CHAPTER
10
THANKSGIVING
CONFLICT
By: Mike Furches
It was a week
before Thanksgiving and things were already far more hectic than the Hamm's could handle.
Things over the last weeks had been rough with James and the family. The family
had decided to invite Detective Bob Hay and Sergeant Mike Jackson along with
their families and James' younger brothers Charlie and Buddy along with his
sister Barb to spend Thanksgiving together. They were convinced that getting
together with everyone would be a good opportunity to mend some of the fences
that had been broken with all of stress they had been enduring and short
tempers towards one another. What Tayra didn't realize or take into
consideration was all of the details that went with this adventure, from making
room in the dining room, the kitchen, how to cook all of the food, keeping it
warm until the time of serving, plus the hectic nature that came with the
Christmas rush. The Christmas rush started earlier and earlier each year. It
used to be that the rush didn't start until after Thanksgiving, now it was
prior to Halloween and the crowds and traffic were getting worse. All of this wore
on the nerves of anyone out trying to get the regular mundane concepts of life
taken care of.
While it was
normally easy to get around Owasso, that was not the case during this time of
year. The stores and strip malls were packed. The area had grown so fast that
the roads were not adequate to handle the traffic and number of customers. It
wasn't unusual to be backed off of the highway at the exit ramp during rush
hour or prime shopping times when going shopping.
Pastor Steve from
Discovery Bible Fellowship knew what was going on with the Hamms and had seen
the pressures mounting with the family so he offered them the use of the church
to cook the food. This was a big help, especially with the extra ham, turkey
and pies that needed to be prepared.
While a help it
didn't take care of the frustration that came from having to deal with all of
the traffic in the area and the storage of the items. Thankfully Pastor Steve also
allowed the use of extra storage at the church. Tayra or Charlie still had to
drive the things to the church even though the back roads were packed at
certain times it was still a big help. Charlie had learned a measure of faith
and patience but all of the Hamm's
still had a ways to go in the area of patience. All of the stress had had an
impact. It wasn't that the relationships had fallen apart by intent, but
tempers were running short and everyone in the Hamm home, including now, Brenda and Sammy along
with James were letting the stress get to them. The only exception was the baby
Kari. She was to young to know better and could pre occupy herself with the
most simple of toys and activities, just like most 1-year-olds.
******
Detective Bob Hay
and his wife were the first to arrive at the Hamm home. They also had his daughter and son
who had given up his motorcycle to Sammy when the family had been robbed. The
Hay's were already dressed in their Christmas sweaters, with the exception of
Chris, the son, he was wearing jeans and Newsboys t-shirt. They came in with a
couple of bottles of wine, a Muscat which was a sweet white wine and a bottle
of Chocolate Wine which Linda Hay, Bob's wife, had found and thought she might
enjoy. While none of the families were regular drinkers they had seen no issues
with an occasional glass of wine, or even a beer after a hard days work or
while watching a game. Tanya took the wine from Linda and put it on ice for
after dinner so it would be nicely chilled.
It wasn't more
than 15 minutes after the Hay's arrived that Sergeant Jackson and his wife Mary
arrived. They had James brothers Charlie and Buddy and their sister Barb. Mary
was a beautiful woman, who was in very good shape from working out and taking
care of herself. It was evident to those who met her that she must have been a
cheerleader or something of the sort that Mike had met while in college when he
played football for the Oklahoma State University Cowboys. Mike and Mary
Jackson never had children due to Mary's inability to birth children due to
medical complications. It was one of the reasons the family enjoyed keeping all
of the children on the weekends when James visited to spend time with his
brothers and sister. It was a reminder of what a could be for the family and it
helped open their eyes to the possibility of some day adopting children. They also
looked forward to the extended weekends during vacation time from school and
holidays because it meant they were able to have the children for even longer
periods of time.
For the hour or so
prior to dinner James was outside throwing a football around with Officer
Jackson and Sammy. With everything going on in the house it was an opportunity
to get out of the hectic atmosphere and chaos going on in the house. Charlie
was inside trying to get the tables set up, dealing with Tayra whose temper was
somewhat short from being nervous about everything that needed to be done. The
more nervous and agitated she got, the more it reflected on Charlie, thus the
reasoning for Mike, Sammy and James going outside. Detective Hay was in the family
room doing his best to ignore the ranting as he sat back in his chair watching the
NFL football game.
Officer Jackson
could tell that James was going through some stress, "So how are things
going James, are you ready for the big meal?"
James gave subtle
hints to his difficulties with everything that was going on, not just the
stress from all of the recent events but also being around a family during the
holidays. It was something he was having difficulty adjusting to. He wasn't
used to being around anyone and had no idea of how to behave, knowing what to
do was foreign to him in this large family, holiday environment. "I'm
doing okay I guess, I just don't know how to deal with this holiday stuff and
why it is such a big deal." He responded to Mike.
"Heck, it
seems like the stress always lends itself to problems to me." Sammy
responded, "I just hope it doesn't lead to the typical Thanksgiving meal
argument or disagreement that seems to happen all of the time."
"Tell me
about it," Officer Jackson jumped in, "It is one of those things I
like about having a small family get together. But you know how it is? You have
to spend the holidays with the family and if there is no family, there are
always friends like the Hamm's
that invite you over. Bottom line is, and I don't mind to much, but you can't
get away from it all."
"I just don't
understand all of the food and stuff," James replied, "I mean if it
causes the stress and arguments to come about I think it would be hard to find
something to be thankful for." The football just thrown by Sammy sailed
over James head. He went running after it before Mike Jackson could respond.
After James got
the football, he went to throw it to Sammy and Mike responded, "I guess
that is a part of being in a family. You don't just love each other in the good
times but you learn to love in the bad times as well. I think Jesus said as
much when he said it is easy to love your friends or neighbor. It is when you
can love your enemies and endure and go through tough times that you really
understand the concept of love. Believe me, it isn't always easy but it does
seem to make life and the stress easier."
"Well I just
don't know how much more of that kind of love I can endure," James
responded, "I would just like folks to know me better. It is like I am a
token or something. Mike, you know what
I am talking about don't you, I mean there are good intentions and all but
don't people at some point understand that my world and experiences are
different than theirs?"
"Yeah, I can
agree with you James but part of them knowing you better is you getting to know
them better. It's a two way street, there has to be give and take and I know
that being Black and having the experiences you have is something they likely
haven't been around before. That doesn't take away from their good intentions,
of course we all know that the path to Hell is paved with good intentions but I
would say again, take the time to get to know the family, heck you get along
with Sammy and all, he is having to learn as well." Mike responded as he
zipped the ball into Sammy.
"Ouch!"
Sammy yelled out, "That burned, take it easy man!" Sammy went to
respond further as his hands burned from the ball that Sergeant Jackson had
thrown at him and his stomach also hurt from it slipping through his hands into
his stomach. The cold day didn't help matters much. "I think it is easier
for me in some ways because I am at least around some Blacks at school but
James you have taught me so much more, I think Mom and Dad are willing to
learn, they just don't know what to learn."
"That's what
I am talking about." Sergeant Jackson responded, "Someone has to be
willing to teach them and you are likely the best teacher they will have
James."
"That could
be a problem," Sammy responded, "If James is the best teacher they
have they better be willing to listen. Them listening to someone our age is
like asking God to part the Red Sea again so the Hebrews can escape Egypt."
James knew that
there was a sense of seriousness in the discussion, but responded anyway as
Sammy was still rubbing his hands and belly, "Well I never expected myself
to be a Moses. I guess I will go kicking and screaming to carry out that
responsibility just like he did."
They all laughed
as Mike's wife Mary stuck out her head from the front door of the house and
yelled out, "Come on boys, dinner is served."
All three came
into the house and took their seats around the table. Charlie had connected a
couple of large fold up tables so everyone could sit together in the large
dining room. Tayra had covered the tables with a nice red table cloth and no
one would have known they were fold up tables. The tables were immaculately set
with food scattered around the table. There
was a large turkey which Charlie was doing his best to slice with the cordless
electric knife and spiral ham which had already been pre-sliced. Charlie had
sliced enough turkey when he interrupted the chatter going on around the table.
"Alright, everyone ready to eat?" He asked.
Various supportive
responses erupted from all around the table to affirm they were ready to eat. He
then stated, "Okay, but you do know it's Thanksgiving so I ask that we all
hold hands and pray together to give thanks."
After saying this
everyone grabbed the hand of the ones setting next to them and bowed their head
as Charlie prayed, "Father you have given us all so much, I come to thank
you on behalf of everyone here. Lord we have so much to be thankful for but
this year I really thank you that we are all able to come together and have had
a roll in making James life better as well as for his brothers and sister. Lord
use us to continue to have an impact on this family and be with them. Thank you
for bringing us all together and using us in the way you have, continue to
remind us of our need to serve those in need the way you have commanded us to. It is in Jesus name I pray and give thanks, amen."
As Charlie
finished his prayer he looked up and saw James sitting there staring at him.
Charlie didn't realize it at the moment but the prayer, while prayed in
sincerity, offended James. James was offended because he didn't like being seen
as a charity case. He had made a mistake but he had done what he did in order
to provide for his brothers and sister. He had only tried to find a way to keep
the family together during a tough time when his mother had deserted them. The
more James thought about the prayer the angrier he got. As the food was passed
around the table, it became obvious to Tayra that he was angry and wasn't
getting much food.
"What's the
matter James, fill your plate up, there is a lot of food here, it is a time to
chow down." Tayra said.
"I'm not very
hungry and I don't know why we have to chow down." James responded in a
rather confrontational tone that clearly made everyone around the table
uncomfortable.
Charlie spoke up
to confront James, "Come on boy," at which point Sergeant Jackson cringed. Charlie
continued, "Tayra is just trying to be nice, you need to apologize to her
for your response and tone."
James was clearly
even more upset as the stress, the episodes of the recent past and the holiday
confusion was building to a crescendo. "First man, I am not a boy and I
don't know what is so bad that I have to apologize for not wanting to 'chow
down,' so you can forget any apology."
Sergeant Jackson
trying to prevent a serious confrontation jumped in, "James I don't think
he meant anything by his comment and Tayra really is trying to be nice."
James responded in
an angry tone, "Come on man you know we don't like being called boy. I'm
not someone's house slave and neither are you."
Everyone around
the table was getting more uncomfortable including Charlie who was also starting
to get angry. "James! I never intended to call you anything like a house
slave, you know that! After all we have done to help you I can't believe you
would stoop to such a low level!"
James responded,
even more angry now, "I never asked you to do anything for me. I've tried
to be respectful, decent and contribute to the needs around here. I've done
everything you have asked of me, I don't know what the big deal is. I just wish
you'd understand what I am going through, what I am seeing on the news and
hearing on the radio. If you only understand how it seems that I have to
respond a certain way while going through the things I am feeling and then
watching how your conservative Christians clearly don't understand or care
about my community, then you stoop so low as to call me 'boy.'"
Tayra was now
crying, the rest of the table had gone beyond the point of being uncomfortable
when Charlie responded further in anger, "Well we can't understand what
you're going through if you don't share with us your feelings now can we? You
have a responsibility as well to be a part of this scenario and help us learn
what we need to learn, but then again, it seems as if we are always catering
around the needs of others and no one ever takes what we feel into consideration."
Now while Charlie had no desire for this
to come across as a racial comment, it did and this didn't help matters at all
with James.
Charlie, was upset
as he saw Tayra crying and James own brothers and sister starting to get
uncomfortable. His comments didn't calm James down any as James responded, "It
is always about having to submit to what you want for me but truth is you don't
know anything about my community, you know nothing about being Black and trying
to survive in this world. One of the problems you Christians have is you talk
so much about how important it is to love others, but you have never bothered
to take the time to get to know me or anyone like me." James then took his
napkin, threw it down on his plate and stated as he got up to leave,
"Please excuse me, I don't have any appetite now."
James got up to
leave the table when Charlie started to speak. As he started to say something
Detective Hay spoke up, "Let it go Charlie, let him go, he needs some
time."
Mike Jackson
affirmed Detective Hay's comments, "Yeah, let it go Charlie, let him calm
down. There are a lot of things on the table that we need to talk about and now
isn't the time to do it. Let's enjoy what we can of dinner and move on."
For a moment there was a deafening silence as no one knew what to say.
Sammy breaking the
awkward silence finally spoke up, "Well it is still Thanksgiving and I
need some mashed potatoes and gravy, can someone pass them down this way along
with the sweet potato casserole."
Brenda his sister
spoke up, "Don't pass him those potatoes, Sammy, don't forget you still
have to make weight this weekend for the Thanksgiving wrestling tournament up
in Kansas."
"Yeah,"
Sergeant Jackson said, I am planning on driving up to see you wrestle this
weekend and was going to bring Charlie, Buddy and Barb along with James to see
you. You miss out because you fail to make weight I am going to be a little
ticked after driving all that way and getting a couple of motel rooms to stay
for the entire tournament."
Everyone giggled
as Sammy said, "Okay, okay, just give me a small taste of them. Dad put
the food on my plate, I know mom will give me way too much but you know what I
can eat to still be able to work it off and make weight tomorrow night at
weigh-in."
Charlie responded
in a more relaxed tone as Tayra looked at him in displeasure as she never liked
the idea that her boy couldn't eat what he wanted during the Thanksgiving meal
due to having to make weight for the annual Thanksgiving Wrestling Tournament
Owasso attended in Derby Kansas. "Okay son, but you know it
means having to get a run in tonight and tomorrow morning before you go up for
weigh-in?"
"Sure dad,
but remember, I wrestle weight and don't cut that much, so don't put me through
the starving stage." Sammy responded, knowing he never cut excessive
weight like a lot of wrestlers did. He also knew that while James was now
wresting for the Rams, that he was new to the sport and wouldn't have to worry
about making weight as he was a JV wrestler who would not be wrestling at this tournament.
Sammy only hoped James would cool off enough to at least go with them to the
tournament. Sammy was thankful that Mike Jackson was driving up and taking James
brothers and sister. Sammy knew that would increase the likelihood that James
would be going.
The mood at the
table was much lighter now. While it wasn't at the joyful place the family and
guests would have liked it to be it was better than it was before the blow up.
While Charlie and Tayra especially were struggling with what had transpired,
they tried to be a good host to their guests. Detective Hay had mentioned that
there were things to discuss regarding some issue with James with all of the
involved parties. Charlie and Tayra also knew there was little more than a month to go before James
time with the court system was up. They had learned to love James though and
didn't want to do anything to spoil his chances of being done with his parole,
neither did they want to jeopardize the love that had developed between them,
at least what they felt was love. After the events of the last few days and
especially this evening, they weren't sure if James felt the same way.
James had picked
up enough hours from working a part-time-job and working at the church to have
already paid off his debt and fines but Charlie and Tayra had a family and
children of their own they had to raise and they realized their need to make
sure the house maintained a measure of respect. They honestly didn't know what
was going on and needed time to discuss the issues that were now on display for
all to see with Detective Hay and Sergeant Jackson. They knew it wouldn't be
easy, didn't guarantee that the relationships would be healed, but for all
involved, it had to be done.
While the Hamm's didn't know it, James
had had a brief conversation with Sergeant Jackson which added additional
pressure into his life. It was something the others had not spoken openly about,
nor did they know what was going on or of the conversation or news that
Sergeant Jackson and Detective Hay had been given earlier the day before. Mike
Jackson also understood some of the confusion and burdensome issues James was
going through because he was himself after all, a Black America.
There were clearly
things the Hamm's
needed to be aware of. While there were things for them to learn, at least they
had a heart where they were willing to learn, whether James understood or not.
Mike was convinced, from the time he had spent alone with James now for almost
a year on weekends, James was a good young man who could also learn a thing or
two. It wasn't that the Hamm's
and James couldn't come to respect each other, it was just that they didn't
know the specifics of what they needed to do to make sure this respect happened.
Incarnation was
something Sergeant Mike Jackson and Detective Bob Hay had learned to do in
order to be successful police officers. They had seen first hand what happened
when a bad police officer was unwilling to learn about the people and
communities they served. The Christian faith of these two men was taken
seriously enough by the two of them that they had insight. If willing to listen
to and learn from, The Hamm's and James would be able to be helped and possibly
make improvements on their lives and the lives of the opposite race they each
respectively came into contact with. While Sergeant Jackson and Detective hay
knew this needed to be done, they also knew there needed to be a cooling off
period, hopefully there wasn't so much harm already done that there couldn't be
the healing that needed to occur.
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