This morning as I watch the news there is continued talks and hopes of more
peace in the Middle East between Israel and some of the Muslim
nations. This warring between nations has existed since the days of Abram and
Sarai, Hagar, and Ishmael. The conflict started historically with today's
passage.
God made a promise to Abram that even in his old age he and his wife Sarai
would have children and that their decedents would outnumber the stars in the
sky. In their old age and the impatience of waiting you may say, Sarai offer
her slave Hagar to Abram to have relations with. Out of that relationship was
born Ishmael, often known as the father of Islam. Later on another son born to
Sarai, but more about that later. The discord between Hagar and Sarai in many
ways, and the decision of Abram as to which son would inherit his rights would
become a matter of debate that continues to this day in the creation of the
conflicts in the Middle East.
I have always been amazed by this story and the "Hollywood"
nature of the story. It's difficult to explain the rationale of why Sarai would
offer her slave Hagar to Abram so he could essentially, have sex with her in
order to have a son. Then there is Abram who knew and had heard the direction
of God in a vision from the Lord yet, here it is, a story that changed the
course of the world.
There is an interesting tidbit from the story though that sticks out to me.
That is the faithfulness of God. God keeps His promises to all parties
involved, not just Abram and Sarai, but also to Hagar. I am reminded, that as
messed up as things might get, God is faithful in keeping his promises despite
our ability to keep our promises to God. Imagine though, that if we honor God
how much better he will treat us. That is not always in the way of material
means but in the way that is explained in the New Testament as a way that gives
a peace that passes all understanding. In a way that no matter what is going on
we have a peace with God and in our own lives.
Today as we read about and see the peace talks that are going on, remember there
have been attempts at peace for many years. One thing is certain; to the
individuals God has made promises to, God keeps his promises. Something to
think about as we think about our own relationship with God.
To see Genesis Chapter 15 and 16 Click the following link:
You can also check out Mike's Musical ventures by searching for Mike Furches
and Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band. Mary Jane's album will
be out in September of 2020 and the Pastor Mike and Demon Slayer Blues Band
album will be released in October of 2020
There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can
also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone Kid at
mike@furches.org You can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.
Hopefully, you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.
You can donate via paypal at mike@furches.org or cash app at $MichaelFurches
Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The
short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means,
spread the word. Here is our contact information
The Virtual Pew
1249 N. St. Francis
Wichita Kansas,
67214
Email: mike@furches.org
Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew
To follow Mike's Band, Pastor Mike and the Demon Slayer Blues Band, click
the following link:
I deal with hurting people. I love hurting people. I think Jesus appreciates that, unfortunately it seems like many in “the church” like to keep hurting by going behind the backs of their so called brothers and sisters and blasting away at each other. I know this as a pastor of an online ministry, a pastor of a local church, and more importantly as a human being.
I try to be honest, I try to maintain integrity, I try to be real, I can’t tell you how much it hurts when others blast away, seem to not care, break promises, or refuse to follow biblical concepts and guidelines. On the areas of conflict and disagreement, we have clear direction but why some don’t seem to care who says they love Jesus astounds and confuses me at times.
Over the years I have been far from perfect, but I continue to strive in the direction of the cross and ways of Jesus and not waiver. I realize when I do waiver off the path that God has his own wonderful and unique way of bringing me back onto the path, but that don’t change the hurt that is delivered at the hands of those who are commanded to love.
Most people assume tough love implies that you are going to be tough on someone, what they don’t realize is that tough love is far tougher on the person giving it than the person receiving it. Let me be frank, I hurt, I hurt so deeply I can’t begin to describe the tears my wife and I have shed, yet you know what we do, we try to hide it, we say things are okay. I don’t think we are too unique in that, I think most people when hurting say things like that, I know why, because no matter who you are, or the situation you are in, people are rude, and think only of themselves, the last thing you want is a quick damning word that makes you hurt more, yet that is exactly what happens. As a follower of Jesus, it really hurts when those people who are supposed to love you, hurt you the most.
Now don’t get me wrong, none of this means you should never have conflict. Conflict is a part of growth, but how you deal with that conflict is a whole other issue. It amazes me at how people have to go to others and gossip, backbite, and hurt others.
In this process there is so much damage it is saddening. One person feels the need to tell someone else in confidence, and in return the person hearing realizes their need to listen, and the cycle goes round in round, and we have what we pretend to be presenting ourselves as a caring listening friend, when in reality we are engaging in gossip.
I have had several situations recently where episodes like this has come about, not just with me, but with others, but the hurt I and others have felt are real, and unnecessary.
For those who follow Jesus, and those who don’t the Bible is clear on this subject, and I would suggest that following those guidelines will help with relationships. First, if you have a problem with someone, if you think someone is saying something that is negative, or has any negative connotations; speak directly with the person before going and making public comment. There are exceptions; people in the work place or church, in some regards have obligations. A mental health worker for example has a responsibility to speak to supervisors if they feel harm may come about, a teacher has a responsibility to report if they suspect abuse, and a pastor or elder has the responsibility to share with other pastors and elders if they suspect the need, but it stops there. There has to be the understanding of personal and professional responsibility. But on one on one issues, and even in situations like the above mentioned there is the responsibility of going directly to the person.
Now this leaves another problem and that is the person listening to the complaints, the criticisms etc. You have the responsibility to not listen, in fact, your first response should be, “I am not going to listen to complaints about whosoever, if you have a complaint or want to bring up an issue, you should speak to them directly.” It is simple, if people were to practice this concept, we would quickly resolve the issue of backbiting. Let me make something clear from my own experience, if someone will backbite, or tear someone else down to you, they will to someone else about you. It isn’t worth it, take the high ground and tell them you won’t listen. I have actually walked away from conversations after the person kept speaking when I confronted them with this concept. They quickly got the point.
Now there is a teacher I appreciate, and the concept of this teaching is universally held by most theologians and Bible teachers. One of my favorite teachers is Dr. Charles Stanley. I am posting here the link to an article he did on this subject and I encourage you to read it, contemplate on it, and then do as Jesus commanded, go and sin no more.
The following is the link to the article. The article includes links, following the link is the article without the links. Click Here for the article. How to Handle Personal Conflict By Charles F. Stanley
Conflicts take many forms, from children shouting and punching on the playground to the most sophisticated international intrigue in times of war. Your "hot spot" for not getting along with others could be at home in your family or on the job with a co-worker whose personality isn't the best fit.
Whatever the case, you encounter various kinds of conflict in many areas of life, even as one who belongs to Christ. Some Christians mistakenly believe that since Jesus lives in and through them, guiding them with the Holy Spirit, that they will be able to avoid confrontations with others. Because God loves us so much and works continually to conform us to His image, Jesus does not prevent every argument from happening. Those He allows, He provides a way through them with grace.
He never intended for you to spend your energy seeking for ways to avoid all tension. That is impossible in this life. Jesus wants us to know what to be prepared for: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33 NIV). Imagine this scene in a typical home. The sister works hard all day doing what her mother asked—scrubbing the tile floors, cleaning the windows, folding the laundry. Her brother, however, spends his Saturday out with friends instead of doing his chores. To make matters worse, when her brother does come home, he succeeds in tromping mud down the entrance hall and doesn't even help to wipe it up.
Then suddenly, she blows her top. She tells him how thoughtless he is, among other things, and does not stop until she's vented her frustration. A few minutes later, as she sees his dejected, surprised face, she feels horrible. Now it will take much talking and forgiving to work through their disagreement.
That is the way it is with conflict. When a difference is not resolved within a reasonable amount of time, and within the boundaries of scriptural principles, more pain is the result.
In his book "Christian Counseling," Gary Collins talks about why anger is a natural part of conflict.
When a person is rejected, "put down," humiliated, unjustly criticized, or otherwise threatened, anger is often aroused. Threats challenge our self-esteem and make us feel so vulnerable that anger and aggression become ways to fight back. Sometimes when we are threatened and made aware of our own imperfections we respond in anger toward those who fail to meet our expectations of them. This directs attention away from ourselves, hides the fact that we are hurt or threatened, and lets us feel better at someone else's expense.
According to one psychologist, hurt and anger almost always go together. "Seconds after the event which arouses the hurt feeling, another feeling skyrockets into awareness—anger." The anger comes so quickly and is so apparent that it is easy to miss the hurt which comes first.
So how do you defuse the emotional bomb once you sense the countdown has begun? The power of Jesus Christ is the answer (Philippians 4:13). He is the only one who can control your emotions and channel them in the right directions. It is also crucial to remember that anger is not intrinsically wrong (Matthew 21:12-17). Anger in response to sin and its ill effects is a form of righteous anger, but when it crosses the line into nursing a grudge, or retaliation, or mean-spirited vengeance, it is not honoring to God.
A key principle for handling anger is found in Ephesians 4:26-27: "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." Have you ever gone to bed at night with an argument unsettled? How did you feel the next morning? More than likely, the sensation of weight on your heart had grown, and you might have felt physically ill.
Your own health and well-being are not the only reasons for quick resolution; the deeper principle at work is one of avoiding bitterness. When a hurt is not addressed, it works its way down into your inmost parts. Bitterness is a lack of forgiveness multiplied many times over, taking root and spreading into every segment of life.
A typical argument may operate in this fashion. You hear the accusations start to fly. Everything within you wants to just "tell it like it is" and make the person be silent, even at the expense of future communication. But this time, you are prepared. You understand how the Bible puts disagreements into eternal perspective, and you let Jesus take control of the situation.
1) Don't be concerned about making yourself heard. Be a good listener first. You cannot hope to defuse the intensity of both sets of emotions until you can calmly listen to the other person's point of view (James 1:19-20).
This is the biblical principle of "counting to ten" before you speak. Of course, the Lord wants you to do far more than engage in an empty, mental exercise. He wants you to pray, think about what Scripture applies to the situation, and ask Him to demonstrate His love to the other person in spite of your confused and uptight feelings.
2) Be truthful, as much as is loving under the circumstances, and don't seek to avoid the heart of the matter. It is always better to deal with the issue directly, rather than sidestepping or burying it. Colossians 3:9 explains the reason why you should speak honestly: "Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices."
3) Speak in love with words that build up the other person. The classic problem most people experience is that the very moment when gracious words are most required is also the moment that kindness is the most difficult. Again, the grace of the Lord must operate through you, and you can prepare to let Him work in advance of an argument (Ephesians 4:29). Norman Wright gives a picture of how Jesus demonstrated these qualities with difficult people in trying situations:
A basic characteristic of Jesus' approach was His compassion for others . . . His concern was to alleviate suffering and meet the needs of people.
When Jesus first met others, He accepted them as they were. In other words, He believed in them and what they would become. The characteristic of acceptance is seen in John 4, John 8, and Luke 19. When Jesus met the woman at the well, He accepted her as she was without judging her. He accepted the woman caught in adultery and Zacchaeus, the dishonest tax collector, as well.
Individuals were Jesus' top priority. He established this priority and gave them worth by putting their needs before the rules and regulations . . . He involved Himself in the lives of people who were considered the worst of sinners, and He met them where they had a need.
In any conflict, you should know that the outcome is not in your hands. You cannot force someone to listen or forgive or change. Only God can work in his or her heart, the same way that He works with you in patience and unconditional love (Philippians 2:13). You can only be responsible for yourself and your relationship with Christ.
In certain cases, you may be left with great hurts. You may be someone's emotional victim. God understands this pain, but He counsels you to let Him handle the offender (Romans 12:19).
Penelope Stokes shares a principle for facing such hurt in her book "Grace Under Pressure": "When we face a crisis of misunderstanding—no minor disagreement, but a major, life-shattering accusation—we are placed in a position to receive an abundant measure of the grace of God."
Whether you face conflict that redefines your spiritual existence or whether you deal with the routine disagreements of everyday living, the reality of Jesus' healing love is the same—and it belongs to you.
The following is a video on conflict, it can teach us a lot, just click on the video to watch, if the video don't appear, just click on the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI8Lbk936mQ
The Virtual Pew and our other work is supported solely by the kind contributions of others. You can click on the donate button below to give any amount to this work that does so much more than just post articles on the net; I draw no ongoing salary from the ministry I do; I am grateful for any small amount you can contribute to help with this ministry and ongoing costs. Believe me there is much more going on than most realize. I will also provide information to verify the ministry and income that comes into this ministry and work expenditures that go out. Thanks and feel free to share any material from The Virtual Pew, I only ask that appropriate credit is given and a link to the original site with the materials provided.
Also be on the lookout for our new children's book coming out Winter of 2017 titled Herald The Angel.
There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free audio book link of The Keystone Kid at mike@furches.org You can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/.
Hopefully, you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.
Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word. Here is our contact information
The Virtual Pew
1249 N. St. Francis
Wichita Kansas, 67214
Email: mike@furches.org
Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew
I am approaching 50 years of age, I was once a tough guy, at least some think so. Many when looking at me now with the goatee, long hair, seem to think I still am, yet, the older I get, the more I search for an understanding of God, Spirituality, and discovering the place I need to be according to my understanding of that search, the more emotional I find myself being when I find either new answers that will take me in a new direction, or in obtaining reassurance that I am on the right path to where I need to be going. One of the beautiful things about this journey is that sometimes, in fact, more often than I really deserve, I get to see movies, read books, hear music that I believe God has touched to help me in that understanding. It isn’t always something super spiritual; in fact, one of the first instances of this in my life that had a dramatic impact was the movie The Prince of Tides which I write about in my book, The Keystone Kid. There are other times though, times God uses something with spiritual intent to point me to spiritual conclusions. Sometimes when this happens, that formerly big tough guy gets emotional; such was the case this morning after finishing my viewing of the new, sure to be controversial documentary, “Lord Save Us From Your Followers, The Movement Edition, Why Is The Gospel Of Love Dividing America?” I was so moved by knowing that I am on the right journey, have come to some of the right conclusions, that I found myself weeping. It wasn’t so much for me, I would say it was for the hurt I feel for the Church that has forgotten about the mission of Jesus, and especially those who have been hurt. There was also tears for those that get it and are being Jesus to a hurting world.
This film by Dan Merchant should be required viewing and discussion for any church. The good thing is that some churches will take up this task; the sad thing is, most churches, will ignore the challenge. It is a shame; it is why the Church as perceived by many has become more like the whore of Hosea than a beautiful bride that loves her husband, Jesus Christ.
Lord Save Us From Your Followers, (LSUFYF), is a documentary exploration that explores the Church, specifically in America. In the exploration we see not only the perception of the church from various segments of society, but also how many within the Church, and the political influence outside of the Church views themselves. It is a road journey of sorts where discussion takes place not only on the streets of various cities, but with certain public individuals who have offered public perspectives. From Al Frankin, to Ann Coulter, and from Bono of U2 to Anthony Campolo, and numerous other views are presented and challenged. The movie while quoting and using the Bible at various points depends largely on common sense. The majority of the documentary actually takes on the exploration of ideas of how the Church and Christianity would be viewed if they did one simple thing, act like Jesus. The effects, the challenges that come about are not only eye opening; they are concepts that are effective. We see the effectiveness of this approach in various places it seems the Church has been at war with, from the media to gay community and from the public sector to the homeless and poor. We see this by practical applications of trial and error by the makers of the film, and we see it from the reality of the impact of Para church organizations like World Vision in their work with the poor in Ethiopia. One of the amazing points in showing the power of being like Jesus comes not at the mouths of the religious, but those who are outside of the institutional Church, or mainstream Christianity. It is here, that if those individual people who make up the Church, choose to listen, and learn, a great deal of effective work can be done. Now don’t get me wrong, one of the reasons I loved this movie is it isn’t that we do these things to make projects out of people, we do it because we love them, just as Jesus loved them.
One of the things I think some within Christianity and the Church will become critical of is that the movie doesn’t address the “salvation” concepts required by some within Christian circles. On this point I would simply state, I don’t believe that is the purpose of the film. In the Bible Jesus tells the story about one who is planting or sowing seeds. Some fall on good ground, some bad ground, there are some that come and help some along to grow and be effective and some, well some seeds die. It all starts with the concept of planting seeds or sowing seeds, it is a concept that I believe the Church, and many with Christianity have forgotten about. It is an approach that drives the work I am involved in, it is an approach that many find fault in. I love this movie though because it addresses the idea that the building of relationship, the showing of unconditional love, of universal acceptance of the person, compassion for their hurts, is a starting point of showing a person the very love that Jesus showed them. It is in taking on the characteristics of Jesus that we genuinely learn to love others to the point that this love ultimately becomes a natural part of our persona. Jesus loved and hurt all people, so should we, including the child dying of aids, the hurting in a hurricane devastated city, the homeless on the street, even those we may disagree with, the Democrat, the Republican, the Homosexual, and the Ultra Conservative. Love is patient, love is kind, love is…, well love is many things, but it is seldom confrontational, angry, hateful, and disrespecting.
One of the challenges presented in LSUFYF is the need for open, respectful dialog with persons we may disagree with. The need to get to know and understand each other is one of the things the documentary helps illustrate many Christians do a poor job of. For those of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus or Christian, we think we have all of the answers, yet we don’t understand those we are communicating with. In theological terms, getting to know people, showing people you love them where they are at is a concept we know Jesus illustrated, it is a concept called incarnation. Despite what some contemporary, popular Churches, Doctrines, Street Preachers, Bible Thumpers, may tell you, Jesus illustrated by how he led his life the methods we should use. Followers of Jesus understand what it means to love even those they may hate, what does this say about our ability to love those we simply disagree with on various points? While there is certainly the need for talking about the specifics of what Jesus said, that discussion has to start with an area of respect and understanding. Unfortunately, many who call themselves Christian, represent in name all of us who say we follow Jesus. The consequences of that has been devastating and in many ways, it is likely those individuals who are so dogmatic in their need to “confront sin,” have damaged the possibility of some people rejecting Jesus based solely on the behaviors and actions of those most outspoken who have proclaimed their actions was because of Jesus. When religious leaders call for the assassination of political leaders, or political leaders say we should kill all of the godless in a nation and make that nation a Christian nation, is it any wonder people are confused? When Jesus says to love your enemy, to pray for those that would do you harm, where does his followers get off saying and doing the exact opposite? When we do, is it any wonder people are confused? When taking these questions, our methods, and our results seriously, is it any wonder that real followers of Jesus would say about many in Christianity, Lord Save Us From Your Followers?
The following is a 10 minute sample of the film, double click on the video to watch, if the video don't appear, click on the following link:
To visit the web site, and order the film or obtain more information, click the following link, oh yea, and tell them that Mike Furches from Hollywood Jesus and The Virtual Pew sent you.
Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.
Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information
The Virtual Pew P.O. Box 17731 Wichita, KS 67217
Click on the following links to learn more about The Virtual Pew
