The Virtual Pew Daily

Sunday, August 15, 2021

Hearing God In The Whispers

Sometimes life is difficult, so difficult in fact that we are almost ready to give up. The walls around us close in and the stress can be so difficult that we are ready to give up. Those emotions and feelings have recently been smothering me, even as good things in life happen, there are no guarantees of happiness or joy. The sad truth is, we all at times face difficulty.

I unfortunately have a disorder called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, that makes things even more complicated in the above area. They are compounded with feelings of worthlessness, and the experiences in life can be a reminder that nothing good is going to happen and that life is set up for failure. There is the desire to be accepted, to be loved, to feel a since of a word I hate, “normalcy.” While there is a need to be loved, and reminders needed of feeling like one has accomplished something in life for everyone, due to typically abuse or some form of life-threatening event, this is especially true for the victims of PTSD. With a very tough week that I recently had, my PTSD was kicking in more than usual. The specifics as to the triggers are not so important, the way that God came through to help in the little things are.

I am reminded at this point of a passage from 1 Kings 19: 9-13 9 and he spent the night there in a cave.

While Elijah was on Mount Sinai, the Lord asked, “Elijah, why are you here?”

10 He answered, “Lord God All-Powerful, I’ve always done my best to obey you. But your people have broken their solemn promise to you. They have torn down your altars and killed all your prophets, except me. And now they are even trying to kill me!”

11 “Go out and stand on the mountain,” the Lord replied. “I want you to see me when I pass by.”

All at once, a strong wind shook the mountain and shattered the rocks. But the Lord was not in the wind. Next, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 Then there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

Finally, there was a gentle whisper, 13 and when Elijah heard it, he covered his face with his coat. He went out and stood at the entrance to the cave.

The Lord asked, “Elijah, why are you here?”

In the above passage I have come to realize, although I don’t practice it perfectly, that sometimes in searching for God, in finding peace, maybe just maybe we need to take a step back and listen to the gentle whisper of God. Maybe just maybe making sure that we enjoy, appreciate, and observe the little things are the ways that God can bring us back to a place of peace. For me this week, that was the case.

It started out in a number of ways, first was spending some quality time with my fiancé after a little bit of a misunderstanding. Taking the time to communicate, be open and honest with one another despite the relationship is a place to start. Then sometimes there are the gentle reminders that you’ve made a difference and in reality, have friends who mean something to you, where you’ve made a difference. This week God had two friends who I hadn’t seen in a very long time just happen to run into me, one who was passing through Wichita and another who I happened to run into from Dallas Texas who was at a little Amish restaurant in a little Amish town of Yoder Kansas. What are the odds. My fiancé has reminded me of how the smile on my face was so beautiful and how good it was to see me so happy. God will find a way if we listen to the whispers.

Saturday Night/Sunday morning was another time. My fiancé and I happened to take a walk late in the evening on a golf course, and then later that night, late night we decide to go lay down on the golf course on a blanket, in the middle of the country, and watch a meteor shower. Laying down, gazing at the heavens we realize the mighty power of God and the beauty of His creation. I was reminded of the song. “The universe declares Your majesty, you are holy, you are holy…” As we sang together a few tears pop up because it was in Gods’ gentle whisper in the night, gazing at God’s creation that I am reminded, God speaks in a gentle whisper.

Truth is, life sometimes is just awful, especially for someone like me who has PTSD, but in those times where it seems to be awful, and we feel so lost, if we step back, spend time with those we love, or even alone, and listen to the gentle whisper of God, maybe, just maybe, we will feel more complete and recognize the purpose God has for us. Something to think about. Now sit back and listen for that gentle whisper.

To listen to the song mentioned in the posting, click on the following link.

God of Wonders - Chris Tomlin (with lyrics) - YouTube

If willing to help, it is greatly appreciated. I ask you, do not write checks or make contributions to me. All contributions should be made either to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic. The Virtual Pew is a Religious Organization and Mosaic is a 501-C3 nonprofit.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

If desiring more information about this ministry or the testimonials from others, please don’t hesitate to ask. I really am dependent on others to support this missional ministry to keep it going. I have nothing left to give as I’ve depleted, and I’m not complaining, my savings and retirement accounts, now, it really is dependent on you to allow yourself to be used by God to help us out.

I am more than willing to share at your church, business and so forth. I have shared across America as to the work God has done and done for me. I love those opportunities.

Blessings and thank you,

Mike Furches

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There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives on The Virtual Pew and Mike Furches Reviews. You can also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone Kid at mike@furches.org You can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.

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Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Lies, Deceit and Dangerous Associations

Whose Real Anymore?

Over the years I’ve been asked more times than I can count to help others, and most of the time, when able, I have gladly done so. I think my life is a record of serving others, and I have done my best to be a person of integrity. I think much of that came about from the times I realized I had failed in so many ways and realized it is better in life to be honest than to try and impress others in whatever way we do so. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t speak truth, for example, the integrity of one’s intent and the purpose within their heart is of value. It is okay to speak truth for example, I think my band Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band is a good band that works hard and that we are as solid as a basic three piece as there is around with a very solid drummer, a very good guitar player and I think I am quite competent on the bass guitar. Is that bragging? No, I don’t think so, I think it is a statement of reality and fact. Thankfully that statement has been backed up by many world class musicians from around the world and others who have seen us live. That brings me to my next point though, what about when others think wrong of you or speak ill of you, often behind your back?

Years ago I wanted to rebel and react against some lies that were being said about me. I was referred to the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnagie. It was one of the best books on relationship and conflict that I have ever read. You don’t win friends by the arguing, back biting and so forth, you find ways to speak good of even your enemies. Above all though, you speak truth. While that seems to be contradictory there are ways to do both. It boils down to trying to find the positive about others and speak on those things. Unfortunately, even when doing so, others don’t always receive it and if they have something against you, they will never be able to speak positively of you. At that point after effort has been made, the problem is on them, not you. That doesn’t make it easy, truth is, it hurts at times, but it is important to maintain integrity and then be at peace with the decisions you have made and the things you have said. God is fully capable through His Holy Spirit to convict others of where they have been wrong. He is also capable of letting others see the truth of the situation.

Does all this mean that we allow others to go on speaking ill of us, doing us wrong, and at times, yes even using us? I think the answer to that is complicated. First, we can’t control what others say, I have been lied about so many times it is impossible to recall every situation. It is like Larry Norman said in one of his songs, “People talk about my name, they’re driving me insane, but here I am, talking about Jesus just the same.” For many, it is clear I was a friend for them when they could use me to help them, or someone else, basically any time I made them look good, but after the fact or completion of the task, despite the promises, and what I know to be lies at times, the person changes, never honoring their commitments and or keeping their word. It is as my Paps used to tell me, “If a man (or woman) aint got their word, they aint got nothing.” Unfortunately, that aspect of keeping one’s word, being honest, is a rarity for many in this world. In those situations, I tend to remember as I am called to love but, I am not called to be a fool. Unfortunately, there are those who have not kept their word, lied to me and at that point, I recall the old Aesop’s Fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I don’t listen and I choose to spend my time and efforts helping those who appreciate it and are honest with me.

Many will say the above response is not Biblical, but I disagree, I also challenge that it does little good to be spending time helping those who aren’t appreciative and do not maintain honesty. If they can’t be honest about such things, how do we know if they are honest about the things they are telling us? My late wife, and those that know me best tell me that one of my problems is that I am brutally honest. Ask me what I think, and I will tell you, not to be mean, but because I never felt that lies benefited anyone.

I am not the only one that has been hurt, lied to, and used by others, many of us have, often at the hands of those who call themselves good. It becomes clear after awhile that some will be friends if we can be of benefit to them, which is not a real friend. Are we to love our neighbors and others? Yes, we are but remember, we are to do it as, “we do ourselves.” We must be honest to ourselves and respect the time, and efforts we make as there are limitations to what we do, so, what we do, we need to do as perfectly and honorably as possible.

I suspect that for myself, and yes, many of you, that there will be those who will continue to try and use us and take advantage of us. When they do, realize, we can still love them, but that doesn’t mean that we continue to be around them and allow ourselves to be used. We should not put ourselves in situations where we knowingly know we are going to be hurt, that is a part of caring for ourselves to the point where we ca help and care for others who will need us and appreciate us. Think about it.

Be a people of integrity, let your yes be a yes and a no be a no, but don’t get so caught up in those who would deceive us and hurt us that we can’t be no earthly good to those who need us. When deceit is taking place, (especially against the truth of Jesus) don’t entertain it, run from it. That is what God has called us to, to flee even the appearance of evil, when that evil clearly goes against or attacks the concepts of God, it is time to flee. The value of that is not only valuable for Christians who are being deceived with untruth, even attacking the very cause of Christ, it is wise for the nonbeliever as well. There is a difference between misguided effort and efforts that lies, cheats, and steals from the truth, in the Bible the author of that is Satan, not God.

For going on some thirty years now I have done the work of The Virtual Pew, in part planting seeds but another huge part is getting to know people and being called by many Pastor Mike by my involvement in social media. From engaging in life, I have seen the impact of my work on people on the fringes all over the world. I have run homeless programs, housed homeless people worked with drug addicts, prostitutes and much more. All while giving back my salary, and for the last 8+ years not taking a salary. You can help tremendously by supporting the work, not just from the movie reviews but the work that goes along side that in the development of relationships of helping save lives and give purpose to the lives of others. I appreciate your consideration in this calling that I have seen and know God uses.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Friday, July 23, 2021

You're The One That I Want

In life at times, I am reminded that I need someone to either get me back on track or to get on track. I will admit, I lose my focus at times, I get distracted, in Christianize, (a seemingly foreign language spoken by Christians) I need “Spiritual Redirection.” There have been few in life that have done that for me. I think one reason is it is difficult to trust others due to my experiences, but there have been those few. The two that have done that the most was of course Mary Jane my late wife. God put her in my life at the perfect time I needed her, but I lost her. Three years ago today I was given the notice by the doctor that the future was not good as her pancreatic cancer was terminal without a miracle. Mary Jane, a woman and partner to me was used by God to keep me focused, and in the place where God would have me.

There is another though, another that has come into my life that without her I honestly don’t know what I would do. You see I was ready to give up, not per say to the point of suicide, but certainly to the point of not caring about taking care of myself to the point of just letting myself go and die sooner of natural causes. Sheila Mitchell, my fiancé, is another woman that God has used to inspire me, to make me want to live, to serve Jesus more, but in the process of serving Jesus more, to serve and love others more. There is more than that though, there are the ways she does it.

On social media, Facebook in particular, Sheila and I are quite opposites. I think that is something she will get used to as Facebook has been an outlet for ministry for me and her but in different ways. I truly desire to where possible be a light in dark places, to show love in difficult times, to be real in a world where people just don’t seem to be real anymore. It reminds me of the Rez Band song, Whose Real Anymore? As to me, I can use a lot of words, after all, I am a writer.

Sheila mainly posts memes to be a light to the world whereas I post stuff like this and other things to get people to think. My objective is to post points to ponder or if you will seeds that can cause thought and growth. Now don’t get me wrong, there is an intent in what I do although I don’t always respond to comments, as I believe in and of itself can be educational. But Sheila, she in a way, does the same thing, but in a much different way. In her way, just as today, by the posting of memes that she has shared has caused me to ponder and contemplate the reality of God, the purpose of relationship I and others are to have with God. I know, if Sheila can help keep me in tune with the Holy Spirit, it must have the same effect and impact on others. Yes, Sheila is indeed, a woman of God, but, also, being used by God not just in my life, but in a loving, kind, caring way, the life of others. It is the purpose God has called us all to.

I find it amazing, that God would give me two incredible women to keep me on focus in my relationship with Christ. Frankly, I am such a screw up that I don’t deserve the goodness and people God has sent my way, but I sure am grateful He has.

Do you have those in your life that keeps you spiritually in tune with the world around you, with God, or with a higher spiritual purpose in life? I’m not talking about things, beliefs, or “righteous behavior,” I’m speaking specifically about things that help you identify with the world around you, your God, (of course I believe there is only one true God) to cause you to ponder the reality around you and to help you be a better person. Someone you can look up to and admire? Do you have that person be it a spouse, friend, lover whoever?

Let me say, from personal experience, I know how hard it is to trust, I also know how hard it is to go through the decisions and process of life alone. I don’t believe God is a respecter of persons. I don’t think He would give me two wonderful helpers, (that by the way I asked for) for any reason other than I asked and God wants the best for me. I know that people say sometimes they have the best, most perfect lover, helper ever in life. I believe that God can send us the desires of our heart and the person that is best for us. In a season of life, Mary Jane was the best for me, but in this season of life, in my mind, there is no doubt that Sheila is the best for me because of what she is doing for me. She is reminding me of my first love, not her, not Mary Jane, but Jesus. While I go through struggles, tough times, not knowing how I am going to make it financially or even from a health perspective sometimes, for this season of my life, I know that God is using Sheila as one to keep me focus on the most important thing in my life. For that I love her more, but I also realize, her love, causes me to love God more.

My prayer for you, may you find that love that completes you. I ask continued prayers for Sheila and me as we transition from our singleness to the point of becoming one in marriage. God is moving us in that way, and we are on the path, may we get to the start of our journey as one sooner than later and walk that path until completion of this life together. May God also provide you that spiritual helper, be it friend, a rekindled relationship with your lover, or whomever. In all things, remember, God does want the best for you and has a plan for you.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

Just as a side bar, in last 3 days, I among numerous other areas I have assisted another church in ministry to those on the fringes as to best methods and how to do it. A person seeking help for a person threatening suicide, and council to another individual regarding theological issues regarding the church they are going to. I’ve also had the ministry I do reaffirmed by others, but reaffirmations while great and very much appreciated, doesn’t pay the bills. Again, the ministry work continues thanks to the help of others and the sacrifices I have made and my late wife before me.

To Donate via Pay Pal, donate at paypal at mike@furches.org

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

You can also always donate to The Virtual Pew at 1249 North Saint Francis, Wichita Kansas 67214

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Financial Needs and Stressors

Greeting to all of those who have benefited and supported The Virtual Pew in the past. Let me state for those that don’t know, The Virtual Pew is a Religious Organization that is dependent on gifts and donations to maintain the ministry we do. Thus, the periodic request for help. We still need those who would support us on a regular monthly basis. While I largely pay for the ministry operations and expenses out of pocket, I need approximately $600 a month to maintain stability and be able to meet needs. There are times some may be critical of letting it be known as to the needs of help but most all missions operate having to raise their support.

A couple of months ago we were at the direst point ever as there was not enough money to get through the month. I took the rest of my money out of my retirement account, plus had donations come in that gave us enough to get by for several months. Right now, there is enough to get by for likely 2 more months. So, while it isn’t an emergency to raise funds now, it will be in 2 months. As a matter of good and appropriate stewardship I am trying to prevent getting to that point of drastic and stressful need.

I will ask again, can you help meet our monthly needs? There is no doubt as to the benefit of ministry we have provided as I see it day to day, but with a wedding coming up and the desire to serve others, it is stressful, and I know, not good for my already broken and mended heart. I have actually been seeing the doctor for my blood pressure as it was at a dangerous high level yesterday of 194/120. I’ve got to find ways to reduce the stress, the main stressor is right now, finances.

If willing to help, it is greatly appreciated. I ask you, do not write checks or make contributions to me. All contributions should be made either to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic. The Virtual Pew is a Religious Organization and Mosaic is a 501-C3 nonprofit.

If willing to help this ministry continue you can donate online at the following.

Pay Pal to The Virtual Pew at mike@furches.org

Pay Pal to Mosaic at mikefurches@yahoo.com

If making contributions via pay pal, please designate as a gift to family or friends as to prevent us from having to pay additional fees to pay pal.

You can donate at cash app at $MichaelFurches

Donations can be made at FaceBook via messenger to my facebook account Mike Furches

Or you can send a check to The Virtual Pew or Mosaic at the following address.
1249 North Saint Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214

To Donate via Pay Pal, donate at paypal at mike@furches.org

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

You can also always donate to The Virtual Pew at 1249 North Saint Francis, Wichita Kansas 67214

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Last Impressions

I have been trying to catch up on one of my favorite television shows, America’s Got Talent, (AGT). I saw an episode this morning that got me to thinking. A performer was singing, and he shared about his last words with his wife, and her last words to him. She was killed in the same helicopter crash that killed Koby Bryant. The words shared between the two before she was killed, was, “I love you.”

I have lived a life, as has many that hungers and thirsts to be loved. Unfortunately, it seems that for many in this world, it seems to be okay to exhibit hate, to display superiority, to let others know, we are better than you. The last thing it seems we do is to tell or show others, they are loved.

I have had reminders of this way too much lately. From Bible studies, to just scrolling through on Facebook, there are reminders all around. Is it any wonder that the suicide rate is drastically up in the United States? We live in a world that seems to have forgotten the importance of telling and showing others love. God help us.

What will be the last words others will remember you for, or you will remember others? Truth is, none of us are guaranteed of tomorrow, another truth is, that this world is so depressing, that for many, there is no desire to go on and so they end it. While we like to blame them, say things like, “I told them I loved them,” or things like, “I never knew,” or any other myriad of things, do we practice the two things we need to display via words and actions that we love?

Today, I’m heartbroken because of the reminder of the lack of love in our world. Frankly, it may be a reason I get depressed in a time of life I should constantly be in joy. I don’t know, the negativity has an impact, yet I try to survive, focus on the positive, but it isn’t easy. If it’s that way for me, I know it’s that way for others. Unfortunately, I don’t know if society cares anymore. I wish that weren’t so, but it is what it is. The studies, the statistics, and the reality is proof that this is a problem with epidemic proportions. What can we do to change this problem? We can start with us, and for me, that means, telling you, I love you.

To Donate via Pay Pal, donate at paypal at mike@furches.org

To Donate via Cash App, donate at $MichaelFurches

You can also always donate to The Virtual Pew at 1249 North Saint Francis, Wichita Kansas 67214

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click to subscribe to my blog

The Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Before The I Do's In Engagement and Marriage

Ephesians 5:25 ~ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Over the years I’ve done several weddings as a pastor. Of course, I’ve only been a part of one wedding. The wedding to my late wife of over 40 years. But here I am, at a new place, a place where I am once again engaged to a beautiful Godly woman to be married. As a result, I find myself back at the place seeking reminders not for others but for myself. In that reminder I am reminded of the admonition to love my wife in the same way Jesus loved the church, called his bride, and of my need to be willing to give myself up for my bride in the same way that Christ loved and gave himself up for his bride. Of course, I could speak about the role of women as well, I’ve counseled women as to their obligations but I am seeking wisdom for my obligations as a husband, my own reminder. If I was to say anything about the relationship between a woman and a man engaged in marriage, I would use the following verse to apply for both of them.

1 Peter 4:8 - Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Of course, the question from the passage out of 1 Peter for me is how does on keep on loving the other? I have seen so many times the love that exists early on, often called puppy love, but over time that love becomes less active, and in some ways, even stagnate. Truth is, for me, in my first marriage that was never a problem except a brief 6-month period or so. I was working way too many hours, and, in those days, I spent less time with my late wife and she therefore as a matter of consequence, less time with me. My eyes and heart begin to stray, and mistakes were made. As a result, my wife and I almost divorced. It was so serious that we even spoke to our two children about the inevitable reality that we were looking at and strongly considering divorce. Thankfully God opened my eyes and I made the commitment to spend less time working. It involved less time at the office and less time at work. I’ll never forget my children correcting me and telling me that I was still working on the computer at home. As a result, I set a schedule that I would not take work home with me and when I worked out of the home, that I would not work later than 5:30 PM, of course there were times I broke that rule but it was very rare that I did. My family noticed and our love and family as a result grew.

On this point there was also two other things I did and maintained over the course of my early marriage and will so in my upcoming marriage. I always opened the door for my wife, and I maintained a weekly dating relationship and vacations together. It is imperative that couples find time away with no distractions for time together, on a weekly basis at least 2 days a week, and on an annual basis I think a minimum of 2 weeks a year. In my new relationship with my new bride this is going to be critical. Not having children that we are raising, that time together is imperative, but then again, it is imperative for any couple if they want their love and marriage to succeed.

Proverbs 31:10 - An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

An honest man will recognize the importance of his wife, and he, and she will learn, that she is indeed more important than anything. More important than money, investments, time, everything. It is an amazing thing about the love that God can bless between a man and a woman. Of course, there is an expectation that the wife is a good wife, Proverbs even calls her an “excellent wife.” That takes work, but work from both parties. In that work, the most valuable thing possible between two people happens, a love where the two, really do, become one.

Of course there are aspects that many, even those in the church have taken out of context and not looked at in totality. The following passage from Ephesians is likely the single passage taken the most out of context, especially the initial instructions to the wife.

Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

After reading in context, I always point out that the greater responsibility in the relationship falls on the man as opposed to the woman. The main thing I think to take into consideration is the reality that each party, the husband, and the wife, have obligations and responsibilities to each other. It isn’t about being a solo party in a wedding or relationship, it is about being in it together. The moment one gets more into themselves and their needs than they do the needs of the couple that has become one, the marriage is set up for failure. Marriage is an ordained thing from God. To go outside the design and desire of God is one way to make sure we don’t experience the true totality of the beauty that can come about from God joining two people together. On that point is a good reminder though, God is the one that joins the two together, and God alone. Of course, sometimes mistakes can be made and marriage misunderstood. In those mistakes, don’t expect to receive the beauty and benefits that God assures if marriage and relationship is done right. I think few things exemplify or illustrates that last point more than the last verse in this posting.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

If thinking in the context of marriage and relationship, we can see this verse is often taken out of context. We need to realize, the beauty of two working together in their relationship, in their marriage, is a strength and bond that provides multiple benefits.

In closing, I am working on my new relationship. I have honestly never wanted anything so much. I so love the woman I am engaged to be married. I want it to work so much. I had a great marriage with my late wife, but I want this marriage to be stronger, to be better. Why? Because I think God expects growth. I hopefully have learned enough to make our marriage better on my part and have learned from the mistakes so I can be a better husband.

There is one last thing I know, I know for a fact, that if others take these passages seriously, seek and pray about the Holy Spirit leading them that they are far more likely to succeed in their marriage and relationships. I know that for me, I want the love I experienced to be magnified, heck, in many ways, I need it more than ever, so for me, I’m praying, applying, and asking the Holy Spirit to walk alongside me and my bride to be each step of the journey.

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Why Can't We Be Friends

All through the Bible we see the concept of friendship presented. Even in today’s world, the concept of friend has been popularized by such things as having “friends” at Facebook. Unfortunately, that word friend because of things like Facebook has in my opinion been bastardized. That is, it has strayed so far from it’s original meaning that it essentially has lost its meaning.

Using the Biblical definition, what is a friend? From the Bible Dictionary we have the following: “In both Testaments the ideas of friend and friendship involve three components: association, loyalty, and affection. There are also three levels of meaning: friendship as association only; friendship as association plus loyalty; and friendship as association plus loyalty plus affection.”

With the above definition I can’t help but wonder, have we and people lost the meaning of things like loyalty and affection? It seems to me as if the word friend is just a word for someone we know, better fitting with the concept of an associate or acquaintance, but certainly, not someone we are loyal and/or are faithful to.

Some know I share my emotions on my sleeves, or tattooed arms if you will. I am not afraid to share my feelings and emotions with others. It is one of the things that makes me unique I guess, it is a way of me dealing with life as well as an understanding that sometimes it is a way to help others deal with the same thoughts, they may have that I either am, or have experienced. So here goes.

At this point in my life, I have had very few real friends. A lot of acquaintances but few friends. Obviously, my late wife was more than a lover, she was a friend. Then, with a real blessing of God. I now have someone I can talk to about anything like no one I have ever been able to talk to. I don’t mean this as a slam in any way on anyone, but at this point, I can talk to my fiancé Sheila about things like I have never been able to talk to another about except for the Lord. That, my “friends,” is a real and true friendship. I have a question though, what if we could experience that level of friendship and love for each other, as I do believe that love does exist in a brotherly and sisterly way with real friends? How much easier would it be to deal with life’s issues, it’s difficulties?

I have PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a horrible condition. If you don’t know what it is I encourage you to look it up. It can be debilitating and is often influenced by triggers or events that bring back memories. I recently went through a bout of depression because of some triggers that are and have been going on. I needed friends, friendship, the feeling of love that only friends can bring about. I prayed, I asked others to pray for me, and thankfully they did and even more thankfully, God heard those prayers.

In short, God answered those prayers by allowing me to spend time with an old friend from Tennessee who was taking his new bride to be back to Tennessee from Washington State. That day, reflecting on old times, just hearing the voice and dialect of “home”, (I am originally from Upper East Tennessee but haven’t lived there in over 40 years) was so healing. To talk about old memories, good times, hard times, it was healing. But there was a kicker that God also provided. Besides my best friend Jesus, God provided me time with my best earthly friend, the person I have come to love with my all, by far the person I can talk to like no other on this earth, God provided me time with my Sheila.

Sheila works a tough schedule, often with mixed hours and long hours that prevents us from spending the time together that I am so hungry and thirsty for. So, I’ve learned to cherish those times together, even if just for moments. While we talk online when we can, it just isn’t like being there, to caress her arm, or to experience a passionate kiss, and then, to also just talk. To talk about things that are important, to talk about things we can’t talk to any other about. To know that the person is listening, and that they care. That is what real friends do. With Sheila and I/we experience all facets of love, a Godly Love, a Brotherly Sister Love, and beyond that an Erotic Passionate love meant for a married couple. That is the ultimate friend but unfortunately, we can’t all meet, nor should we, all those facets of friendship. I do believe that the last one mentioned, Erotic or Eros Love is intended for two people God has brought together to partner in life and to essentially as the Bible states, to go to the place where the two become one. The question is, how do we get to the place where we can be real friends with others in the appropriate ways we can? We all know, we need real friendship, but it is unfortunately lacking.

I don’t have all the answers but the thing I do know is we have to be careful. One reason it is so hard to develop real friendships is because of issues related to trust. We all fail here, let that be clear, but it is something we must work at. It isn’t an issue of if we can be trustworthy, it becomes an issue of will we be trustworthy and then, be willing to perfect that character trait. Then and only then, do I think we can trust enough to be willing to be open and share in the important things of life, be it emotions or experiences with others. It’s not easy, I know. I am often asked to trust people. My general response is that I’ve learned to only trust myself and God and half of the time I don’t trust myself. Believe me, I know, it isn’t easy, but I know, it’s necessary. For me, let me make something clear, I can for example speak to Sheila like no other, my truest friend because she opened up to me about herself. She took the first step which enabled me to trust her more. It is because she was willing to take that step, that my life is so much better because now, well, now I have someone I can talk to about anything. Of course, the Lord is and has always been there, but there is definitely something about us as human beings carrying out that concept of love, trust, that the Lord expects us to have in Him.

Here is my challenge today, work at being a friend, not an acquaintance, not just a social media friend, but a real friend. Here is the crazy thing about it, when we work on this, not only does it improve our life, but it also improves the life of the one we have chosen to be friends with. So, in that regard, I challenge, work to make life better not just for you, but those friends, even if they be few that surround you and share in life with you.

For some reason, it seems like this song is appropriate, after all, I wonder, Why Can't We Be Friends.

WAR - Why Can't We Be Friends? W/ Lyrics - YouTube

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Just For You

You are important and I want you to know that you can feel free to contact me at any time. I always try to respond to comments posted here, when appropriate, and have learned from my work as a counselor and pastor that people need to know that they are important. My contact information is available and I encourage you to contact me when need be. The fact that you are a real person is not lost on me. While you are at it, if needing a place to plug in, you can also join and become a part of The Virtual Pew. Message boards and interaction are available there as well. Thanks for visiting and know that God loves you and so do I.