If I Die Before I Wake, I pray

 

 Coronary Heart Disease, one of those things we like to things we like to think we can control and know about, but in reality, we don't until often times, it is too late.

On the surface there are those who would like to throw out blame or suspicions of things, like, I should have eaten better, I am to big, on and on, but here are the facts. In the last 2 years now I've lost close to 50 pounds and am still safely and appropriately loosing weight. My resting heart rate as of last week was 72, my blood pressure was 114/60, my blood sugars are averaging less than or right at 120.  All good things, in fact, according to my doctor and cardiologist, "If you weren't in such good shape you would be dead. It's a miracle you're alive."  A Miracle?  Yes, a miracle.

You see after the cauterization of my heart on Thursday, (this all started on Tuesday) it was discovered that there is a "GREAT" vein on the right side of my heart, however, there are 3 blocked arteries on the left side, not just with some blockage, but blocked 100%. Thus the miracle that I am walking and alive.

So, if things are so great, why me?  After all, a couple of weeks ago I was walking around Branson Missouri and Eureka Springs Arkansas, feeling fine except for this lingering issue that has been bothering me now for almost 2 years, heartburn.  I had been to the doctors to have it checked out. It was originally diagnosed as an ulcer after Mary Jane's death. I was taking ulcer medicines that seemed to help and was as of the last month or so eating and heartburn medicines like candy. Yet, at Branson and Eureka Springs I started having severe "heartburn." I had in the past gotten in a hot shower which seemed to help but that was once every now and then. Well after multiple episodes of having to do this over several nights, at the encouragement of a friend I have written about, I went to the doctors and there it was discovered. I needed emergency surgery sooner than later.

Here are some of the contributors that help bring about heart disease.

1) the use of tobacco: I don't use tobacco.

2) Diabetes:  Yes I am diabetic I am doing so good in that area that there is serious discussion of coming totally off of my medications.

3) High Blood Pressure: well my blood pressure is really good, see above.

4) Cholesterol: here, my cholesterol levels fall within the normal categories and bad cholesterol is down, good cholesterol is up.

5) Diet: again, folks around me are typically surprised at how little I eat and how healthy I eat.

6) Hereditary:  BINGO! I come from a family history filled with heart issues but I didn't worry, after all, look at the numbers above.

7) Stress:  BINGO! Do you know my story, of fighting and being with my wife for over a year and a half being her only caregiver, begging at times for help, and being able to work or have time to myself? How about a former daughter in law, lying through her teeth, violating a court order and taking one of the only bits of joy from me, not allowing me to see my granddaughter in almost 7 months now because apparently I love my son and have a great relationship with him, btw, I have the texts that show her expressing and lying about this.

Those last 2 things are the likely contributor to my issues right now, the truth is, there is little if anything I could do about either of them. I'm likely not the only one to fall into this category, likely so do some of you.

The purpose of this post:  It really is quite simple, I can't change my situation, I don't see outside of a miracle or having my former daughter in law put in jail for a violation of a court order helping me see my granddaughter and there is nothing I can do to change my family history. I can continue on a heart healthy diet, see my doctors, and do what I am told, all will help, but little else will without the elimination of stress issues and this don't even touch things like still having to wait on Sedgwick County to take the criminal action against the contractors that put my family literally through hell in my wife's last days on this earth.

Here is what I want to say, if you have any symptoms, fall into any of the above categories, take your health seriously. Sometimes people don't think I do, it frustrates me, because those who know me know how much I do. I go to doctors every three months or as I need and more. Yes I can be stubborn but I don’t' like insinuations that I am stupid. When a cardiologist says it is a "miracle" I'm alive, I understand doctors use that word with extreme rarity.

If or when I die, one of the things I want people to say about me is that I cared about others because I do. I know what God has done for me and if He would do it for me He will do it for you. I want people to know I love Jesus who has commanded me to love others unconditionally and to love Him with my all. It's simple, I care for you.

I beg, I implore you, keep up with your health, see your doctors, don't take any symptoms lightly, I'll be honest I did, after all, "heartburn," thankfully my friend Pam who I have written about before got on me and made me promise to see a doctor. Sometimes, it takes the actions of others to push us to the place we need to be.

I post this not for sympathy, but as a way to say, stay on top of your own health. I say that, well, I say that because I care for you. The last thing I need is the stress and pain of losing another friend. I've experienced that way too much in 2020. God let 2021 be a better year, if not, let us at least learn to love each other more.

https://thevirtualpew.blogspot.com/2020/11/not-so-happy-holidays.html

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For Better or Worse

Where do I start?  Mary Jane and I first met around 1976 - 1977, in 1978 we begin our relationship and married in 1979.  The day of our wedding was supposed to be a dual celebration. We were going to get married, and on the same day, celebrate her mother, Ruby, and father Ed's 50th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately Ruby died prior to the wedding but we still wanted to honor them on Tuesday November 20, 1979.  

It was a small wedding, some folks were shocked we were even getting married as Mary Jane is a little older. Not that much and not uncommon in a lot of circles and certainly the longevity of our relationship and marriage has showed many of those people, wrong.  Now a days I feel at times older even though she is fighting pancreatic cancer. I have pains from years of sports like football, soccer, basketball, boxing, and the one that did the most damage to a never little boy, running. The pounding has me with a horrible back and the rupture or tear of an Achilles heel that never had surgery doesn't help.

Truth is, for the overwhelming majority of our marriage it has been great, there have been tough times though, like the stupid period of my life where a lesser woman with less love would have divorced me. Some think success is a way to build a relationship but I learned that success to the level that I was experiencing it was taking time away from my family which had me doing some pretty stupid things. Mary Jane though, while life has not been perfect has been as close to a perfect wife a I could ever have. While I have great regrets at times for my stupidity, in the end, I know how blessed I have been to have this mountain girl, coming from a Christian family and a strong faith in God in my life to help me recognize my weaknesses and keep me growing in my faith. Mary Jane has in essence, been my balance to keep me grounded and from doing stupid things.  I honestly don't know how I would have made it without her.

In my book, The Keystone Kid I write about some of this, my stupidity, my life which was miserable in so many ways and the way God used her to bring about a real love in my life. While I had the love of God in my life, although I still struggled with it at the time, I needed an example of what it meant to be a Godly. Because of the abuse I went through I needed a physical example of love. God used Mary Jane in a mighty way to show me physical love and real love from a human perspective.

Lately, it hasn't been easy. The cancer takes its toll. There are days that are not good, days that I resort to in some ways the person I used to be. I want her to live, I have fussed at her to do the things she needs to do to stay alive, to have a chance to beat this thing called cancer. In all of that, and in the times I reflect on the love we have had and still experience, I have shed more tears in the last months than I have in my previous almost 60 years of life. Some people don't understand that, they make judgments, all I know, is that as Mary Jane can verify, the doctors and nurses keep telling me to keep on doing what I need to do as whatever it is, is working.  It was only a few weeks ago that I was wondering if we would see one more Christmas? Would there be life that was recognizable for Thanksgiving?  Truth is, right now we think there is hope, we know for Thanksgiving, we are praying for continued progress for Christmas. And we are really praying for at least one last trip together with our friend The Praters to Lake Tahoe later this year.

There are still hurts though, hurts that drive me crazy like realizing the situation my wife is going through, after all, it is pancreatic cancer. There are those we love the most who have let us down, they still find reason to not be around, few of those reasons in my opinion are justifiable when understanding the situation Mary Jane is in. There are things I don't understand, things I can't accept because of the love I have for my wife and the sacrifices I have seen her make in life for others. She has made incredible sacrifices with little recognition of what she has done. From the mother she has been to her children, the unconditional love to her grandchildren, to the 39 years of teaching in public schools because that is where she felt God would have her despite her talent and ability to have been able to make it in the music ministry industry and world. She has given so much to the Mentally Ill, to develop appropriate race relations in the middle of a prejudiced world and then to providing so much for the homeless. We have housed prostitutes, prisoners right out of jail, misguided musicians, and I could go on and on, to sometimes housing just people having a rough spot in life. She has given literally tens of thousands of hours and dollars, she has put her pocketbook and calendar to the test of love. Yet, at the same time being robbed, being called names she didn't deserve and have others we have shown love to stab her/us in the back and never shown appreciation. We have had people living with us, helping them for at least 35 years of our 39 years of marriage, 40 years of being together. I challenge anyone to show that type of a lifetime of work. The most incredible thing though, she has endured and put up with me for 40 years. That contribution is not lost on me.

People say they have the best wife, I don't deny that as I think that God provides soul mates if we look for them, surrender to Him and then are obedient to the concepts of marriage as outlined in the Bible. People don't succeed because either they don't have a relationship with God, or they are unwilling to follow His guidelines. As an example, prior to my wife's illness, I still took her out on weekly dates, I still prepared meals for her, I still opened the car door for her and many of the other things you do in a dating, falling in love relationship. Many find excuses to not keep doing those things and then wonder why their marriages fail. I took seriously the scripture that I was to love my wife in the way that Christ loved the church. While I am not perfect, that command has a lot of weight to it.

Enough of all of that, today we won't be able to go out on a date due to the weather and chemo, we can't go out to a restaurant and eat due to the possibility of catching an infectious illness, there is a lot we can't do, but, we can sit together, watch a movie while holding hands. We can share a kiss and say I love you. We can experience love outside of the physical way we have in the past because that isn't always possible with cancer either. I can do other things though like get up and fix her a bowel of cream of wheat which she is wanting for breakfast. Wait a second, I better get up and fix that cream of wheat, after all, it is our anniversary. 

To see Mary Jane's performing my original song, Dancing with Jesus, click on the following video or link.  Note the video will not be available until after 5:15 CST November 20, 2018

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Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word. Here is our contact information

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Email: mike@furches.org

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