Thursday, June 24, 2021

Love and a New Partner in Life

Where do I even start? 

Well I guess the best place to start is with my family, especially Nathan and Marathana who have blessed me in my efforts and where I am at in this point of life including the decision that has been made. Understand, this isn’t an explanation, it isn’t an apology, it isn’t an attempt to make me feel justified. For those who have followed me over the years, you know I share openly on my social media pages which I’ve been doing shortly since the start of social media way back in the early days of Myspace. Social Media is an extension of ministry work I do it for a couple of reasons, One, it is my nature is to share, journal if you will my thoughts and feelings. It has helped me recover from my past which was horrific in many ways, yet, looking back on life it was a blessing in other ways. I also share because I hear daily of how this ministry has helped many and inspired others. 

 

I fell in love in my late teens with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.  I knew her for some 43/44 years, and was her partner for 42 years, a little more than 41 of those we were married. For all but maybe 6 – 7 months of those years we were very happily married. 

The remaining years of our life were FANTASTIC as we traveled the country and worked on her Bucket List of things to do and see.  I will forever love Mary Jane and am learning in life that one love does not negate the possibility of another when you have lost your spouse..

 

Sheila Tracy Mitchell has become a new love and a love in a way I never thought I would experience again. Our relationship isn’t like the one I had with Mary Jane in many ways, but in many ways it is. I don’t even know how to explain it, other than there is a massive amount of friendship, fun, serious discussions, times of worship together, love, and romance, (and we are trying to follow God’s plan in that last part). I feel like a teenager again, in love but being older knowing the difference between real love and infatuation, but hey, let’s back up just a little.

 

I didn’t think I would ever marry again. Mary Jane always said I would, I said she was crazy.  I really didn’t believe I would and wasn’t planning on it in any way. We did talk that I may like to find someone to hang around with, talk to and so forth, but I could do that with guys. Well, that’s what I thought. 

Looking back on life, I realize I need to not only love but for me, more importantly feel loved. The last year and a half of Mary Jane’s life and my time after her death were horrible and it took 6 months to begin to make some terrible mistakes.


I was lonely and there were several women contacting me on social media, a lot, with a lot of hints and advances. I dated some, and please understand, the mistakes made were my mistakes, I take full responsibility, thankfully I had a couple of friends who called me out. I broke off those relationships. I realized after speaking to some friends, that as a guy, I could give, and give, and love and love, but that didn’t mean I was going to be loved in return. 


Now before I go to far I must also say this, I did date one lady who was a wonderful, dear Christian friend and has been for years. I must say this because this friend is still a friend and I am grateful for that, but the truth is, there just was not a romantic sparkle. She is a sweet, dear lady, and I am confident will be, and has been supportive in many ways of my new relationship, but, let's get back to the story here. 

I had a list of 3 people, where I thought there was no way they would ever go out with me. I’ve always set my standards high and these ladies were you might say way above my class. I figured, why not ask the one at the top of my list whom I had admired and respected for her personality and faith for some years. I’ve always been one to shoot for the moon and stars.

 

Sheila Tracy Mitchell was at the top of my list, so after thinking there was no way she would say yes, I decided to ask her out for a movie and dinner anyway. She would have to give her own response as to why she said yes. She is a lot more private than I, but when she said yes, I did a little joy and happy dance, literally, not making that up. So we went out to dinner and a movie. Since that date almost 4 months ago now, we haven’t been hardly apart, seeing each other 3 – 4 days a week, and me really enjoying our time together, be it, walking and talking, going to the movies, or our regular routine, something I’ve never done before, going dancing most every Saturday Night. 

Shelia works various shifts as a home health care worker, so we search for time together. Let me tell you, the puppy love feeling has moved far beyond that to a point of real love, a love I believe is a  lasting love.


Now the most noticeable thing that people notice about us when they see us is we are a mixed race couple.  For those that have known me and/or my family over the years, that was never an issue, having a black son is an indication of that. 

None of this means that ever single person has been supportive of our relationship for various reasons. On the point of race, understand, I had a former friend who stated he had an issue and made a jest comment. I will say here, notice I said former friend. It is a blessing to see how many people have supported our relationship and made comment on how beautiful we are together, or how much they enjoy watching us together, and on and on.  Let me be clear, I absolutely, with all of my heart have placed Sheila to the #2 point in my life. Jesus is #1, Sheila has become above all others, including myself. I know love, I lived a life despite one serious mistake, showed others how much I can love. I LOVE SHEILA TRACY MITCHELL!

 

Sheila and I went Facebook Official some weeks after we had made a commitment to each other to be exclusive with each other. We realized early on of the beautiful thing God had done in putting us together. There is more now, as of this writing, for now going on 3 weeks, we’ve held out on an announcement. 

 

I had planned on asking Sheila to marry me at Jerry’s Bar and Grill, a place we go dancing, but at a concert on the Thursday before a situation arose that I realized I needed to jumpstart the proposal, I wanted Sheila to know that I loved her, would commit to her and be there for her in every way, so it was at Bradley Fair I asked, and she accepted to marry me.

 

Now there will be critics regarding the time of our relationship among other things. I would typically agree, 4 months is a quick period of time to make such a decision, but we have seen each other in that time more than anyone I’ve ever dated, including any 4 months prior to marriage with Mary Jane, and there is no doubt in my heart that this is right. 


For the last couple of months, I’ve had 3 men that I’ve shared several things with to help hold me accountable. I’ve discussed several things with them in the process and sought wisdom; that will continue. Sheila and I also realize that an engagement is a period of time where we plan on getting married, but we still advance our relationship with each other. For this reason we have looked at the possibility of a February wedding but that is up in the air. It could be sooner, it could be later, (I pray sooner than later.) The bottom line is we are praying about not just our timing, but God’s time.

 


Sheila has been wearing her ring and I made the effort to contact family early on, some contacted me, some did not so for some family, and a lot of friends this will be the first time you have heard this news.


On June 22 Hollywood Jesus ran a story about this and how our love came to be, thetime we’ve known each other and the role Hollywood Jesus more or less played inus getting to know each other over the years.


I would have never imagined, the joy Sheila has brought into my life after such a long difficult period of time. I am smiling, laughing, and even dancing again. I would have never thought this was possible and am excited about the hope of the rest of my life with Sheila. 


The Song, Love Song for Number 2 by friends Mickey and Becky Moore follows, just click on the link.

Mickey and Becki Moore - Love Song for Number Two - YouTube

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