The Christmas Jerk!

 It was a cold morning in Wichita Kansas, but that was typical for Friday November 29th.  The stores were jam packed with shoppers taking advantage of  the Black Friday Sales, the sporting goods stores were no exception. Charley wasn't in the best of moods, this was something his wife used to do, he didn't like crowds, didn't like having to stand in lines and as of late, didn't care much for holidays either. He wasn't unusual in those regards because the holidays, starting with Thanksgiving were hard on a lot of families. It was a season of depression for some and the lack of patience had come about and learned in a fast food society where most everyone was used to getting what they wanted when they wanted.

While the lines and crowds at Parsons Sporting Goods were not nearly as bad as the big box stores like Wal-Mart or Best Buy is was still substantially worse than any other time of the year. Lines were at least 5 customers deep on each of the stores 6 registers and although the store had brought in extra help for the holidays there were short tempers from some customers not getting the help finding things when they needed. Most of the customer service reps were at the end of the line on their nerves from trying to be patient with the customers. After looking through the store longer than he expected for a specific soccer related item Charley finally decided to hunt down a salesperson on the floor.

While the section for soccer wasn't the largest display in the store, it was still busy as soccer was a popular sport in Wichita.  Charlie, in his early sixties, was a little older than most in that department but he was persistent, coming off at times as a jerk. By the time he finally got a clerks attention, one who had been talking to another customer, he didn't come of as just a jerk, he was brash and direct. "Excuse me Miss, I've been in this store for 45 minutes now when can I get some help?"   

Sandra was a young woman who had been raised in a close nit family, she had learned manners but wasn't quite so used to such a direct approach from a customer, especially when she was helping another customer, a young mother looking for some Christmas deals.  "Excuse me sir, I am just about through, if you can wait another couple of minutes I'll be glad to help you." Sandra was shocked at Charlie's response yet kind in her tone.

"I've been waiting for 45 damned minutes lady, how much more to I have to wait."

"I'm sorry sir that you've waited that long I'll be right with you as soon as I am done with this customer,"

Charlie's response was short and to the point, "Dammit!"

Sandra was as she said, helping Charlie within a few moments after helping the young mother. "I'm sorry for your wait sir, but how can I help you?" Sandra for her young 21 years was as polite as anyone could be.

"Well I'm glad someone is sorry, I have things to do."

"Like I said sir, I am sorry but how can I help you?"

"I am looking for anything from the old Wichita Wings, what do you have!" It wasn't as if Charlie
was asking, he was telling Sandra to show him some products, even though the Wings had not been in Wichita since folding in 1992, it was as if Charlie expected to find something from the old franchise.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have any thing from the old Wings." Sandra responded with kindness. "I don't even think we have anything from the refurbished Wings that was in town the last 2 years before going under."

"Shit!" Charlie responded, "that team left a lifetime mark on this city, what is the hell is it with not providing or having a part of history available!"

"I'm sorry sir, we just don't carry anything like that."

Charlie was starting to turn red from anger now, the pitch of his voice was changing, he was tired of waiting, tired of the crowds, tired of not getting the help he wanted, tired of everything, while gritting his teeth, he stated, "Can you get me your manager please?"

"I can get him sir, but it could take a little while, he is really busy right now with keeping the stock room going with bringing out the needed stock."

"That's what I would expect, a day you should have known that you needed to stay on top of things but instead taking advantage of customers and making sure that all your sales take place. It's all about making a dollar." What Sandra didn't know was Charlie had already been to three sporting goods stores on this crazy hectic morning.  Parsons Sporting Goods was the last hope. 

"I'll be glad to the stock room sir and ask our manager for you, but I can't guarantee anything as to having what you want." Sandra was still a professional, still trying to provide good service. Of course from the exchange up to this point she expected to have her head bitten off, she wasn't far off in her expectation.

"Fine, go check with your damn manager, I've waited this long, if you going speeds up the process I might get home in time for church on Sunday!"

Sandra still polite responded, "Yes sir, I'll be as quick as possible." Ignoring a couple of other customers, she left immediately for the stock room.  It wasn't long before she returned to find Charlie still standing there, his arms crossed and he was staring off  into space with an obvious lack of patience.

"Sir, I spoke to our manager and he stated that we haven't carried any Wings stock for some time but he had a suggestion if you are willing to entertain it."

Charlie still miffed, but somewhat responsive, responded in a blunt way, "Okay what is it, what can you do, what's your suggestion."

"Well sir," Sandra still trying to be polite and calm, stated, "Well sir our manager suggested that while we haven't had any Wings items for some time, we have a new team in town, The B-52's, they have pretty much the same color scheme and we have a pretty good selection of their merchandise. They are a professional team and our manager also suggested a friend of his who has a lot of old Wings merchandise that may be able to help you out, but you will have to call him, but my manager did give me his phone number and contact information."

What happened next surprised Sandra, she didn't know what to think but Charlie was tearing up.  "If you could show me the items please from the new team and get me the name of the person who may have some old Wings merchandise I would appreciate it."

Sandra, still staying professional and calm, "let me walk you over and show you some of the merchandise, and here is the contact information of my managers friend who has the old Wings merchandise."

Charlie looked down at her hand as she handed him the information, he wasn't tearing up now, he was starting to cry, his eyes were red and he kept taking his gloved hand trying to dab the tears as they started to freely fell. "Thank you miss, you have no idea what this is going to mean to me."

Sandra, confused and touched, stated, "Sir that is no problem." Showing a real measure of concern she asked as well, "Are you okay, is there anything I can do?"

"No young lady, you have done quite enough, you don't understand likely and I know I have been an ass. You see my wife and I were huge supporters for the Wings back in the day.  My wife and son were killed in a car accident last year during the Holidays. All I have left is my grandson. Alex will be 10 in January. It was my son's 10th birthday when I purchased him a Wings soccer ball and took him to see his first pro soccer game at the Kansas Coliseum. We saw the Wings play the St. Louis Steamers. It was a heck of a game and my son became a fan for life. I miss him and my wife so much and wanted so much to give my grandson something for Christmas that would help with the loss of his father and grandmother."

Sandra was starting to tear up now, "Sir, I am so sorry, I would have never known, I am so sorry."

"Oh there is nothing to be sorry about young lady, you have gone out of your way, been kind and I so much appreciate it. I think it may be time to move on and I don't think the specific Wings material is necessary for my grandson, the B-52's will be enough to rekindle the spirit, that is what is important, not so much the team. It is the sharing of time together, the love, the memories. I think the B-52's is enough for my grandson, I may even have to take him to a game, but I appreciate the information about the managers friend, it will bring back memories for me while I start new ones with my Grandson, I think his dad and grandma would understand and like that."

"Sure no problem sir, I can do that, let's go look at some of that B-52's merchandise now."

Sandra learned something that day, she realized it as she saw a different man walk out of the store than she had encountered some 30 minutes earlier. She learned it wasn't so much about customer service, she had already been practicing those things, but she learned to always be nice to the customer, one never knew what they were feeling or had experienced. She knew at that moment, there were sometimes good reasons for people to have difficulty during the holidays, it was also a time of year that a lot of people went through extreme and clinical depression. Sandra realized the people mattered, she realized she could do her part by being a  more understanding person. It was after all the time of year that celebrated the birth of the one called The Prince of Peace, it was a time where people came together to give thanks for the blessings in their lives. With so many hurting people, Sandra decided, she would smile more and in her own way, by helping others, experience a different concept of the holidays she hadn't thought of before, loving others unconditionally in the same way God had loved her and others on this planet; unconditionally.

Mark 12:28-34 - 28 One of the teachers of the Law of Moses came up while Jesus and the Sadducees
were arguing. When he heard Jesus give a good answer, he asked him, “What is the most important commandment?”

29 Jesus answered, “The most important one says: ‘People of Israel, you have only one Lord and God. 30 You must love him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.’ 31 The second most important commandment says: ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ No other commandment is more important than these.”

32 The man replied, “Teacher, you are certainly right to say there is only one God. 33 It is also true that we must love God with all our heart, mind, and strength, and that we must love others as much as we love ourselves. These commandments are more important than all the sacrifices and offerings that we could possibly make.”

34 When Jesus saw that the man had given a sensible answer, he told him, “You are not far from God’s kingdom.” After this, no one dared ask Jesus any more questions.

The following video is also based on a real event that happened in Newton Kansas, just to the north of Wichita.  The themes are the same, think about it, to see the video just click on it, if the video doesn't appear, then click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fKI50MhzVM

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by

the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to

give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on

the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita

which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount

you can contribute to help with this ministry. 

Believe me there is much more going on than most realize.  I will also provide information to verify the

ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work.  Thanks and feel free to share any material

from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to

the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click to subscribe to my blog

There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the

archives. You can also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone

Kid at mike@furches.orgYou

can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.

Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs

or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and

by all means, spread the word.Here

is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis

Wichita Kansas, 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual

Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

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Hollywood Jesus

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To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Celebrating A Great Teacher & Incredible Wife

I married my wife, Mary Jane Erwin Furches on November 20, 1979. It would have been her mother and father’s 50^th wedding anniversary. The initial plan was to have a joint service, our marriage and their 50^th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, her mother died the summer prior to the time we had planned to get married. We faced other challenges though, mainly some of our families disapproval. They disapproved because my wife was older than me. That has been a challenge off and on during our years of marriage but I didn’t expect it to be the brunt of a joke that should have honored her 39 years of teaching as she is set to retire this Thursday from Derby Middle School, but it was and while some will think there is some aspect of an overreaction from me, I will state that after 39 years of working with troubled youth in inner city neighborhoods and schools and teaching special education during most of that time, out of a love to educate and better the life of children, that should have been the focus and the reason for celebration before the Derby School Board and 12 others from the State of Kansas largest school system who were also retiring and their families recognition dinner on 5/20/12. Simply put, my wife deserved more than she got without having to be embarrassed before this group of people. Sure it may have been intended as a harmless comment, I am sure it was, but even as we left the parking lot another retiree made comment to us of her being a “cradle robber.” Again, while I don’t think that she or the person during the presentation meant harm from their comments, they were still embarrassing and somewhat stung.

I never liked the term “cradle robber!” I never liked it for a lot of reasons, one because it implies I had nothing to do with our relationship. Despite several close friends and doctors telling us we were making a good decision because of the expectant life span of men and women, (we would normally be expected to die around the same time) we made the decision to marry for one reason and really one reason only, we loved each other. While we are polar opposites in many regards, those who have known us over the years have mentioned about how good of a couple we are.  We have been together some 35 years now, (we started dating 2 years prior to our marriage going on 34 years now) had our first child, our daughter Marathana, 2 years after we married, and while our marriage hasn’t been perfect, it has been worth fighting for and is now stronger than ever. We love each other and anyone who knows me, knows that if anything, especially if reading our story in my book The Keystone Kid, they know I fought for her prior to our marriage and if anything, due to my own circumstances while growing up, was older than my years in the area of maturity.  I’ll be honest, I take some joy in that many who said it wouldn’t last, can’t help but have to wonder now, why it has lasted so long, it is simple, a powerful 4-letter word called L-O-V-E!

As of late the concept of older women marrying younger men is not so much of a thing. We live in an age where I like the terminology better; we live in the age, if you will, of the Cougar. I like that concept better for various reasons, there has been much written on it and while not perfect, the term is certainly better than “cradle robber.” I look at it like this, Mary Jane was hot prior to us getting married and as far as I am concerned, she has maintained her age great and for me, is still hot. We have put on some weight, age and wrinkles over the years but I still get turned on when we hold hands and caress each other’s hands at the movies, other places. I still open the door for her, take her on dates, we still enjoy our lives together and at the rate of freaking our kids out; we still enjoy the most intimate of moments together. It’s simple, we still love each other. 

My wife is a remarkable woman. I don’t want to offend anyone, but for me or anyone else, a person living out her faith. When we met, even today, she lives out her faith more than any human being I have ever come into contact with. She loves God passionately and when I read the Scripture about being a loving wife I could never point to a better example than she. While we are far from perfect it is ridiculous, (in a good way,) how Mary Jane has lived out her faith and I really do know that I am the one who has come out the better due to our friendship and marriage.

Mary Jane has sacrificially supported our ministry over the years.  I know without a doubt, there is no way the ministry I have been involved in could have taken place without her support; from moving time and time again, (over 39 years of teaching she has taught in approximately 10 schools) to at times, being the primary bread winner of the family. She left her family which she deeply loved so I would go back to school to finish my degree, she has done so much, even selling her prized 72 Nova Super Sport so we could have the funds to move back to Kansas. I could go on and on with things some would consider small sacrifices but I know, deep down, were tremendous sacrifices. Why? Because she is in the ministry of doing what God has called us to do together. 

Mary Jane will continue in ministry, living in our Community House as a House Mother but also starting up her PartyLite business again and booking me to speak around the country while she also performs musically. This will all be secondary to spending time with our grandchildren and children in the twilight of our years. She has earned that right.

I guess I could go on, but will leave it at that other than to say, that on Sunday June 2 from 2 PM – 4 PM we are going to be hosting a celebration of her years of service and the next step in her journey of life and ministry at our house, 1249 N. St. Francis Street Wichita KS, 67214.  We will provide snacks and I am begging and pleading, that those who can attend to honor Mary Jane’s contribution to ministry and teaching for the last 39 years, teaching children and showing them the love of God while at the same time, bettering their lives. I am asking that people share this with others, time is short, get the word out.  Let people from all of the schools she has taught over the years know about it, friends, family, people who have supported The Virtual Pew, the ministries like Mosaic we have been a part of, the Fountain House Clubhouse world and more where she also had a tremendous role in my work there.  Then there are those at various churches, Ninth Street Baptist Church in Erwin Tennessee, Calvary Chapel in Hendersonville North Carolina, United at the Cross in Wichita Kansas, Good News Christian Fellowship, (Formerly Hillsboro Mennonite Brethren Church,) in Marion Kansas, Discovery One Fellowship, (Formerly Westport Mennonite Brethren Church in Tulsa Oklahoma and more.  If you can’t attend, please consider dropping her a note at my email address which I can print out for her at mikefurches@yahoo.com or mike@furches.org . If you can attend the reception it would be so appreciated. I would like the focus to be on her though, let it be from if at all possible, the students who have known her, her fellow teachers, her fellow administrators’ family, friends and so forth. Why am I doing this? Because after 39 years of contribution to teaching and touching so many, I believe she deserves it. Her contribution and sacrifice to the children in Kansas, Tennessee, South Carolina and Oklahoma has been remarkable. Many have gone on to live productive lives. She kept every Christmas ornament she ever got from any of her students and they still, to this day, decorate our tree because she values the fact that she had a positive impact as a teacher on the life of a young person. I think the same could be said of all good teachers, I just know personally, I have seen few, if any, better and more loving than Mary Jane. 

Again the address of the event is 1249 North St. Francis, Wichita KS 67214 and you can email her your thoughts and congratulatory comments regarding her teaching and ministry experience to me at mikefurches@yahoo.com or mike@furches.org

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

To see a video of Mary Jane singing click on the following video, if the video doesn't appear click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DE4HpGV-_U

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis Street

Wichita, KS 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Have We Experienced The Family of God?

As I get older and my health isn't what it used to be, (although I haven’t given up hope and still work on it) I have come to realize, we all have 2 families. If we are lucky one is good, if we are blessed both the spiritual and natural family are good.

The first family that comes to mind is our natural family, mother, father, brothers, sisters, etc…  Most of you know my family history, or likely do so from my book The Keystone Kid and/or other writings. While I had some difficult times in my life, I have come to appreciate more and more my blood family. I love my sisters my half sister Teresa whom I have spent little time with and my full-blooded sister, Andrea (Sissy) whom I grew up with. Growing up in the same household Sis and I experienced many of the same things. I admire her for her courage and sticktoitnuss, God used her in a mighty way to bring me into His family. I love my sister and wish we lived closer. There are others in my family I miss. While I am having some health issues as I write this, I spoke with my Uncle Larry last night. He was checking up on me and asked how I am doing, I responded, “as well as can be expected, but I am keeping my spirits up trying to find ways to make people laugh and enjoy life, I am after all a Furches.”  I was moved by his concern, because, he is family. I could write a great deal about how much I love my family, whether they realize it or not. I am healing and the more God provides healing, the more I am learning to love.

There is another kind of family, one where Jesus brings people together. The Bible speaks often and eloquently about the Family of God, brothers, sisters, babes, and so forth. We see an emphasis on the community of believers, from the Lord’s Prayer, where Jesus instructs us to say, OUR Father, deliver US, give US OUR, and so forth. Then there is a passage some find troubling, Matthew 12: 46-50:

(46)  While Jesus was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and brothers came and stood outside because they wanted to talk with him. (47) Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside and want to talk with you.”

(48) Jesus answered, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” (49) Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “These are my mother and my brothers! (50) Anyone who obeys my Father in heaven is my brother or sister or mother.”

While the above passage can be troubling, I don’t think Jesus is saying forget about, ignore, or having nothing to do with your blood family, he is saying your family is more than your blood relatives, it includes all of those who are a part of the Kingdom of God who have surrendered to His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Unfortunately in today’s world we live in a place that focuses on individualism.  Don’t take me wrong, to discover ones gifts, talents, to love one’s self, etc…, is important, but one of the ways we discover self is by loving others, to be a part of the group or community. We are to share in life, care for each other, see to it that no one has a need. We are to be there and love each other. Unfortunately, this concept has been lost, many of us don’t even know our next door neighbors, those we call brother and sister. If we don’t know each other, how can we be a family?

I have learned the importance of my spiritual brothers and sisters. Much of that comes from living away from my blood family for most of my life. I hate it but it is a part of the call of ministry. I go where God leads, not where I want. I have been blessed to have many brothers and sisters. While I enjoy keeping up with many of them via social media and meeting new ones, nothing replaces the hands on experience, a hug, a holy kiss, a love that family understands, a communion where we commune in life, not just a ceremony of breaking bread and drinking wine.

God has compelled me see to it that the ministry I am involved in experiences what the Greek calls, Koinonia, or Family and Community, where all things are shared.  I believe it is what God would have for his people. While there are times to be alone, there are also times to share in life, even to help each other out through our problems. Many make the excuse to not share in life with a body of believers, for years I was in that boat but the more I study scripture, the more I realize how unbiblical that belief is. I joy because I share in life; I have blood family I love and others via spiritual family via faith in Jesus Christ. 

Lastly, I have a son I deeply love. Nathan is adopted and I love him just as I love my daughter by birth. I have learned of the ability to love and the value of coming into a family via adoption, that is what the Kingdom of God is, people who have been adopted into the Family of God. I would challenge, enjoy this family to the fullest, if in a good church, experience community in shared life, stay for the pot-lucks, and develop relationships where you want to be with that family. When you aren't and you find yourself missing those special moments, maybe, just maybe, God wants more, and that more is community.

To see the video below, just click on it, if for some reason it doesn't work, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcW6tMPgmxI 

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew

1249 N. St. Francis Street

Wichita, KS 67214

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed

Happy Anniversary, 33 Years of Life’s Lessons

Happy Anniversary, 33 Years of Life’s Lessons

Today I celebrate with my wife, 33 years of marriage. I realize that in today’s world that is quite an accomplishment, especially when considering that we have actually been together for around 35 years if you count the time together that we weren’t married. In a world where more than half of all marriages, including the marriages of people of faith end in divorce, I am often asked how we have made our marriage work. There are also assumptions that everything about our marriage has been wonderful and that we have always gotten along.

The truth is, there have been rough spots in our marriage, including parts where I was far from a perfect husband, as if I was ever close. We even separated for a period of time some 10-12 years ago, even contemplated divorce up to the point where we spoke to our children of the likely divorce. No, things have been far from perfect in our relationship.

In the difficulty in our marriage I take full blame for my actions but some will ask what is it that kept us together. The answer is quite simple and almost a cliché, the answer is God.

I will never forget an Easter Sunday when we were separated when I went to visit Mary Jane and the kids at our house in Owasso. I was spending more time away from them and decided a visit on Easter Sunday. I loved my kids despite the difficulty of the relationship with my wife. As was the norm I left my family mid morning to go back to where I was staying. Along the way I was listening to the radio and heard the testimony of I believe Yolanda Adams. On the journey back I heard Yolanda Adams say of how much she had ruined her life and of how she was reminded of her grandmothers’ prayers. While listening to this I was reminded of my own grandmothers’ prayers. I recalled waking up to see my grandmother sitting at the kitchen table, reading her bible, praying, often times praying for me. I couldn’t help but reflect of how I was throwing away my grandmothers prayers in breaking my relationship with my wife. I arrived at the place I was staying, sat down and within an hour from arrival I had written a song called Grandmas’ Prayers. That evening I decided to make my marriage work with my wife.

Many will ask what does this have to do with an Anniversary Celebration. The answer is quite simple; we were willing to work at making our marriage work. We realized that God brought us together and it was worth working at something God had blessed, a relationship of marriage between the two of us. Long story made short, we worked at it and our relationship is stronger now than ever. Is it perfect? No, but last night as we sat on our love seat together, fighting illness and physical pain that comes sometimes with getting older, I told Mary Jane, “we will be married until either one of us dies or we both die together.” She affirmed that to be the case, we realize our relationship with each other is for life. Now how all of that plays into the eternal, I honestly can’t say, I can say that I hope the two of us becoming one in marriage is something that lasts for all of eternity. We love each other and on that there is no doubt. In that love though, we have learned lessons others can I think, if willing learn from.

One of the things I have become convinced of is that many don’t take seriously the relationships they are involved in. There is a difference between a dating relationship and a life committal relationship, I for one value the commitment we made to each other. We took our vows seriously and thankfully we have seriously worked at keeping them. I will also say, that for me, there has been nothing better than a monogamous relationship of which I can experience the joy of sharing life together with a mate, along side our walk with God. What I will say here will shock many, but the greatest shared joy in life we have is our faith. Our faith in God is without a doubt the secret to our long term relationship, joy, and hope for tomorrow. I can not imagine two people sharing life together where their shared belief in their faith did not exist.

We encourage couples to stay strong through the difficulties. When a shared faith and shared love of that faith exists, then it is possible to fight through and win the battles against the other things that would pull you apart.

Of course in all of this there is the assumption that I am saying people should either get married, or stay married, that isn’t the truth either. There are relationships where God doesn’t exist, there are ongoing abuses and more that may exist. I can’t imagine those types of relationships without God. I can say that with God individuals can overcome any types of relationship but God has to be at the forefront of all of those battles. Otherwise, I don’t know of how likely it is those marriages will succeed. I am also reminded though of the beautiful concepts of singleness which should also be celebrated. I am reminded here of the words from the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16.

1) Now I will answer the questions that you asked in your letter. You asked, “Is it best for people not to marry?” 2) Well, having your own husband or wife should keep you from doing something immoral. 3) Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. 4) A wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his wife instead of to himself. 5) So don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6) In my opinion that is what should be done, though I don’t know of anything the Lord said about this matter. 7) I wish that all of you were like me, but God has given different gifts to each of us.

8) Here is my advice for people who have never been married and for widows. You should stay single, just as I am. 9) But if you don’t have enough self-control, then go ahead and get married. After all, it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

10) I instruct married couples to stay together, and this is exactly what the Lord himself taught. A wife who leaves her husband 11) should either stay single or go back to her husband. And a husband should not leave his wife.

12) I don’t know of anything else the Lord said about marriage. All I can do is to give you my own advice. If your wife isn’t a follower of the Lord, but is willing to stay with you, don’t divorce her. 13) If your husband isn’t a follower, but is willing to stay with you, don’t divorce him. 14 Your husband or wife who isn’t a follower is made holy by having you as a mate. This also makes your children holy and keeps them from being unclean in God’s sight.

15) If your husband or wife isn’t a follower of the Lord and decides to divorce you, then you should agree to it. You are no longer bound to that person. After all, God chose you and wants you to live at peace. 16) And besides, how do you know if you will be able to save your husband or wife who isn’t a follower?

The bottom line is this, to have been married to the same person now for 33 years is a rather remarkable event. Many doubted our marriage from the get go, there was the age difference, the difference in taste, even her dad calling me a bum when Mary Jane told him we were going to get married. We overcame though, I think to the point where now, many in our family recognize the love we have for each other, to the point that Mary Jane’s dad Ed was among the first to encourage us to follow God’s call in our life. There are our two wonderful children, Marathana and Nathan and other additions including a wonderful son in law named Brett and a daughter in law named Emily. There is also those two incredible grandchildren, Aaliyah our granddaughter and Atticus our grandson.

Is it worth it to fight for this love concept called marriage? You bet it is, I know, as one who almost failed, I have learned the joy of success. I have experienced if for 33 years as of today, and I hope and pray that we will experience it together for all of eternity. That is love, and marriage is a bonding experience of love I celebrate today. Hopefully in my celebration, I have encouraged you to either celebrate your own relationships and to battle if necessary to make your relationships work, or to let you know, that it is perfectly okay to also celebrate your singleness if you are single. God is good all the time, I know because he has blessed me and among the greatest blessings I could experience is to be in a life long union with the most wonderful woman God could have ever blessed me with. For a dumb ol street kid who had nothing in life to look forward to, God has used my wife to bless my life and the ministry we are engaged in but I also have an eternity to look forward to. For that I am grateful to my God, but I am also so grateful for my wonderful soul mate, my wife Mary Jane.

To see the video below, just click on it, if for some reason the video doesn’t appear or is distorted or not in full frame, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Dna8dffc4
The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

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Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

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Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
6441 N. Hydraulic
Park City Kansas, 67219

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

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I Am Lonely, Can We Walk Together?

Sometimes I feel as if I have little value or I haven’t really accomplished much. Years ago I watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie and remember Michael Landon’s character talking about the need to leave something behind that would last beyond his lifetime as he created quality furniture. I thought at the time, “Right on!” We all want to be remembered, but the question becomes, what will we be remembered for if we are remembered at all?

I have had a number of epiphany moments as I have gotten older. An epiphany moment is a moment in life where a light bulb goes off, an “OH Yeah, I never saw that before,” moment. I am sure others have had them and if you haven’t, well, you probably need to do a self examination of your attitude. One of the moments I have come to realize, especially when looking at agencies, organizations, churches, individuals who seem to have all of the luck, get all of the money, have all of the people but in reality, do very little for the poor, the needy, the orphan and the widow, (the population groups God COMMANDS us to serve) is that, I just can’t do it all, and frankly, there are some things I suck at. If one needs a business man to solicit funds, to kiss someone’s rear and make them feel good, I am not the guy for that. It is a part of my environment, my surroundings, I am who God made me to be but I am not in my nature a butt kisser. My nature is to be straight forward, to the point and direct. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, I actually hate confrontation, but as hard as it is, truth is always more valuable than good feelings. I have seen the benefits of that attitude, I have seen the disadvantages. The Bible talks about the different gifts, temperament, attitudes we all have. We are who God made us, that don’t mean we take on and embrace the negatives but what is negative and what is a God given character and gifts can be debated.

I am concerned, we live in a society where we honor some people, some institutions, some concepts based on what we like not on what is from God. While there is a natural tendency to do that, I am convinced our support should be measured in what is being done that is based on Biblical concepts. The bottom line is, are we doing what God commands? Are the things we are supporting, the things God has ordained? It isn’t just as Keith Green used to say, a matter of giving money, it is a matter of giving yourself, your time and your pocket book.

As I have grown older, I have found benefit in understanding my own limitation but, it is also at times frustrating because I know there are often things that need to be done, can be done in a better way than I can do it but aren’t because I need people to walk with me. To see others suffer because of my ineffectiveness hurts.

We live in a time where we are in need of each other more than we sometimes like to admit. The Bible uses the analogy that we are” a body with many parts.” Each part has a specific purpose, to be used in a specific way for various functions. God understands that we need to work together to accomplish His work, unfortunately working together is a concept many have lost in an era where the focus is on self. We like to do things our way, in our own time, without sacrifice and effort. Kind of strange when we consider that the Bible speaks favorably of those who go through difficulty and sacrifice. We all seem to want the credit, as if we were the ones who deserve it.

In the brick and mortar church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita, we frequently say, God is good, all the time, and all of the time, God is good. Problems occur for us when we think we are the ones doing good. I will forever appreciate my love of Flannery O’Connor and the understanding of her work as taught me by Bev Holmskog. The reading, contemplation of the story A Good Man is Hard To Find, especially in contemplation with the Bible passage that states ‘There are none good, no, none but one,” along with the concepts of people wanting the credit and glory for everything is not lost on me.

In many church planning classes, seminary and or other ministry training programs, the research clearly shows, the way to grow a church is based on what people get out of it, not on what that body is doing based on Scriptural concepts. It is more about if I feel good than whether or not am I being challenged to do what God expects. The bottom line, and I challenge anyone to prove me and show me wrong, the body of Christ, the Church, is to be about doing ministry and sharing the Gospel, as a priority in that is ministry to and involving the poor, needy, orphan, widow and those who are hurting, for whatever reasons. Show me a church in the New Testament that did not take on and do this work seriously. The authors of scripture praise the work and all of scripture is breathed and inspired by the Holy Spirit.

The question for all Christ Followers is this, are we willing to sacrificially, if need be, do the things God has commanded us to do? Is this a point of priority, love, compassion, and mercy to the poor and needy, orphan, widow and the hurting? We all need to seriously look at whether or not our relationship with Christ is real? We need to evaluate our actions. The Bible says we will know who real followers of Jesus are based on two things, 1) Who do we say He is regarding His life, death and resurrection, and 2) Do we do the things He has commanded us to do. A part of the answer, I believe, to number one is the realization that Jesus had a deep and passionate love for sinners, also, the poor, hurting, outcast and so forth. In regards to the answer to number two, some speculate that the Bible speaks of serving, loving, redeeming, providing for, helping the poor some 2,000 or more times. If the Bible talks about something once, I believe it makes it important, imagine if it talks about things some 2,000 times? If taking Jesus and our walk with Him seriously, shouldn’t we be about doing and supporting the serious work of Jesus? Is it easy? Heck no, if it was Jesus would have never told us to ‘take up our cross and follow him daily.” But you know what, that is exactly what he told us to do, knowing full well what the cross implied.

Unfortunately many of us want something out of Christianity and we just aren’t getting it, some have quit for this reason. Maybe we don’t get what we want; don’t experience the relationship with Jesus He wants for us, including having joy in difficult times, because we aren’t doing our part. While we are saved by faith alone, we can’t deny or walk away from the words of James, Jesus brother, when he said “faith without works is dead.” Neither can we rationally ignore or explain away the words of Jesus when he says “what we have done for the least of these we have done for me.” This is especially true when you see that those considered lambs, worthy to spend eternity in Heaven is based on what one is willing to do.

I realize I am so far from perfect it is ridiculous. I also realize there is a journey I am on, a journey called life. Through it, I want to become as much like Jesus as possible. Unfortunately, the closer I get to Jesus, the more I realize I am further away than I should to be. I need my brothers and sisters in my faith to walk along side me, help me, work together to accomplish more. I want this thing called The Family of God to really be a family. I can’t do it alone; if we are honest about it, we will realize, none of us can.

To see the video below, just click on it, if for some reason the video doesn’t appear or is distorted or not in full frame, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Oiu9jW-VyE

The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the church I pastor, Mosaic Wichita which is predominantly a homeless church; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the material is provided.

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to visit the web page The Virtual Pew 

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

Click here to visit Mosaic Church where Mike is Pastor

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

The Virtual Pew
6441 N. Hydraulic
Park City Kansas, 67219

Email: mike@furches.org

Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew

Donations to The Virtual Pew

The Virtual Pew Blog

Personal Furches Web Site

Mary Jane Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Page

Mike Furches MySpace Blog

Hollywood Jesus

Reviews With Mike

The Virtual Pew Sermons

The Virtual Pew News

MySpace Hollywood Jesus Group

MySpace The Virtual Pew Group

The Virtual Pew Live Radio Web Page

To Subscribe to The Virtual Pew Live Feed