You're The One That I Want

In life at times, I am reminded that I need someone to either get me back on track or to get on track. I will admit, I lose my focus at times, I get distracted, in Christianize, (a seemingly foreign language spoken by Christians) I need “Spiritual Redirection.”  There have been few in life that have done that for me. I think one reason is it is difficult to trust others due to my experiences, but there have been those few. The two that have done that the most was of course Mary Jane my late wife. God put her in my life at the perfect time I needed her, but I lost her. Three years ago today I was given the notice by the doctor that the future was not good as her pancreatic cancer was terminal without a miracle. Mary Jane, a woman and partner to me was used by God to keep me focused, and in the place where God would have me.

 

There is another though, another that has come into my life that without her I honestly don’t know what I would do. You see I was ready to give up, not per say to the point of suicide, but certainly to the point of not caring about taking care of myself to the point of just letting myself go and die sooner of natural causes. Sheila Mitchell, my fiancé, is another woman that God has used to inspire me, to make me want to live, to serve Jesus more, but in the process of serving Jesus more, to serve and love others more. There is more than that though, there are the ways she does it.

 

On social media, Facebook in particular, Sheila and I are quite opposites. I think that is something she will get used to as Facebook has been an outlet for ministry for me and her but in different ways. I truly desire to where possible be a light in dark places, to show love in difficult times, to be real in a world where people just don’t seem to be real anymore. It reminds me of the Rez Band song, Whose Real Anymore?  As to me, I can use a lot of words, after all, I am a writer.

 

Sheila mainly posts memes to be a light to the world whereas I post stuff like this and other things to get people to think. My objective is to post points to ponder or if you will seeds that can cause thought and growth.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is an intent in what I do although I don’t always respond to comments, as I believe in and of itself can be educational. But Sheila, she in a way, does the same thing, but in a much different way.  In her way, just as today, by the posting of memes that she has shared has caused me to ponder and contemplate the reality of God, the purpose of relationship I and others are to have with God. I know, if Sheila can help keep me in tune with the Holy Spirit, it must have the same effect and impact on others. Yes, Sheila is indeed, a woman of God, but, also, being used by God not just in my life, but in a loving, kind, caring way, the life of others. It is the purpose God has called us all to.

 

I find it amazing, that God would give me two incredible women to keep me on focus in my relationship with Christ. Frankly, I am such a screw up that I don’t deserve the goodness and people God has sent my way, but I sure am grateful He has.

 

Do you have those in your life that keeps you spiritually in tune with the world around you, with God, or with a higher spiritual purpose in life?  I’m not talking about things, beliefs, or “righteous behavior,” I’m speaking specifically about things that help you identify with the world around you, your God, (of course I believe there is only one true God) to cause you to ponder the reality around you and to help you be a better person. Someone you can look up to and admire?  Do you have that person be it a spouse, friend, lover whoever? 

 

Let me say, from personal experience, I know how hard it is to trust, I also know how hard it is to go through the decisions and process of life alone. I don’t believe God is a respecter of persons. I don’t think He would give me two wonderful helpers, (that by the way I asked for) for any reason other than I asked and God wants the best for me. I know that people say sometimes they have the best, most perfect lover, helper ever in life. I believe that God can send us the desires of our heart and the person that is best for us. In a season of life, Mary Jane was the best for me, but in this season of life, in my mind, there is no doubt that Sheila is the best for me because of what she is doing for me. She is reminding me of my first love, not her, not Mary Jane, but Jesus. While I go through struggles, tough times, not knowing how I am going to make it financially or even from a health perspective sometimes, for this season of my life, I know that God is using Sheila as one to keep me focus on the most important thing in my life. For that I love her more, but I also realize, her love, causes me to love God more. 

 

My prayer for you, may you find that love that completes you.  I ask continued prayers for Sheila and me as we transition from our singleness to the point of becoming one in marriage. God is moving us in that way, and we are on the path, may we get to the start of our journey as one sooner than later and walk that path until completion of this life together. May God also provide you that spiritual helper, be it friend, a rekindled relationship with your lover, or whomever. In all things, remember, God does want the best for you and has a plan for you. 

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I am more than willing to share at your church, business and so forth. I have shared across America as to the work God has done and done for me. I love those opportunities.

Blessings and thank you,

Mike Furches

Just as a side bar, in last 3 days, I among numerous other areas I have assisted another church in ministry to those on the fringes as to best methods and how to do it. A person seeking help for a person threatening suicide, and council to another individual regarding theological issues regarding the church they are going to. I’ve also had the ministry I do reaffirmed by others, but reaffirmations while great and very much appreciated, doesn’t pay the bills. Again, the ministry work continues thanks to the help of others and the sacrifices I have made and my late wife before me. 

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Happy Anniversary, 33 Years of Life’s Lessons

Happy Anniversary, 33 Years of Life’s Lessons

Today I celebrate with my wife, 33 years of marriage. I realize that in today’s world that is quite an accomplishment, especially when considering that we have actually been together for around 35 years if you count the time together that we weren’t married. In a world where more than half of all marriages, including the marriages of people of faith end in divorce, I am often asked how we have made our marriage work. There are also assumptions that everything about our marriage has been wonderful and that we have always gotten along.

The truth is, there have been rough spots in our marriage, including parts where I was far from a perfect husband, as if I was ever close. We even separated for a period of time some 10-12 years ago, even contemplated divorce up to the point where we spoke to our children of the likely divorce. No, things have been far from perfect in our relationship.

In the difficulty in our marriage I take full blame for my actions but some will ask what is it that kept us together. The answer is quite simple and almost a cliché, the answer is God.

I will never forget an Easter Sunday when we were separated when I went to visit Mary Jane and the kids at our house in Owasso. I was spending more time away from them and decided a visit on Easter Sunday. I loved my kids despite the difficulty of the relationship with my wife. As was the norm I left my family mid morning to go back to where I was staying. Along the way I was listening to the radio and heard the testimony of I believe Yolanda Adams. On the journey back I heard Yolanda Adams say of how much she had ruined her life and of how she was reminded of her grandmothers’ prayers. While listening to this I was reminded of my own grandmothers’ prayers. I recalled waking up to see my grandmother sitting at the kitchen table, reading her bible, praying, often times praying for me. I couldn’t help but reflect of how I was throwing away my grandmothers prayers in breaking my relationship with my wife. I arrived at the place I was staying, sat down and within an hour from arrival I had written a song called Grandmas’ Prayers. That evening I decided to make my marriage work with my wife.

Many will ask what does this have to do with an Anniversary Celebration. The answer is quite simple; we were willing to work at making our marriage work. We realized that God brought us together and it was worth working at something God had blessed, a relationship of marriage between the two of us. Long story made short, we worked at it and our relationship is stronger now than ever. Is it perfect? No, but last night as we sat on our love seat together, fighting illness and physical pain that comes sometimes with getting older, I told Mary Jane, “we will be married until either one of us dies or we both die together.” She affirmed that to be the case, we realize our relationship with each other is for life. Now how all of that plays into the eternal, I honestly can’t say, I can say that I hope the two of us becoming one in marriage is something that lasts for all of eternity. We love each other and on that there is no doubt. In that love though, we have learned lessons others can I think, if willing learn from.

One of the things I have become convinced of is that many don’t take seriously the relationships they are involved in. There is a difference between a dating relationship and a life committal relationship, I for one value the commitment we made to each other. We took our vows seriously and thankfully we have seriously worked at keeping them. I will also say, that for me, there has been nothing better than a monogamous relationship of which I can experience the joy of sharing life together with a mate, along side our walk with God. What I will say here will shock many, but the greatest shared joy in life we have is our faith. Our faith in God is without a doubt the secret to our long term relationship, joy, and hope for tomorrow. I can not imagine two people sharing life together where their shared belief in their faith did not exist.

We encourage couples to stay strong through the difficulties. When a shared faith and shared love of that faith exists, then it is possible to fight through and win the battles against the other things that would pull you apart.

Of course in all of this there is the assumption that I am saying people should either get married, or stay married, that isn’t the truth either. There are relationships where God doesn’t exist, there are ongoing abuses and more that may exist. I can’t imagine those types of relationships without God. I can say that with God individuals can overcome any types of relationship but God has to be at the forefront of all of those battles. Otherwise, I don’t know of how likely it is those marriages will succeed. I am also reminded though of the beautiful concepts of singleness which should also be celebrated. I am reminded here of the words from the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16.

1) Now I will answer the questions that you asked in your letter. You asked, “Is it best for people not to marry?” 2) Well, having your own husband or wife should keep you from doing something immoral. 3) Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. 4) A wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his wife instead of to himself. 5) So don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6) In my opinion that is what should be done, though I don’t know of anything the Lord said about this matter. 7) I wish that all of you were like me, but God has given different gifts to each of us.

8) Here is my advice for people who have never been married and for widows. You should stay single, just as I am. 9) But if you don’t have enough self-control, then go ahead and get married. After all, it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

10) I instruct married couples to stay together, and this is exactly what the Lord himself taught. A wife who leaves her husband 11) should either stay single or go back to her husband. And a husband should not leave his wife.

12) I don’t know of anything else the Lord said about marriage. All I can do is to give you my own advice. If your wife isn’t a follower of the Lord, but is willing to stay with you, don’t divorce her. 13) If your husband isn’t a follower, but is willing to stay with you, don’t divorce him. 14 Your husband or wife who isn’t a follower is made holy by having you as a mate. This also makes your children holy and keeps them from being unclean in God’s sight.

15) If your husband or wife isn’t a follower of the Lord and decides to divorce you, then you should agree to it. You are no longer bound to that person. After all, God chose you and wants you to live at peace. 16) And besides, how do you know if you will be able to save your husband or wife who isn’t a follower?

The bottom line is this, to have been married to the same person now for 33 years is a rather remarkable event. Many doubted our marriage from the get go, there was the age difference, the difference in taste, even her dad calling me a bum when Mary Jane told him we were going to get married. We overcame though, I think to the point where now, many in our family recognize the love we have for each other, to the point that Mary Jane’s dad Ed was among the first to encourage us to follow God’s call in our life. There are our two wonderful children, Marathana and Nathan and other additions including a wonderful son in law named Brett and a daughter in law named Emily. There is also those two incredible grandchildren, Aaliyah our granddaughter and Atticus our grandson.

Is it worth it to fight for this love concept called marriage? You bet it is, I know, as one who almost failed, I have learned the joy of success. I have experienced if for 33 years as of today, and I hope and pray that we will experience it together for all of eternity. That is love, and marriage is a bonding experience of love I celebrate today. Hopefully in my celebration, I have encouraged you to either celebrate your own relationships and to battle if necessary to make your relationships work, or to let you know, that it is perfectly okay to also celebrate your singleness if you are single. God is good all the time, I know because he has blessed me and among the greatest blessings I could experience is to be in a life long union with the most wonderful woman God could have ever blessed me with. For a dumb ol street kid who had nothing in life to look forward to, God has used my wife to bless my life and the ministry we are engaged in but I also have an eternity to look forward to. For that I am grateful to my God, but I am also so grateful for my wonderful soul mate, my wife Mary Jane.

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