The Virtual Pew Daily

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 46

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I pray for those who have done me, and/or others wrong.

Father I ask first and foremost that my prayer does not appear to be a self-righteous or pious prayer. I realize my own sins, my failures, abuses and inappropriate treatments, thoughts, and actions towards others. I am no better than those I pray for.

Today Father I ask that you help me see and have mercy on those who have done me and others wrong. I realize that something has occurred in their lives that have caused them to see others the way they do. Whatever it is that has for some, driven them away from your loving ways, heal, touch and bring a fresh memory of what you did for them. Father, I ask that for me, and those reading this prayer today that know you, that you would keep your love, your mercy, and your grace real and fresh in our lives. Help us realize that we are all individuals who have been born into sin, and in reality are no more deserving of your grace than the next person, yet, you love us.

Father, I ask that you will keep fresh in my mind the reason I need your grace, but in keeping that memory alive, I ask that I not lose site of your desire to draw people to you through your love, grace, mercy and compassion. Just as I can’t get dogs to come to me when yelling at them, I don’t think many will be drawn to you when being yelled at or abused. Help us all be the witnesses you want us to.

Lord over the years there are those who have done me wrong in many ways, I know that, you know that. I ask that I will have a better understanding of their reasoning, not to judge them, but so I can better share love with them, and better understand their own pain. Help me be a witness to your ways, your will, and your mercy. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

A passage for us all to think about as we pray for those who have done us wrong.

Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer” “I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner and like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.”

But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow saying, “O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.” I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. ~ Luke 18: 10-14

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 45

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

For those that don’t know, I am actually ahead a few posts on my journal entries, what I mean by that is that by the time I post this entry I will be several days past this entry in real time. It is quite interesting to see what happens between the time I post an entry and the time I write it. That is especially true for today’s posting.

I am at the place where as a part of my reconciliation process I need to write a couple of folks to inform them of my hurt, and to offer my forgiveness for the way I have felt towards them. It is ironic because it is people I have trusted and valued over the years, and people I didn’t think would ever hurt me. These are folks I thought understood me and what I do. I don’t know if I am hurt unjustly or if it is a condition of the years of this type of behavior. I honestly don’t think I would respond to them in the same way, at least I hope and pray not. It may not seem like a big thing, but for me it has been, but again, I don’t know if it is due to an unrealistic expectation from me or not.

Here is what I do know, I can’t blame God for either my lack of communication and/or needs, or because of how others respond to my requests or my needs. I have done well in the past at not blaming God, I have to wonder though, is it right to blame others. I just don’t know. It is the pain of going through the experiences I have in life; I really can’t trust hardly anyone with the exception of God. While I have learned that, I think I still have a ways to go. I have to let go of the pains, and let God heal, and direct. In that free-will I have spoken about before, I am also aware and really believe with my whole, that people often reject the call of God. God can come through, I can’t explain it, but I have to also hold out hope.

God as I write this I don’t know how others are going to respond when I contact them. Help me let go of any wrong feelings towards them, but more importantly, help me understand and realize, you are my hope, it is you, and you alone whom I should place my hope, my trust and my life in. Help me understand the fullness of that.

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 43/44

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I start Step 6 of the 11 Step process. I realize I have to work to not become like those who have done me wrong. I also realize I have been making the effort to do this for some time. While I am doing pretty well in this area I have moments of weakness. I need to work on consistency; the last thing I want is to be in any way like those who have done me wrong.

It is easy to get to the place where I think I am all there, or doing well, despite the progress I may experience, I have to remind myself that I must seek God daily. I must work at not being like the ones who have hurt me. I liked the comment today in the book regarding walking in the light as opposed to thinking I am the light. Only Jesus is the light, only his ways are perfect. I can’t do it on my own; I must walk with Jesus, allowing his Spirit to teach me day by day, moment by moment.

I normally try to spend time with God on a daily basis, but the distractions impact me. I long for time to be alone where I control my environment. Sometimes it is easy to get so busy doing ministry, that I can’t find the time to allow God to minister to me. It is only as I allow God to minister to me that I can grow and receive and put into practice the things God has for me.

Father help me walk with you in the moment; help me appreciate the work you do in my life. I pray that I become more like you and shed my imperfections. I ask that you would assist in shedding my sins like a snake sheds its skin. While there may be struggle, with the shedding comes a new me. Help me go through this process on a regular basis, as I need it to become more like you.

Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Galatians 5:25

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 42

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I continue to reflect on yesterday. I must continue to take steps to make things right in regards to my relationship with others. I have tried to do that over the years, and in some situations succeeded. I guess I struggle in a couple of areas though regarding making amends. I realize that I have the responsibility to make things right with those I have wronged. I also have the obligation to forgive. I have tried to do that for several years, but if I am honest, I have to admit and confess some issues where I have failed.

One of the issues I have is staying at the place I can forgive. I find that at times things happen, either something someone says or does, or situations or places I am in cause me for the lack of a better word, to backslide. I find myself letting go of anger, then later on, getting angry again at the same person. I recognize the need of me to quit trying to do it, and let Christ through His Holy Spirit help me in forgiving others. I can’t do it on my own. I recognize my need to forgive and let go, to not hold on to grudges, to not go back to the place of being angry or being inappropriate with another person.

One of the hard things for me to recognize is this really is a journey, while I may take a couple of steps forward, it isn’t unusual to find myself taking a step back. I need God to remind me of not where I am at, but where I used to be. I need to see and recognize the progress I make with God’s help. I need to keep my eyes on Jesus as I progress, not keep looking back. When I find myself falling back, start over from that point and move on.

God help me move forward, to let go, where I hold on to grudges, anger, pride or any type of sin related to my attitude, help me let it go. I can’t expect people to love and accept me, if I can’t love and accept them, no matter who they are, where they are at, or what they have done.

Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. ~ Luke 6:31

Don’t sin by letting anger control you. “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

If you are a thief, quite stealing. Instead use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. ~ Ephesians 4: 26-30

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 41

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

As I have been going through the journal process I have been able to pretty much do, and post every aspect of the process, that is with the exception of today. To maintain the confidence of those I have done wrong, I will leave names out. I know there are those I have wrong to due to my abuse. I have and will continue to try and make amends with them because it is what God expects of me. Unfortunately, many of those were also victims; it doesn’t make the process any easier.

Today I also think about those who continue to do me harm, continue to be critical, and continue to care about all of their issues, without ever taking into consideration the issues and experiences I have gone through. I would hope for a little joy regarding my own recovery, instead I seem to get the opposite. It is one of the reasons it is so easy to isolate and not trust. To think that I may have perpetuated this type of attitude on others as a result of how I have responded to my own abuse is troubling. I find myself asking God to remove whole blocks of memory, he doesn’t though. I have to learn the importance of coming together in community with those God has commanded me to love. It isn’t the lovable I love that is a witness to my relationship with God, it is my willingness, and my efforts to love the hard to love, those who have, and will continue to hurt me that my witness is displayed.

Today, I struggle; I struggle because trying to do things Gods’ way is not easy, in fact, not only is it difficult, it is difficult trying to figure out which thing I do first.

God, help me forgive those I need to, help me to know what to do. I also ask that in my own struggles I don’t forget those I have hurt. While others may not be willing to do right by me, I ask that you will motivate and move me to do right by others. Help me to not only forgive, but to seek forgiveness in areas I need to.

Dear Children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ~ 1st John 3:18

If you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. ~ Matthew 5: 23, 24

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 40

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

For most of my Christian life I have felt that God was there, and He was, but I haven’t reflected much on the beatitude in the Sermon on the Mount that says: “The pure of heart will see God.” ~ Matthew 5:8

I have tried to seek God’s heart and desires in my life. I know that more times than not I have done so with an impure heart. I have had anger, frustration, doubt and more in my life. Recently I have seen that in regards to a speaking tour I am working on. I have two churches that are critical to me being able to take this tour. I’ll be honest; I haven’t had peace because I haven’t heard back from these churches despite several emails, a phone call and messages at Facebook. While it may not be a big deal to some, it is huge for me. I have been stressed out and hurt by the lack of response. In the whole thing, I haven’t been able to fully understand God because I don’t know if my heart has been pure in loving and in trying to understand and on and on.

I realize, God wants me to find my favor with Him alone. While God certainly uses people and situations to accomplish His purpose, He wants me to understand, it is still He who is known as Jehovah Jireh, my provider.

It is only in God that I will find peace from the abuse, the situations I am in, my future, and my entirety. It is God I have to rely on. People will fail, whether they intend to or not. In my belief in free-will, I have to keep my focus on the eternal things God has for me, not the temporary things of this earth.

God, help me see your hand in my life; help me live a life that is pure. When I fail, have your Holy Spirit give me wisdom. Bug me until I surrender. I ask that your angels will protect me from the subtle attacks and discouragement. Help me find joy in You and help me follow Your example in all ways, not just a few.

Brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worth of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. ~ Philippians 4: 8, 9

Make sure to check the blog archive to follow this journal through its entirety, plus an interview with author Jack Watts and the review of the book.

To see the video posted below click on the video. If the video isn’t at full scale or doesn’t show up, click on the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-snU6_zv24

Click here to read about, and order the book, The Keystone Kid

Click here to follow The Virtual Pew on Twitter

Mike Furches on Faceboook.

The Keystone Kid/Virtual Pew Message Boards

Click here for booking information to have Pastor Mike come speak or perform, from speaking to music or magic, something for all groups.

Click to visit with Pastor Mike regarding any of your needs. He will respond to each request personally, and if need be refer you to one of our other pastors.

Click to subscribe to my blog

Click to visit and join our sister group at MySpace Hollywood Jesus.

Now for those that do not know, make sure you check out the numerous articles and blogs by checking out the archives. If visiting The Virtual Pew or MySpace they are archived on the left hand side of the page. Scroll down to where you see newer or older listed under archives and then click there. There are hundreds of postings so make sure to check out the archives. You can also contact me for a free e-book pre edit version of The Keystone Kid at mike@thevirtualpew.comYou can visit http://www.thevirtualpew.com/ and on the front page down on the left side you sill see our store. Your purchase provides needed funds to The Virtual Pew. If you do not see something to purchase you can click on the search engine, (do not put anything in the search box at this time). You will be taken to Amazon where you can search for anything you desire. Hopefully you will consider a gift to The Virtual Pew.

Now I get asked this quite often, Can we repost your blogs or articles? The short answer to that is, what an honor that you would ask, and by all means, spread the word.Here is our contact information

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Daily Journal for The Recovery From Religious Abuse Day 39

Today starts a new day; I realize that I have been abused by religion. It took me through Day 8, 9 before I realized this, but I am glad I did. You can go back to see my comments on Day 8 and 9 to see what I am speaking of. I am taking the time to do the exercises as outlined in the book; Recovering From Religious Abuse, 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom written by: Jack Watts. While I know that hurt and abuse as described and presented in the book are two different things, I have come to the understanding that in regards to taking advantage of me I have in fact been abused. I will admit, one of my greatest concerns is I may have at times abused religion. I don’t think I have but this journey will help me understand where I am at and in the process help others as I journal each day with the steps outlined in the book.

Today I realize my own need to let go of the pain others have passed on to me. I know God doesn’t want me at the place of distress but I have let things fester over the years regarding those who have hurt me. I have such a desire to be appreciated, to be liked, that I grieve, hurt, and stress more than I should. Even today there are things that have me stressing and hurting. I have to let go and experience the freedom and healing God has for me.

While not required in the journal, I am going to do something different. I am going to contact those who have hurt me, explain my hurt, and ask them to forgive me for holding grudges. I need to release them and free myself from the pain I have experienced. I have lived many years after my abuse, it will take time but I start the journey of forgiving today, one by one. I have done that for some who have sought it but I haven’t done it for all. I need to be clear, concise, and to the point. I need to let go knowing that I have done what God requires of me. At this point, I will be able to better receive what God has for me.

My God, my Father, you are the King of Kings, the Creator of the universe. I have no need to in the tough times I am in nor have the pain others have inflicted on me be bring me down or keep me down. God you know the truth, I know the truth, unfortunately when others perceive to know the truth without speaking to me or checking the facts, that is their problem, give clarity and let your truth stand. God you are big enough, strong enough, and powerful enough to deliver and know what is best for me. Let your truth stand. Father, help me let go to experience the freedom and liberty you have for me. Help me to forgive and move on.

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans: 8: 38, 39

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. ~ 1 John 3:1

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