
son and daughter and playing soccer for the American Airlines soccer team which
played in a Tulsa
adult league. Charlie had blonde hair much like that of his twins and he stood
six feet 1inch. Sammy, his son was about the same height was expected that he
would grow at least three more inches, putting him at two inches taller than
his father.
Charlie
was the type of man admired by his family. He made every effort to be the best
father and husband he could. Even in difficult times Charlie found ways to take
care of his family and keep them strong in their faith. Charlie had put on some
weight since college, while in college he weighed 175 pounds but had gained 25
pounds since graduation. Much of the weight gain was due to working out so much
and had gained muscle instead of fat. Charlie was into body building and was
faithful in his workout regimen. He worked out at least 4 times a week and worked
each body part at least twice a week except for legs which he worked once a
week. He also alternated the types exercises for each body part at least twice monthly.
He understood the concept of shocking the muscle with variety if it was to keep
growing. His high protein diet and supplements helped. He had fallen in love
with the supplements from a company called Advocare based out of Texas. He became
familiar with them when his son started using the products during wrestling
season.
With
Charlie’s close cut, cropped blond hair, thick neck and 20 inch biceps he was a
man that on first appearance one would not want to challenge in a fight. While
he was well developed in a muscular perspective, he was also lean enough that
he was quick and not muscle bound like many weight lifters he had worked out
with in the gym. Even then though, Charlie understood that the myths of being
muscle bound and not being agile were in fact, just that, myths. He knew that
many of those in the gym had diligently worked on flexibility and many were in
fact more flexible than he. Charlie’s only weak body part was his legs. His
legs had the muscle mass but he was always jealous to some extent of his
daughter Brenda’s muscle definition. He understood this was due to her large
amount of aerobic activity. Charlie held down his aerobic activity to weekly
soccer games and practice once a week and 30-45 minuets of aerobic activity for
warm up or cool down purposes combined before and/or after his weight training
work-outs.
Charlie’s
high calorie intake from his meals enabled him to maintain muscle mass. He knew
there was something about genetics when it came to body building and his legs
where just a weak part of his genetic make up. He would never enter a body
building contest, wouldn’t even desire to but Charlie had done all he could
with what God gave him. He believed his body was a temple and others who saw
him on the beach or at the local swimming pool saw that as well.
Charlie,
originally from Wichita, Kansas realized his greatest asset was his
wife Tayra. She was of Cuban descent and they met while in college at Furman University
in Greenville, South Carolina. Charlie’s mom wanted him to
go to either Tabor College in Hillsboro, Kansas or Bethel
College in North Newton,
Kansas but Charlie was offered a scholarship
to play football at Furman in Greenville
and decided to go there. It was a larger school which had an excellent athletic
and academic credentials. It was a school which gave Charlie the chance to play
against larger schools including Clemson, Florida, Georgia
Tech and Florida State among others. For a young man
coming from Kansas
this was an opportunity he didn't want to pass up. He gladly turned down the
opportunities of two NAIA smaller colleges to compete on a NCAA Division 1
level where he would have the chance to compete against top NCAA Division 1
teams, plus have the opportunity to see another part of the country.
Furman
was good for Charlie. It was during his freshman year when he turned his ankle
during football practice when this seemingly bad event had him go to physical
therapy where he first met his future wife, Tayra. She was an assistant athletic
trainer. She caught Charlie’s attention immediately. She was an assistant
trainer for the football team and seemed to always be helping one of the
athletes with an injury. Charlie noticed her prior to his injury working on
some of the athletes in the training room. She was beautiful with long, dark,
almost black, wavy hair. Tayra was of medium height, standing five feet, five
inches tall and weighing less than 120 pounds. She was small and petite next to
Charlie with her dark skin and small physical. The two of them made a picture
perfect couple.
The
first thing Charlie noticed about her was her nose. It wasn't her most obvious
feature, but as physical features go, Charlie had noticed that with beautiful
girls it was always their nose or toes that showed some imperfections. This was
not the case with Tayra, everything about her, including her nose was
beautiful. To hear Charlie say it, "The only imperfection with my wife is
that she has a few blemishes in her toes but now everything else, including her
nose, is perfect."
While
Tayra was of Cuban decent she had never lived there. Her parents where immigrants
to America from Havana. They came to America
prior to her birth and even though her parents still spoke in a thick Cuban
accent they preferred to speak English as their language of choice after becoming
Americans. It was the primary language Tayra had learned with the exception of
1 year of Spanish and French in high school and picking up a few words at home
when her parents would slip back to their original language, especially when becoming
angry about something. Her parents insisted, ‘We chose to come to America;
we will speak and see to it that our children speak English. It is the only way
we can assure they have an equal opportunity among other children.” Tayra was
grateful for this approach as she never had to deal with the difficulties she
had observed with many of her friends who didn't speak English.
Tayra’s
family lived in Southern Florida not to far from Miami
in a small city named Homestead when first coming
to America.
During her mothers’ pregnancy the family moved to Atlanta. Tayra was born in Atlanta, Georgia.
She was the youngest child and she grew up in Atlanta
and Marietta, a suburb of Atlanta until the completion of high school. Tayra
would visit Homestead on occasion but mainly for
family reunions and vacationing in Miami.
It
was while working on Charlie’s ankle in the training room at Furman University
that Tayra immediately noticed how polite he was. Furman University
was noted for having athletes who where also honor students, not the typical
jocks most schools had that played football. Even with this reputation, Charlie
stood above many of the other athletes with his politeness and manners. He was,
in every since of the word, a gentlemen. His handsome features and sense of humor
got Tayra’s attention. It didn't take long for her and Charlie to hit it off. By
the end of the football season they were sitting together on the plane or bus
trips to the away games. Tayra was spending a lot of study time with Charlie and
it wasn’t long before they realized their love for each other, of course they
were so innocent their friends saw it long before they did.
One
of the reasons Charlie and Tayra got along so well was that even prior to
college they were committed to their Christian faith. They spent as much time
going to church as to movies. They were both involved in Furman’s Fellowship of
Christian Athletes and were open to sharing their faith with others. They were
also involved in Bible study groups together. Their faith and love not only
grew for each other but also for their Lord, Jesus Christ. They weren’t like a
lot of people who went to church. They didn’t just preach to others with words
but like the quote from St. Francis of Assisi,
they chose to “preach the Gospel, and if necessary, use words.” They realized of course the importance of
using words, but they also understood the importance of living their lives in
such a way that others approached them with questions about spirituality.
Charlie
and Tayra had been married for 18 years and they where just as much in love as
ever. They seldom argued and made the effort to never go to bed angry even on
the rare occasion they did argue. If there was ever a seemingly perfect couple
in their love for each other, it was Charlie and Tayra. Many people wondered
how they had such a wonderful relationship, always holding hands or sitting in
church with Charlie’s arm around his wife. It wasn’t uncommon to even see Tayra
reach up to give Charlie a kiss, maybe a little peck of gratitude, but on rare
special occasions, a meaningful, loving, romantic kiss. It was clear, the opinions of others around
them were not as important as their love for God and each other. They often said it was without a doubt their
relationship and love for God that enabled them to love each other the way they
did.
Charlie
and Tayra were Christians who took their faith seriously and even before
Charlie became involved with The Promise Keepers, a Christian organization for men;
he had practiced the concept of loving his wife in the same way that Christ
loved the Church. He was understanding, kind, and gentle in all regards
concerning being a father and a husband, yet in some things related to his
faith, he was firm and without compromise, especially in the loving of his
family and training his children in the ways of the Lord. His living as an
example of Christ was one of the many reasons his wife and children loved him
so much and truly respected the decisions he made. The family often prayed
about difficult decisions and sometimes Charlie had to make the bottom line
decision but he always involved his family and did what was best for them. This
was why, even when sometimes making the wrong decisions his family was willing
to follow his lead and example. He wasn’t a ruthless leader. He sought advice
from his family and with a great deal of prayer he was often submitted to the
desires of his family and their wisdom in doing what was best for them, even to
the point of sacrificing his own desires.
******
The Hamm family was happy living in Owasso, a bedroom
community just north of Tulsa.
One could easily see the Tulsa
skyline from the city limits of Owasso and people were moving to Owasso to
capture some of the small town feel. Unfortunately, it was growing so fast that
it was hard to distinguish the difference at times. The Hamm’s had lived in Owasso for the last 10
years and enjoyed the church they attended.
Discovery Bible Fellowship, formerly Westport
Mennonite Brethren
Church sat on the corner of Highway 20
and Old 169 approximately 18 miles north of Tulsa. While Tulsa
had expanded in all directions including the north around Owasso and Collinsville, Discovery Bible Fellowship was approximately
halfway between Owasso and Collinsville.
Owasso was one of
the fasted growing communities in the state and the area around the church was blossoming
with the development of new housing and commercial properties. While there were ample farms near by, Charlie
anticipated it would only be a few years before most of them were memories. This
growth was a good thing in many regards due to the development of jobs near
Owasso, especially American Airlines and Whirlpool. Of course with the growing
community and dependency on those jobs one would hope for and pray for a stability
which would last. Anything to threaten
that stability for new homeowners and families could be devastating. Some of
the older manufacturing jobs that refused to keep up were already feeling the
pressure. Some of them closed and others had cut back drastically creating for
some, the inability to find jobs that could sustain their way of life. Of
course there were disadvantages as well, along with the growth came the loss of
a small town feel and many of the small town ways, where neighbors knew their
neighbor and cared about all of the complexities that existed in their lives. A
community that had a small town family feel, was quickly moving to a larger
modern world where the individual was more important than the community and
ones on concerns were based on self interest as opposed to community interest.
Discovery
Bible Fellowship was one of the oldest Mennonite Brethren churches in Oklahoma and had been at
its present location since the late 1890’s. The church, a nice, attractive,
plain brick building, with an attached large fellowship hall and community
center had grown over the years both is its space and numerically. It had over
300 members each Sunday Morning and was still growing in numbers. The church changed
its name to adapt to a more contemporary format in design and style of worship
to reach the young families moving into the community. During the holidays,
just as was the case in many churches, there was even more who attended. The
only down time in regards to attendance was during the summer months, largely due
to vacations but also because some members still operated farms and ranches in
the area. During the summer the farms and ranches needed extra attention due to
harvest and other reasons. The thing impacting the most during certain times of
the year was the weather. One never knew if they were going to get rain,
tornadoes, excessive heat, draught, strong winds, or any other weather extreme which
could be devastating to the crops or herds, requiring immediate attention.
******
The
Hamm’s arrived
at church late due to Tayra having to change a diaper for Kari prior to leaving
the house. The rain didn’t make getting to church any easier. It was raining
hard, and at times in heavy sheets as was often the case in an Oklahoma thunderstorm.
Normally during a hard rain one had to worry about possible tornadoes but the
cold front over the Tulsa
area was stationary and there was no threat of any severe weather other than
rain and the dangers which came with lightening, which were at times, many. Most
of the lightening was distant though so the weather was more of a nuisance than
anything. The threat of tornadoes occurred more in the spring and fall months. During
those times it was not unusual to have the winds, hail, and horizontal rain
that concerned many that a tornado was eminent. This was just a regular Oklahoma storm that
while harsh, wasn't dangerous.
As
Charlie drove into the church parking lot he drove around to the front of the
church to let Tayra and the kids out under the drive through covering. This way
they wouldn’t get wet. There was an unusually large number of people at Church
for the Christmas Eve Advent service, especially with the rain. Most everyone
at the service was already in the Church. The service had started at 7:00 PM and
it was now 7:12. Charlie finally found a parking space but it was a distance
from the Church entrance. He would have used the umbrella they kept in the
floorboard of the backseat but Brenda or Sammy got it when they got out with
their mother. It started raining harder as Charlie got out of the car to go
into the Church. All he could think of at the moment is how they got out at the
covered entrance way and how they really didn't need the umbrella.
Tayra,
Sammy, Brenda and Kari waited in the front vestibule for Charlie. As he walked
in he just looked at Sammy standing there with the umbrella. Sammy was
unfortunately all too familiar with, ‘the look.’ Sammy would be the first to tell you that his
father had the look that said everything one wouldn't want to hear audibly but
the message was still clear from his facial expression. Sammy had seen it many
times while in wrestling tournaments doing some bone headed move that cost him
a takedown, a point, or in a rare instance, a victory. It was the look Charlie gave Sammy after
seeing the umbrella, dry as all get out. Sammy realized he had the umbrella and didn’t
need it as much as his dad. Sammy was smart, he had learned from experience,
that in times like this, it was best to say nothing. As Charlie drip dried in the
vestibule, Sammy knew, he hadn't thought things through when getting out of the
car.
After a brief stop at the restroom for Charlie
to attempt to dry off with paper towels and a blow dryer and comb his hair,
Tayra took Kari to the nursery. A few minutes later Charlie, Tayra, Sammy and
Brenda walked into the church sanctuary. Upon entering the sanctuary, the Hamm’s waited briefly for
Pastor Steve, to finish a prayer. They walked into the sanctuary as the
Minister of Worship, Pastor Phil, was getting ready to lead the church in singing
‘O Little Child of Bethlehem.’ The congregation was standing so it didn’t bring
as much attention to the Hamm’s
arriving late as it could have otherwise.
The
church was beautifully decorated with evergreen branches around the windows and
pews. The evergreens, and decorations decorated the beautiful Oak window
casings and eaves. There were candles in each window with a large, real
Christmas tree up at the front of the church. It was at least 8 feet tall and
beautifully decorated in green and red decorations. Over in a corner at the
front of the church was a nativity scene. Above the nativity was a large banner
with a golden star and the words written in candy apple red, ‘Unto us this day
is born a Savior’.
Pastor
Phil saw the Hamm’s
standing at the back of the church waiting to come in. He realized they were late and Charlie was obviously
wet from the rain. Pastor Phil didn’t want the Hamm’s any more embarrassed than
they already were so he had the congregation stand so the Hamm’s could walk in
and find their seats more comfortably and with less embarrassment. This helped
because the only vacant seats where in the first three rows of the sanctuary
and the first place with enough room for the family to sit together was on the
second row. The Hamm’s
had to walk in front of people in the row, thankfully stepping on fewer toes
than they would have if everyone was sitting down to get to their seats but
they were finally in their seats, including Charlie, with his still wet, blonde
hair and all.
As
they walked in several people in the church made comment of them coming into
the service late. Not to complain or make them feel bad but to mention how they
had obviously had a rough time prior to getting there. The family was well
respected among those in the church who knew them and the comments, some out
loud was kind of making fun of in a respectful way as well as kidding the
family, especially Charlie. Discovery
was a church where people genuinely cared for each other. It was obvious that Charlie
had a rough time that evening but there he was, still smiling and taking time
to stop and say hi to people as he walked past them despite some of them
kidding him. The look and emotion displayed towards Sammy was gone and no one
knew he had been even a little upset over the umbrella incident. Sammy using
wisdom left the umbrella at the coat rack at the church entrance.
Sammy
and Brenda were sometimes embarrassed by their father's outgoing attitude but
tonight wasn’t one of those times. After all, it was Christmas Eve and tomorrow
was the big day. Sammy and Brenda didn’t
know exactly what they were getting for Christmas because their parents always
went out of their way to disguise the gifts when wrapping them. The kids did
know they would have a nice Christmas because of past history. They had also
forgone the mistake of looking for presents early in the past. They had done
that once, opened up the presents and tried to rewrap them only to be
discovered. That particular Christmas, the presents had been donated to charity
and while some of them were replaced, the children had learned a valuable
lesson. Out of that experience though, they also started a tradition of taking
some of their toys and clothes and donating them to local charities and homeless
programs which served the less fortunate each Christmas.
Christmas
was Charlie’s favorite holiday and he went out of his way to see to it that his
wife and children had a Merry Christmas. The motivating factor for this was when
he was a child, times were tough. Despite the tough times, Christmas was still
special for Charlie as a child. It was a time when the simplest of gifts was
appreciated. His attitude and simplicity was passed on to his wife and children
because his attitude was so contagious.
"For
our next hymn lets continue standing and sing ‘Away in a Manger,’ and as we
sing lets reflect on the baby Jesus and what He gave up in coming to earth for
us. He left His Father in Heaven due to His love for each of us. He was born into
a poor family so that He could relate to all people on earth and offer each of
us salvation. Let’s worship the Lord as we reflect on this, on this Christmas
Eve." Pastor Phil instructed the congregation as the guitars and piano
started in the playing of the song ‘Away in a Manger’.
While
singing the song some in the church raised their hands as a sign of gratitude
and thanks as they reflected on the gift God had given to humanity. Charlie
sang without much reflection on worship because as kind, polite and reflective
as he was, he was still trying to get dry and at the same time dry his hair
without making it any messier than it was. Fixing his hair was a loosing
battle. He finally gave up on it when he saw Tayra raising her hands in worship
while at the same time being distracted by Charlie as she gave him one of her
looks. "Sorry Honey." Charlie whispered as he straightened his hair
one last time and winked at her.
"Thanks."
Tayra said, with a smile showing love and compassion as she accepted the
apology; at the same time once again, closing her eyes and raising both hands
in worship.
After
the song Pastor Phil prayed, "Father in Heaven we thank You for giving us
Your Son. Thank you Lord, you gave the ultimate gift for our salvation and the hope
and purpose in living this life. Father, please forgive us for the sins we have
committed which made it necessary for Your Son to come to earth as that babe.
Jesus we thank you for your willingness to come and give yourself up for us. Be
with us now as we go into a time of reflection and teaching on this the
anniversary of your birth. In Your name we pray, amen."
Pastor
Steve was a rather large man. He stood six feet tall and weighed 260 pounds. His
salt and pepper short cropped hair cut needed a little length to cover some of
the thinning spots but his jolly round face, complete with his light complexion
and green eyes always seemed to compliment his impressive smile, complete with
the squared and dimpled chin. Despite having a double chin the dimple still
showed and there was that special glimmer to his eyes. He was kind and gentle and always went out of
his way to help others. He often spent time with Charlie and his family having
lunch, dinner, and on occasion visiting Charlie and Tayra’s small group Bible
study. While Pastor Steve grew up in a Christian family, gone to college and
then seminary, he came across as a regular guy who worked hard at getting to
know people in the congregation. Charlie
had met many pastors who seemed to have never lived in the real world and never
tried to understand those living in the real world. Pastor Steve wasn’t one of
those pastors. Charlie and others in the congregation appreciated his honesty,
even during the times that he may confront them about something they had done
wrong. Because he had gone out of his way to love those he came into contact
with, he had earned the right to confront those when things were wrong. Pastor
Steve was truly, one of the good guys.
Pastor
Steve stood in the pulpit, looking over the congregation, smiling at many of
the members in a personal, pleasant way as he made eye contact. He walked down
to the front of the pulpit stage area to give his advent message. Pastor Steve
held to many of the traditions of the earlier Mennonite History, realizing that
coming down off of the stage put him on the same level as the congregation, and
not one to per say look up to. Pastor Steve was not a stationary speaker, he
moved around the congregation, keeping the people awake, never knowing what he
was going to do next the people kept their focus on him. As he walked towards
the congregation he smiled at Charlie and asked him in a loud amplified voice
as amplified by the microphone for the congregation to hear. "So Charlie
how’s the weather?" Pastor Steve asked as everyone responded with laughter
due to Charlie still showing obvious signs of being out in the rain during the
worst part of the storm.
While
some may have found it unusual, Pastor Steve had led the church in such a way
that when he asked a question, people responded. "Wet" was all
Charlie said, in a loud enough voice for the congregation to hear. It was good
that Charlie was up front in the church as the rest of the congregation
couldn't see his red face from the embarrassment. Charlie handled it well
though as he ruffled his wet hair while answering the question. The
congregation laughed again. Charlie and Steve had a great relationship with
each other and Steve knew Charlie would take the joke well and respond even
better.
"Yea
it does look like it is wet out there but you know it's a good thing we have
shelter to come into, dry off and get warm.” Charlie didn’t know where this was
going, but it was clear that Pastor Steve was getting ready to use the situation
to get his point across. It didn’t take long to see what the Pastor intended as
he continued. “You know, I know we have all heard the story of Jesus birth but
did anyone ever stop to think what it must have been like for Mary and Joseph on
that the night? I mean what was the weather like? What were their feelings? What
emotions were they experiencing? We often think of the baby Jesus, the shepherds,
the wise men and all of that but put yourself in their shoes. What were they
going through? The mother of Jesus had been told she was pregnant, even though
she was a virgin and then the man Joseph who was engaged to her and knew he had
never had intercourse with her. How could he not have some doubts? Imagine their thoughts on this night, the
night of the birth of the Savior of the World.”
For
the next 15 minuets Pastor Steve spoke about that first Christmas. He drew
comparisons many in the church could relate to. What it must have been like
having a baby in conditions that were not the best. He also spoke of how God made
the effort to relate to each of us, especially those having rough and difficult
times. “As we go through those rough times we can look back on what Jesus and
his family went through. We can relate to Him better if we understand and are
honest with Him. Jesus and his family went through situations as hard if not
harder than those we might be going through. He wasn't just the Savior from our
sins, He offered Himself to be the Savior of our situation. No matter what we
have gone through, this King of the Universe left the glories of Heaven to come
and be born in a manger, a nice word for a feeding troth so He could relate to
us. Jesus chose to become one of us so
we could better understand Him and He in return better understand us.”
Near
the end of the message Pastor Steve had a small boy come up to the front of the
church. Charlie had seen the boy before but didn't know his name. Pastor Steve
spoke in a calm voice as he approached the advent wreath. The wreath had four
white candles on the outside burning for the duration of the service but the
center purple candle had not been lit. The lighting in the church was much
dimmer than usual and the light reflecting off the Advent wreath and the
greenery surrounding it was beautiful. This was especially so with the
evergreen draped around the church and the candles in each of the stained glass
windows around the sanctuary lit.
The
little boy with Pastor Steve was no more than 4 years old and he had obviously
not been paying attention to the activities of the evening. This was evident from
the box of crayons he was holding in his little hands. The little boy was
standing next to Pastor Steve trying to put the loose crayons back in the box.
"This
young man represents each of us here tonight." Pastor Steve said as he
walked the boy to the Advent wreath holding his hand. The small, boy, with his
red curly hair, looked up at Pastor Steve as he spoke. It was clear the little
guy was all boy by the worn and torn jeans and the unlaced shoe on his right
foot. The grass stains on his jeans showed that he enjoyed playing outside,
just like most little boys his age.
"He
is young and at times will end up getting into some trouble throughout his
life, especially in the next few years. We can also be certain that he has
probably already been in trouble. Is that right Jake?" The pastor asked
while looking down. Jake did not answer verbally, he just stood there looking
up at the big bear of a man, Pastor Steve as he shook his head yes. This
brought a laugh from many in the congregation.
Pastor
Steve reached down and picked up Jake, who had now put the box of crayons in his
front pants pocket. As Pastor Steve reached down, Jake reached out his arms in
response. Pastor Steve had picked him
and virtually every other kid in the church up and played with them in the past,
it was instinctive for them to come to them. The children weren’t reluctant to
be picked up by Pastor Jake and their love for him mirrored the love children
must have had for Jesus. This was a part of Pastor Steve’s efforts when
spending time with the children in the church. He wanted them to know and feel
the love he had for them, mirroring as best as possible, Jesus love for them.
He also realized it was a way to make sure that the parents knew they had a
responsibility to also mirror that love.
Pastor
Steve continued his teaching, "Just as Jake’s parents are to be there to
help guide and direct Jake as he gets older. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to
save us and help us in times of trouble. This candle tonight represents the
gift God gave us and as I help Jake light the candle I want us to reflect on
how that just as a child goes to his parents for help and guidance, that if we
have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our Forgiver and Leader, then we
can go to Him and get loving guidance with the understanding that God is
perfect and gives us His perfect love. The guidance Jesus gives us through his
Holy Spirit and the Holy Bible is so much more perfect than what we can give
each other. The love God gives is rooted in the gift of Jesus; it is a perfect
love and a perfect gift." Many in the church could relate to what Pastor
Steve was saying and him using little Jake had the example hitting home.
"Jake
would you mind helping me light this candle?" Pastor Steve asked. Jake didn’t
say a word but looked at Pastor Steve with a big smile on his face shaking his
head no. “Please Jake?” Pastor Steve
asked again. Reluctantly, with a smile,
Jake shook his head yes.
Pastor Steve took
one of the lit candles from the Advent wreath and used Jake’s hands to help
hold it. While lighting the center candle, Pastor Steve said, "This candle
represents the ultimate gift of love from God, His son Jesus Christ. As the
candle burns tonight let us think of the times we can go to Christ whether in
need or not. While Jesus wants us to go to Him in times of need, He also wants us
to go to Him in times of thanks and worship. Let's be reminded that it was Jesus
that came to be with us as a human while at the same time He was the Son of
God. Jesus knows our needs and He knows how to relate to us. It is up to us as
to what we will with the gift He gave each of us." Pastor Steve took a few
minutes to expound on what he had said and its meaning, he wanted the
congregation to think about the simple concepts he had presented while holding
Jake.
When done, Pastor
Steve asked the congregation to bow their heads. “Father, thank you for the
gift you gave each of us in your son. Jesus, thank you for relating to each of
us in a way we can understand. The gift is the best we could ever receive. We
thank you that we have the opportunity for eternal life through You.” Pastor Steve changed his tone, now addressing
those in the congregation. “Now to those in the congregation, I ask you to pray
silently where you are. Thank God for something
specific in your life.” After a few minuets of reflection and meditation for
the congregation, Pastor Steve simply said, "In Christ name, amen."
Pastor Steve then put down Jake and Jake ran into the arms of his mother.
After
the message by Pastor Steve it was still early so many of those at church
stayed around for the next hour celebrating Christmas Eve with refreshments in
the fellowship hall. The Hamm’s
stayed around after everything was over to help clean the church and fellowship
hall after everyone else left. There were tables and chairs to be wiped down
and the Hamm's
wanted the janitorial staff to get out of church early so they could spend time
with their families. They always took into consideration those who were less
fortunate, it was a part of the Mennonite tradition they held on to and the
values implemented and reaffirmed from Furman University. After everything was cleaned up Pastor Steve
came over to the Hamm’s, "It’s getting close to 9:30 guys, you all go on home
and get ready for tomorrow."
Sammy
was there with his dad and didn’t say anything but it was obvious from his body
movements and nonverbal communication that he was in agreement with Pastor
Steve. Sammy was even happier when he heard his dad say, "Yea I guess we do
need to get home and see if Ol’ Saint Nick is coming tonight." While Sammy
was getting older, he loved Christmas and knew how much his family went out of
their way to provide for the celebration.
Charlie,
ignoring Sammy in a more serious tone responded to Pastor Steve, "I
appreciate your message tonight Steve."
"Thanks,
but get this family of yours home!" Pastor Steve responded again in a
joking tone.
"OK,
but thanks again and have a Merry Christmas." Charlie responded while
sticking out his hand for a hand shake.
"Merry
Christmas to you and your family as well Charlie." Pastor Steve said as
the Hamm’s put
on their jackets. They took their time getting Kari wrapped up prior to giving Steve
a hug and a “Merry Christmas!” as they walked out of the church. They
noticed it was still raining cats and dogs. Charlie looked at Sammy, handing
him the car keys, "go bring the car around son," Charlie said with a
smile on his face.
Sammy asked if he could have
the umbrella as Charlie stood there holding it. Charlie just gave him the look
and Sammy knew, he was going to get wet as Charlie just stood there, shaking
his head no. Sammy took off running to
get the car. Charlie cracked a smile as Tayra looked at him with one of her
looks and the rain started to come down even harder.
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